15 Signs Of Narcissistic Behavior In A Relationship 

Narcissistic behavior can make relationships really difficult because it tends to focus more on one person’s needs while ignoring the other’s. 

A narcissist often wants to be the star of the show and may not pay much attention to their partner’s feelings or needs. 

This can lead to one person feeling less important or ignored, which isn’t how a healthy relationship should work. 

Relationships thrive on mutual respect and understanding, but with a narcissist, this balance often gets thrown off.

In this article, we’ll explore 15 signs that could indicate narcissistic behavior in a relationship.

Understanding narcissistic behaviors can help you recognize if they’re happening in your relationship. It’s not always easy to spot these behaviors because they can be hidden behind nice gestures or charming words. 

But over time, certain patterns start to show, and they can affect how you feel about yourself and your relationship.

1. Self-Centered Conversations

Ever noticed how some people always steer the conversation back to themselves, no matter the topic? 

That’s a classic sign you might be dealing with narcissistic behavior in a relationship. 

Someone showing this trait often dominates discussions and minimizes your thoughts or feelings, making everything about them. 

They love the spotlight and ensure the focus remains on their achievements, struggles, or interests.

In contrast, they rarely show genuine interest in your life’s details. If you start talking about your day or a problem you’re facing, the conversation quickly flips back to them. It’s as though your experiences don’t hold the same weight or importance. 

2. Lack of Empathy

Understanding and sharing someone else’s feelings is crucial in any healthy relationship. 

However, a lack of empathy is often seen in those who exhibit narcissistic tendencies. They struggle to put themselves in your shoes or show concern for your emotions. 

For example, you might find yourself upset or needing support, and rather than comforting you, they seem detached or annoyed by your distress.

Furthermore, they might downplay your feelings or criticize you for being sensitive or overreactive. This response can be pretty jarring because it not only dismisses your emotions but can also make you second-guess your feelings. 

Such interactions are often disheartening and can make you feel isolated within the relationship.

3. Manipulative Behavior

Have you ever felt like you’re being subtly controlled or pushed to think a certain way? 

Manipulation is a tool frequently found in the narcissist’s arsenal. They might use guilt, flattery, or gaslighting to influence your decisions and actions. 

Gaslighting, for example, is a manipulation technique where they make you question your reality, memory, or perceptions, making you doubt yourself while they gain the upper hand.

Moreover, these tactics are not always overt and can be woven seamlessly into your interactions, making them hard to spot. 

You might find yourself doing things you wouldn’t normally agree to or accepting blame for things you know aren’t your fault. 

Recognizing these patterns can be tough, but it’s crucial for maintaining your sense of self and boundaries.

[Read: To Every Girl Who Has Ever Lost Herself To A Narcissistic Man]

4. Constant Need for Admiration and Validation

Narcissists have an insatiable appetite for admiration and validation. They crave constant praise and approval from others, and your relationship is no exception. 

You might notice that they fish for compliments or become visibly upset if they’re not the center of attention or if they feel underappreciated.

Additionally, they may react negatively to criticism or even constructive feedback. Instead of taking it in stride, they might respond with defensiveness or lash out. 

This need for constant affirmation can strain a relationship, as it demands that you keep boosting their ego, often at the expense of your emotional well-being.

5. Jealousy Over Your Successes

Narcissists often struggle to celebrate others’ successes, especially if they feel it overshadows their own. 

So, let’s say you get a promotion or win an award. Instead of cheering you on, a person with narcissistic traits might downplay your achievements or even get jealous. 

Rather than feeling happy, they could turn the focus back to themselves or dismiss the importance of your accomplishments. This can make sharing good news with them less exciting and more of a chore, as their reaction might always be unpredictable.

On top of that, their jealousy isn’t limited to big events; it can show up in daily situations. 

Maybe you’re just having a good day or you received some praise from a friend. You might notice that instead of being happy for you, they seem sullen or find a way to make your good news about them. 

Dealing with this regularly can make the relationship feel competitive rather than supportive.

6. Refusal to Accept Responsibility

Admitting mistakes isn’t a strong suit for someone with narcissistic tendencies. Often, they will go out of their way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. 

Let’s say something goes wrong because of something they did. Rather than owning up, they find someone or something else to blame. 

You might hear excuses or they might outright deny that they did anything wrong, even if the evidence is clear.

Besides making excuses, they might also twist the truth so it sounds like they’re always the victim. 

This can be frustrating because it prevents any real discussion about problems and stops the relationship from growing. It’s like trying to solve a puzzle with someone who keeps hiding the pieces.

7. Unrealistic Expectations

Setting the bar unrealistically high for what they expect from you is another red flag. 

A narcissist might demand that you meet their needs all the time, no matter how unreasonable these demands might be. 

For instance, they might insist that you spend all your free time with them, or expect you to put their needs before your own always, without considering your personal boundaries or commitments.

This can be really draining because you’re always trying to reach an impossible standard. It’s like they want you to be a superhero who’s always at their beck and call, which isn’t fair or feasible. 

Over time, these expectations can make you feel like you’re never good enough, no matter how hard you try.

8. Rapid Mood Swings

Ever feel like you’re on a rollercoaster with how quickly their mood changes? 

One minute everything seems fine, and the next, they’re upset or angry—sometimes, you might not even know what set them off. 

These mood swings can be hard to keep up with and might leave you walking on eggshells, trying to avoid setting off a bad mood.

These rapid changes can make the relationship feel unstable. You’re constantly trying to adjust to their moods and may find yourself worrying about what kind of day it’s going to be with them. 

It’s tough to feel relaxed and safe in a relationship that feels so unpredictable.

9. Constant Criticism

Someone showing narcissistic behavior might often pick at your flaws, no matter how small they are. 

Imagine you’re doing something as simple as making dinner or choosing a movie to watch. 

A narcissist might criticize your choices or say you’re doing things wrong. This constant critique can be really tiring and can make you feel like you’re always under a microscope, judged for every little thing you do.

The harsh comments aren’t just about what you do; they can also be about who you are. 

Maybe they make fun of your interests or the way you dress, which can really hurt. 

Over time, this kind of negative talk can chip away at your self-esteem and make you doubt your worth.

10. Projecting Their Feelings

Narcissists often deal with their own insecurities by projecting them onto others. 

For instance, if they’re feeling guilty or inadequate, they might accuse you of these very feelings. 

Let’s say they’re being dishonest in some way; suddenly, you might find yourself being questioned about your honesty. This flipping of blame not only confuses you but also creates a smokescreen for their own issues.

Projection can turn serious discussions into confusing battles. You might feel like you’re always on the defensive, accused of things you didn’t do or feel. 

It’s exhausting to be constantly defending yourself against accusations that don’t fit.

11. Ignoring Your Boundaries

Respecting personal boundaries is key in any healthy relationship. But a person with narcissistic traits often ignores these limits. 

They might call you at hours when you’ve said you’re busy or show up uninvited when you need space. 

Their actions say loud and clear that your boundaries aren’t as important as what they want at the moment.

Also, they might push you to share more than you’re comfortable with or insist on decisions that you’d rather not make. 

This disregard can make you feel disrespected and overpowered, as though your feelings and needs are always in second place.

12. Using Emotional Blackmail

Emotional blackmail is a common tactic. This means they might use your feelings to get what they want. 

Suppose you decide to spend a day with friends. A narcissist might guilt you by saying something like, “You’d stay if you really cared about me.” 

Suddenly, you’re feeling terrible for simply wanting time with others.

Using guilt, obligations, or even threats to control your actions shows a lack of respect and care for your feelings. 

It’s manipulative and can make you feel trapped, like you have to constantly prove your loyalty and love, which isn’t fair to you.

13. Love Bombing at the Start

At the beginning of a relationship, a narcissist might shower you with attention and affection, which is often called love bombing. 

Imagine getting lots of compliments, gifts, and promises for the future that seem too good to be true. 

While this can feel exciting, it’s often a way for narcissists to win you over quickly and deeply. 

This intense adoration can shift dramatically once they feel they have your commitment; then, the attention might decrease or stop altogether.

This sudden change can leave you confused and anxious, trying to regain their affection and wondering what went wrong. 

This cycle can be a rollercoaster, with highs of intense attention followed by lows of neglect or cold behavior.

14. Overreacting to Criticism

Even mild criticism can make a narcissist extremely defensive. Imagine simply suggesting a better way to do something or offering gentle feedback. 

Instead of considering your perspective, they might react as if you’ve deeply insulted them. 

This overreaction can shut down any chance of constructive conversation and might even lead to arguments or emotional outbursts.

Dealing with such sensitivity to criticism can make you hesitant to speak up in the future, limiting honest communication. 

Feeling like you have to tiptoe around someone to avoid upsetting them is no way to build a healthy relationship.

15. Rarely Saying Sorry

Saying sorry when you’ve made a mistake is a simple way to show you care about someone else’s feelings. 

However, for narcissists, admitting they’re wrong isn’t easy. Even when it’s clear they’ve made a mistake, they might avoid apologizing or acknowledging their error. 

You might notice that even when they do say sorry, it feels insincere or comes with an excuse that shifts the blame away from them.

This resistance to apologizing can prevent many issues from being resolved, making it hard for you to feel valued and heard. 

A relationship without genuine apologies lacks a foundation of trust and mutual respect, which are key for any lasting connection.