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Deal breakers are big no-nos that can make it tough for a relationship to be healthy and happy.
These could be things like someone not respecting your space, lying, or not putting in as much effort as you do.
When these issues pop up, they can make you feel sad, frustrated, or even alone, even when you’re with someone.
In this article, we’ll go through 15 deal breakers you should watch out for.
Understanding these can help you figure out if your relationship is on the right track or if some serious issues need addressing.
Remember, knowing what doesn’t work for you is just as important as knowing what does!
1. Lack of Respect
When someone consistently undermines your feelings or thoughts, it’s a big red flag.
A relationship thrives on mutual respect. If you find your partner dismisses your opinions or ridicules your feelings, that’s not just rude—it chips away at your self-esteem.
You might start to feel less confident or even question your own thoughts. Relationships should make you feel supported and valued, not small and insignificant.
Respect also extends to boundaries. Whether it’s about personal space, how you spend your time, or your physical body, your partner should honor your limits.
Disrespecting these boundaries shows a lack of consideration for what you’re comfortable with.
For example, a partner who pushes you to spend every moment together or dismisses your need for alone time is overlooking your personal needs, which is definitely not okay.
2. Dishonesty
Honesty is the foundation of any strong relationship. When lies start creeping into the equation, trust begins to crumble.
Even small lies can be a warning sign. Imagine finding out your partner lied about hanging out with someone or hiding financial issues—these aren’t just minor problems.
They can lead to bigger trust issues that might make you doubt everything else in the relationship.
When trust is broken, it’s really hard to rebuild. You start to wonder about other things they might be hiding or lying about.
Over time, this constant doubt can be exhausting and hurtful.
[Also Read: 5 Signs You May Be Forcing A Relationship That Isn’t Right For You]
3. Different Life Goals
When you’re planning a future together, your major goals need to align.
For instance, if you dream of traveling the world and living in different countries, but your partner is set on staying in their hometown forever, that’s a pretty big mismatch.
These aren’t just small preferences that can be adjusted; they’re about the life you both envision for yourselves.
Compromise is a part of any relationship, but there are some things you just can’t compromise on without one person feeling unfulfilled.
If your core life ambitions are at odds, it can lead to feelings of resentment or regret later down the line.
It’s tough, but sometimes loving each other isn’t enough if your visions for the future don’t match up.
4. Constant Negativity
Everyone has bad days, but if someone is always negative, it can really bring you down.
Imagine your partner is always complaining, never happy, or always expects the worst outcome; that kind of energy is tough to be around.
It doesn’t just make your day worse; it can make you start seeing things negatively too. Relationships should lift you up, not leave you feeling drained.
Negativity goes beyond just having a bad attitude. It can include always criticizing everything you do, from the way you cook to the clothes you wear.
This constant critique can make you feel like you’re never good enough.
A good partner should make you feel appreciated, not constantly judged.
5. Lack of Emotional Support
Feeling alone even when you’re with someone can be really tough.
Say you’re dealing with something tough, like a bad day at school or trouble with friends, and your partner doesn’t seem to care or offer any support.
That can leave you feeling isolated. Sharing emotions and supporting each other is what makes a relationship strong.
You might notice they never ask about your day or how you’re feeling. Or during tough times, they seem distant or uninterested.
That’s a sign they might not be emotionally invested in the relationship.
You deserve someone who is there for you not just during the fun times, but especially when things get hard.
[Related: 10 Long Distance Relationship Red Flags]
6. Overdependence
Having someone want you around is nice, but too much dependence can feel overwhelming.
Suppose your partner needs you to make every decision for them, from what to have for dinner to how to handle a problem at work.
That’s a lot of pressure on you. A healthy relationship involves both people being able to stand on their own two feet.
Moreover, if your partner relies solely on you for their happiness, it can feel like a big weight to carry.
You might feel like you can’t take time for yourself without upsetting them.
Independence is key in both partners; it means you’re together because you want to be, not because you need to be.
7. Refusing to Apologize
Everyone makes mistakes, right? But imagine your partner never admits they’re wrong or says sorry.
That can make arguments last way longer than they need to. Acknowledging mistakes and apologizing shows maturity and that they care about the relationship more than their ego.
A partner who refuses to apologize might keep justifying their actions or blaming you instead. This behavior can make you feel ignored and undervalued.
Being able to say sorry—and mean it—is crucial for resolving conflicts and moving forward together. Without that, small issues can turn into big problems over time.
8. Not Having Much in Common
Picture hanging out with someone who doesn’t share any of your interests. You love movies; they’d rather read a book.
You’re into sports, and they’ve never watched a game. At first, differences can be interesting, but over time, having little in common can make it hard to enjoy things together.
You might find yourself doing activities alone or wishing they’d join in on your fun.
Relationships grow stronger when you share experiences and hobbies.
Sure, you don’t have to like all the same things, but common interests make it easier to connect and have fun together.
Without these shared moments, you might start to feel more like roommates than a couple.
9. Disregarding Your Boundaries
Imagine telling someone you need a bit of space or you’re not ready to talk about something, and they ignore that request.
That’s them crossing a line you’ve set. Everyone has their own comfort levels, and a good partner respects that.
Forcing you to do things you’re not comfortable with or pushing you into decisions is not okay.
When someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, it shows a lack of understanding and care.
You deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your relationship, not pressured or overwhelmed.
A partner who truly cares will honor your limits and work with you to ensure you both feel respected.
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10. Lies
Catch your partner in a lie, and you’ll start to wonder what else isn’t true.
Maybe they lied about where they were last night or who they were with.
Small lies might seem harmless at first, but they add up and lead to bigger trust issues. Trust is like a stack of cards; pull one out, and the whole thing can fall apart.
Once you catch a lie, doubts creep in, and you might find yourself double-checking their stories or questioning their motives.
A relationship should be built on trust, where both people can rely on each other’s honesty. Lies erode that foundation, making it hard to feel secure with each other.
11. Secrets
Keeping secrets goes hand in hand with lying but think of it as holding back parts of your life.
Maybe they keep quiet about their past or are secretive about their phone. Secrets create barriers between people.
You might feel you’re only getting to know part of who they really are, which can make you feel disconnected and distant.
Openness is key in any healthy relationship. You should feel like you can share things with your partner without judgement.
Holding back important details can make it seem like they don’t trust you or perhaps they have something to hide.
Either way, secrets make it hard to connect and build a life together fully.
12. Over-critical Behavior
Imagine you’re trying your best at something new, and the person you’re with keeps pointing out every little mistake.
It’s not much fun, right?
Constant criticism can make you feel like you’re not good enough, no matter how hard you try.
In a relationship, you expect your partner to be your cheerleader, not someone who constantly finds fault.
Being overly critical can really mess with your confidence. You might start to doubt your abilities or feel anxious about trying new things.
Support from a partner should make you feel capable and valued, not the opposite.
13. Unwillingness to Compromise
Think about a time you and a friend wanted different things, but you met in the middle so you both were a bit happy.
Now, imagine a partner who never does this. They always want things their way, whether it’s choosing a movie or making big life decisions.
That can make you feel like what you want doesn’t really matter.
Compromise isn’t about giving up what you want all the time; it’s about both people bending a bit so everyone feels good about the outcome.
A partner who refuses to compromise can make a relationship feel one-sided and unfair.
14. Avoidance of Serious Conversations
Say a problem or a big decision is coming up, and every time you try to talk about it, the other person changes the subject or says they don’t want to talk about it right now.
Avoiding serious conversations means problems don’t get solved. It can leave you feeling frustrated and stuck.
Being able to talk about tough stuff is important in a relationship. You solve problems and make plans by discussing them.
A partner who avoids these talks is not helping to build a strong foundation for the future. You need someone who can face issues head on with you.
15. Lack of Effort
Now, imagine you’re always the one making plans, reaching out, and trying to keep things interesting.
It feels like you’re doing all the work, right?
A relationship should be a team effort, with both people putting in the energy to make it great.
If only one person is trying, it can become exhausting.
You deserve someone who puts in as much effort as you do. This means planning dates, checking in on how you’re feeling, and being present in the relationship.
Feeling like you’re in it alone is a sign that the balance is off.
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