12 Signs He’s Keeping His Options Open

When you’re getting to know someone new, it’s important to understand how committed they are to the relationship. 

Sometimes, it might feel like the person you’re dating isn’t fully sure about being with you exclusively. They might still be looking at other possibilities, which can be confusing and hurtful.

This article discusses 12 signs that the person you’re dating might not be fully committed and could be keeping their options open. 

Recognizing these signs can help you figure out where you stand and what you might want to do next.

It’s important to remember that relationships should be based on trust and mutual respect. 

If you notice several of these signs in your relationship, it might be time to have an open conversation with your partner about your feelings and expectations.

1. He’s vague about future plans

Sometimes, you might notice that he doesn’t make clear plans with you. 

He may talk about getting together “sometime next week” but won’t pin down an actual day or time. 

This can be a sign that he’s not fully committing his time to you because he’s keeping his options open, waiting to see if something “better” comes up.

Another thing you might see is that he avoids making long-term plans. 

For instance, if you talk about an event a few months away, he might change the subject or give non-committal answers like “We’ll see.” 

His hesitancy could suggest he’s not sure he wants to commit that far ahead with you.

2. He’s secretive about his phone

Notice how he acts with his phone. 

Does he keep it away from you, or maybe he turns it face down when you’re around? 

This might mean he’s not quite open about who he’s talking to. People who are open about their relationships tend to be more relaxed about sharing their digital interactions.

Another clue is how he reacts if you happen to glance at his phone. He might snatch it away quickly or seem nervous. 

This behavior often shows that he’s got conversations or connections he prefers you not to know about, which might indicate he’s not fully invested in just you.

[Also Read: When Someone Constantly Breaks Up With You: Reasons And What To Do]

3. He communicates sporadically

You might see that his texting or calling patterns are all over the place. Some days, he’s all into chatting with you, and sending messages regularly. 

Then suddenly, he might go quiet, not replying to your texts for hours or even days. This inconsistency can be a sign he’s juggling his attention between multiple interests.

Also, pay attention to the timing of his messages. If he often texts late at night or only during certain times, it might be because he’s fitting you into gaps in his other schedules. 

Reliable, committed communication tends to be more evenly spread out and predictable.

4. He avoids introducing you to friends and family

When a guy is serious about you, he’ll be eager to show you off to his friends and family. 

If he avoids this, like skipping over opportunities to introduce you at events or when you run into someone he knows, it’s possible he’s not looking at the relationship as long-term.

Along with this, if he rarely, if ever, brings up stories about friends or family, or changes the subject when they come up, it might mean he’s keeping his personal life compartmentalized. 

This way, he avoids deepening connections that are typical of exclusive relationships.

5. He doesn’t make you a priority

Have you ever noticed that your plans together often seem like a last-minute thought? 

Maybe he calls you to hang out only after his other plans fall through. 

That kind of behavior might show that he doesn’t see your time together as a top priority. 

He seems to fit you into his schedule only when it’s convenient for him, not because he really values your company.

And then there’s how he treats important events in your life. Let’s say you have a big game or an award ceremony. 

If he rarely shows up or seems to forget about these dates often, it suggests he might not be as invested in your life as you’d like him to be.

[Related: 10 Strong Signs A Guy Has Commitment Issues]

6. He keeps his personal life under wraps

Ever notice how little you know about the details of his daily life? 

For example, you might not know much about his hobbies, what he does after work, or even his favorite hangouts. 

People who are excited about a relationship tend to share these details naturally. 

Keeping things vague about personal habits or how he spends his time might mean he’s not ready to let you into his life fully.

Also, think about how much you know about his past or his thoughts on important topics. 

Does he dodge questions about his previous relationships or his future goals? When someone is serious, they’re usually more open to discussing their history and dreams.

7. He often changes his mood around you

A big sign to watch out for is how unpredictable his mood can be. 

One minute he might be all smiles and laughter with you, and the next he’s distant and distracted. 

This rollercoaster can indicate he’s not fully at ease in the relationship, potentially because he’s not sure about committing fully.

Moreover, check how he reacts to disagreements or plans changing. Does he get unusually upset or withdraw quickly? 

These reactions could hint at him not being comfortable with the natural ups and downs that come with a close relationship.

8. He mentions other people often

Does he talk a lot about other people he meets or spends time with? 

Maybe he mentions a coworker or a friend you’ve never met too often. 

Bringing up other people frequently might be his way of subtly showing that he has other interactions that are as significant to him as the relationship with you.

Another angle is how he talks about these people. Is he comparing you to them, even if indirectly? 

Say, pointing out how fun someone else is or how they share his interests. This can be his way of keeping his emotional options open, maintaining a safe distance from committing more deeply with you.

9. He avoids introducing you to friends or family

Sometimes a guy might not be ready to bring you into his close circle. 

Perhaps he’s hesitating to introduce you to his friends and family. This could be a sign that he’s not totally sure about the relationship yet. 

Keeping you separate from the important people in his life allows him to maintain a bit of distance.

Not being part of his wider social life can feel pretty isolating. It’s like he has a whole part of his life that you’re not getting to see. 

When someone is really into you and serious about where things are going, they’ll want to show you off to their loved ones and bring you into their world.

10. He keeps close touch with his female friends

Maintaining friendships is totally normal, but there can be a fine line. 

If he’s always chatting with other women and seems to prioritize them, it might be a red flag. 

Pay attention to how he talks about these friends and how much time he spends with them compared to you.

You deserve to feel like a priority. When someone is committed, they make sure their actions don’t make their partner feel second best. 

It’s all about balance. If his female friends always come first, or he’s constantly texting them, it could mean he’s keeping his options open.

11. He disappears every now and then

Everyone needs a little space sometimes, but vanishing acts aren’t part of a healthy relationship. 

When he just disappears without a word, it leaves you wondering what’s going on. This unpredictable behavior can make it hard to feel secure with him.

Imagine how confusing it would be if he’s all in one minute and gone the next. Consistency is key in any solid relationship. 

If he often goes missing in action, especially without explaining why, he might not be fully invested in what you two have together.

12. He avoids talking about commitment

Talking about the future is a big part of getting closer and planning together. 

But if he changes the subject every time commitment comes up, take note. Avoiding these discussions can mean he’s not ready to think about a long-term future with you.

You might notice that plans are always last-minute or not too far ahead. This keeps things casual, which might be exactly what he wants if he’s not ready to commit. 

Being upfront about where you stand is important. If he’s shying away from these talks, he might be unsure about settling down.