12 Vital Questions To Ask Before Starting A Long Distance Relationship 

Starting a long-distance relationship can be exciting but also a bit scary. 

You’re about to embark on a journey where you and your partner are physically apart, yet trying to stay emotionally connected. 

It’s not the usual way to date someone, and it comes with its own set of challenges.

To make a long-distance relationship work, communication is key. You both need to talk openly about your expectations, feelings, and fears. 

It’s important to lay everything out on the table right from the start. That way, you can tackle any issues together and strengthen your bond despite the miles between you.

Before diving into a relationship like this, there are some critical questions you should consider. 

These questions will help you understand if you and your partner are ready for long-distance love.

1. What are our communication expectations?

Setting up expectations for how often and through what means you will talk can make a big difference in keeping a long-distance relationship healthy. 

For example, are you someone who likes texting throughout the day? Or maybe you prefer a video chat at the end of the day to catch up on everything. 

Knowing what you both expect in terms of communication frequency and style can help avoid feelings of neglect or frustration.

Remember, long-distance can be tough on communication. You might be in different time zones, which makes syncing your schedules important. 

Agree on a routine that fits both your lifestyles. Perhaps you could plan a morning email or a nightly call. 

A clear plan helps everyone know what to expect, making it easier to feel connected despite the miles.

2. How do we handle visits?

Visits are the highlights of any long-distance relationship, so it’s crucial to discuss how you’ll manage them. 

Talk about how often you both can visit each other. Is traveling possible given your budgets and schedules? 

Also, discuss who visits whom or if you’ll meet somewhere in the middle. These conversations can help set realistic expectations and prevent disappointments later on.

Costs can add up quickly with travel, so it’s smart to plan who will bear the expenses or how you’ll split them. 

Maybe setting aside a mutual budget for visits can ease the financial stress. Planning also keeps the excitement alive, as there’s always a next meeting to look forward to. 

Plus, rotating who travels can keep the burden from falling too heavily on one person.

3. What’s our end goal?

Understanding what you both ultimately want out of the relationship is key. 

Are you both seeing this as a temporary phase with a clear plan to eventually live in the same city? 

Knowing your relationship’s endgame can provide motivation and a sense of purpose. Without a mutual goal, long-distance relationships can start to feel endless and aimless.

Talk openly about where you see the relationship going. Are there plans for one of you to move eventually? 

Discussing these steps can sometimes be tricky, but it’s better to be honest about your future plans. 

A shared vision for the future helps both partners stay aligned and committed, making the challenges of distance feel more manageable.

4. How do we handle conflicts?

Dealing with disagreements when you can’t talk face-to-face can be tricky. You should agree on how you’ll manage arguments before they happen. 

Maybe you both decide that no matter the disagreement, you’ll always say goodnight on a positive note. 

Finding a way to resolve conflicts without holding grudges is crucial since you can’t just make up over a coffee the next day.

Sometimes, messages can be misunderstood. A text might not carry the right tone, and an email might seem too formal. 

Agreeing to pick up the phone or start a video chat when a text conversation gets heated can prevent a lot of misunderstandings. 

Clear communication is super important; it’s easy to feel the distance grow if frustrations build up.

5. How do we keep things interesting?

Keeping the spark alive from afar means getting creative. You could watch a movie together while video chatting or start reading the same book. 

Maybe even play online games against each other. It’s all about sharing experiences even when you’re apart, which helps strengthen your bond and makes you feel closer.

Surprises also go a long way. Sending a care package or planning a surprise visit can make your partner’s day. 

Little acts of kindness and thoughtfulness show you care and keep the excitement in the relationship. 

Being spontaneous isn’t just fun; it reminds you both why you’re doing this in the first place.

6. How do we support each other’s individual growth?

Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean personal growth should take a back seat. 

Encouraging each other to pursue personal goals and hobbies can actually strengthen your relationship. 

Maybe your partner wants to take a cooking class or you’re interested in learning a new language. Supporting these individual pursuits shows you care about their happiness and fulfillment.

Also, check in on each other’s progress and celebrate achievements, no matter how small. 

Whether it’s a successful project at work or just sticking to a workout routine, showing interest and excitement in what your partner accomplishes builds a strong, supportive relationship. 

You grow together by growing individually.

7. Are we prepared for the emotional challenges?

Understanding that long-distance relationships can be emotionally tough is important. 

You might feel lonely sometimes, or maybe even a bit jealous when your partner is out having fun. Talk about these feelings openly instead of letting them simmer.

Set up a support system, maybe friends or family who understand what you’re going through. 

Also, keep yourself busy and engaged in your own life. Having a fulfilling life outside of your relationship not only helps you cope with the loneliness but also makes you a more interesting partner. 

Remember, being honest about your feelings helps prevent misunderstandings and builds trust.

8. Do you trust each other enough to do long distance?

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, especially when you can’t always be together. 

You should feel confident that your partner will stick to their word and be faithful, just as they should trust you. 

Talk about what trust means to both of you and how you can build it. Maybe it’s about being open with your feelings or always being honest about where you are and who you’re with.

Not having trust can make things really stressful. You might start questioning each other’s actions or feeling insecure. 

Make sure you’re both on the same page about keeping things honest and transparent. That way, you avoid unnecessary drama and keep your relationship strong.

9. How will you make it fun?

Long-distance doesn’t have to be all sighs and waiting. Look for ways to inject some fun into your relationship. 

Maybe start a friendly competition—see who can take the funniest photo of the day or who can make a stranger smile. You could also set challenges for each other, like trying new recipes or finding the coolest local hangout.

And don’t forget about surprising each other. Maybe send your favorite book for your partner to read, or order a pizza to be delivered to their place when you know they’ve had a tough day.

10. How long before you get together?

Setting a timeline can help make the distance seem more temporary. 

Talk about how long you both will likely be apart and what needs to happen for you to eventually live in the same place. 

Are we talking months, a year, or more? Knowing there’s a plan for eventually being together makes the present challenges more bearable.

Remember, having a countdown or a specific goal in sight can make it all feel more manageable. 

11. How do we handle jealousy?

Jealousy is a common challenge in long-distance relationships because you’re not part of your partner’s daily life. 

You might see pictures of them with other people on social media and feel left out or worried. 

Talk about these feelings instead of letting them grow into bigger problems. Sharing your feelings can help you manage them together.

Creating boundaries and guidelines about what’s okay can also help manage jealousy. Maybe you both agree to share your plans for the night or introduce each other to new friends. 

Keeping each other in the loop can reduce misunderstandings and help you feel more connected.

12. How do we balance our time?

Balancing time between your relationship and the rest of your life is key. You might be tempted to spend every free moment on the phone or online chatting with your partner. 

But remember, you both need time for friends, family, and hobbies. Talk about how you’ll balance relationship time with personal time so neither of you feels overwhelmed or neglected.

Planning your week can help. Maybe you agree on certain days or times to connect, leaving the rest of your schedule open for other activities. 

Staying well-rounded makes your conversations more interesting and keeps your relationship fresh and exciting.