10 Signs A Guy Is Pretending To Love You 

Love can be complicated, and sometimes it’s hard to know what someone really feels. 

Everyone wants to be loved for real, not just kept around for convenience or selfish reasons. 

But how can you tell if a guy is truly in love with you or just pretending? It’s important to recognize the signs so you don’t get hurt.

Pretending to love someone isn’t just unfair; it’s hurtful. It can leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and wondering what went wrong. 

No one deserves to be in a relationship where the other person isn’t being honest about their feelings. Understanding the signs of fake love can help you protect your heart and find someone who truly values you.

Sometimes, the clues are subtle. Maybe he says all the right things, but something just doesn’t feel right. Or he acts sweet, but his actions don’t match his words. 

Paying attention to these signals can make a big difference in figuring out whether his love is genuine or not.

Nobody wants to be played or led on. Knowing the signs can help you avoid getting stuck in a relationship where you’re not truly loved. 

It’s better to be aware and take action than to stay in something that isn’t real. You deserve a relationship that’s built on real love, trust, and respect.

1. He Avoids Deep Conversations

One major red flag is when a guy avoids deep, meaningful conversations. 

Talking about surface-level stuff is fine, but if he dodges talking about the future or avoids discussing feelings, that’s a clue. 

A genuine partner will want to connect on more than just the small stuff. Real love goes deeper than casual chats.

He might change the subject whenever things get serious, or he’ll shrug off questions about the relationship. This shows he’s not invested emotionally. 

Guys who truly care about you will be willing to have those tough conversations, even if they’re uncomfortable.

If everything stays on the surface, it’s like he’s keeping you at arm’s length. It’s possible he’s just not in it for the long haul and doesn’t see a future together. 

Being open and honest should be easy in a loving relationship, but pretending? That’s all about avoiding those vulnerable moments.

2. His Actions Don’t Match His Words

Saying “I love you” is easy, but actions speak louder. If he’s always telling you how much he cares but doesn’t follow through, something’s up. 

Maybe he says he’ll be there for you, but he’s constantly making excuses or bailing on plans. That’s a red flag. True love is shown through actions, not just words.

A guy who really loves you will make you a priority. He’ll show up when it matters and be consistent in his behavior. 

Pretenders, on the other hand, might only say what you want to hear to keep you around, but their actions won’t back it up. Watch how he behaves, not just what he says.

Consistency matters. You deserve someone who follows through and shows up, not someone who only talks a good game. 

Love is proven through effort, time, and commitment—not just sweet words that never lead to action.

3. He’s Only Interested in the Physical

If his attention seems mostly focused on physical affection and not much else, it could be a sign he’s not really in love. 

Sure, physical chemistry is important, but a guy who’s truly into you will care about more than just that. 

If the relationship feels like it’s mostly about what happens behind closed doors, it’s a sign something might be missing.

He might shower you with affection when you’re together but not make much effort to connect outside of that. 

Calls, texts, and spending time doing non-physical things together are just as important. When those things are lacking, it’s easy to feel like something is off.

A loving relationship is about emotional intimacy as much as it is about physical attraction. 

If he’s just focused on one part and doesn’t care to get to know you deeply, then love may not be what’s motivating him.

[Also Read: Why Walking Away Is So Powerful]

4. He Doesn’t Include You in His Life

Being excluded from important parts of his life is another sign. A guy who’s pretending to love you might keep you separate from his family, friends, or major life events. 

If he’s not introducing you to people close to him or doesn’t invite you to significant moments, it suggests he’s not fully invested.

Genuine love involves integration. A partner who truly cares about you will want you to be part of their world, sharing experiences and relationships. 

When someone keeps you on the outside, it can feel like you’re not really a part of their future plans.

It’s important to pay attention to how much of his life you’re actually included in. 

If he’s not making space for you in his everyday life or future plans, that could be a huge sign he’s not as committed as he claims to be.

5. He’s Not Supportive of Your Dreams

A partner who truly cares about you will support your goals and dreams. He’ll cheer you on, be excited about your successes, and stand by you during setbacks. 

But if he shows no interest in what you’re passionate about or dismisses your ambitions, he might not be as genuine as he seems.

Maybe he brushes off your achievements or changes the topic when you talk about your goals. 

A loving partner should want to see you thrive and grow, not make you feel like your dreams don’t matter. It’s a sign he’s not invested in your future together if he doesn’t care about what’s important to you.

Being with someone who loves you means having someone who encourages and believes in you. Without that support, it feels one-sided and shallow. 

You deserve someone who lifts you up, not someone who brings you down or ignores your aspirations.

[Read: You Cannot Make Someone Love You By Loving Them Harder]

6. He Keeps You at a Distance Emotionally

Sharing feelings and being vulnerable is key in any loving relationship. 

If he’s always keeping his guard up, never really letting you in, it could be a sign he’s pretending. 

A guy who truly cares will open up, share his thoughts, and let you see the real him. Staying closed off is a way to keep things superficial.

He might avoid talking about past experiences or never share what’s really going on in his mind. It’s tough to build a strong bond if only one person is being open. 

Love requires trust and emotional intimacy, not just being physically present.

A real connection goes beyond just having fun together. It’s about being there for each other through the ups and downs. 

If he’s not willing to let you see his true self, then the relationship might be more about convenience than love.

7. He’s Inconsistent with His Affection

One day he’s all over you, the next he’s distant and cold. That kind of inconsistency can be really confusing. 

A guy who’s pretending might act super affectionate when it suits him but then pull away without explanation. True love doesn’t flip-flop like that.

A loving partner will show affection in a steady, genuine way. It’s not about grand gestures once in a while but rather small, consistent actions that make you feel valued. 

When his behavior is unpredictable, it’s hard to know where you stand.

You deserve someone who makes you feel secure and cherished all the time, not just on their terms. 

Being unsure of his feelings is a big sign that something isn’t right. Genuine love is steady, not a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

8. He Only Contacts You When He Needs Something

True love means wanting to connect just because you miss someone, not only reaching out when you need a favor. 

If he’s mostly contacting you when he needs help, money, or just someone to listen to his problems, that’s a major sign he’s not in it for the right reasons.

Think about it: does he often call just to chat or see how your day was? Or is he usually asking for a ride, a favor, or emotional support without giving much back? 

A loving partner will be there for you just as much as you are for him. It’s a two-way street, not just about what he can get out of the relationship.

Being there for someone is part of a healthy relationship, but it shouldn’t feel like you’re being taken advantage of. 

Love should be about mutual support and caring, not just using someone whenever it’s convenient.

9. He Rarely Talks About the Future

A guy who genuinely loves you will want to talk about the future. 

He’ll be excited to make plans, discuss goals, and imagine the life you can build together. 

On the other hand, if he dodges questions about future plans or keeps things vague, he might not be as invested as he seems.

Picture this: every time you bring up things like future vacations or even next weekend’s plans, he changes the subject or laughs it off. It’s not that he’s busy or distracted; he just doesn’t see you in his future. 

Real love includes thinking ahead, planning together, and being part of each other’s lives long-term.

A loving relationship should feel like it’s moving forward, not standing still. 

You deserve someone who’s excited to build a future with you, not someone who keeps the relationship stuck in the present with no direction.

10. He’s Overly Secretive

Privacy is important, but being overly secretive can be a red flag. A partner who loves you should be willing to share parts of his life openly. 

Constantly hiding his phone, being vague about where he’s been, or never sharing anything personal can make you feel like an outsider in your own relationship.

Maybe he always steps out of the room to take calls or won’t let you know simple things like who he’s hanging out with. This kind of secrecy creates a wall between you two. 

A guy who genuinely cares should make you feel included, not like he’s hiding something.

Everyone needs a bit of personal space, but there’s a difference between that and being closed off. 

Real love means openness and trust, not always keeping you guessing or in the dark.