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Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you’re the one putting in all the effort in a relationship. 

You might feel like you’re always the one making plans, starting conversations, and trying to keep things going smoothly. 

It’s important to recognize these signs because they can tell you a lot about how balanced your relationship is.

No one likes to feel like they are chasing after someone else. It can make you feel unappreciated and can even make the relationship feel a bit lonely. 

That’s why it’s good to know what to look out for. If you find yourself always doing the work to keep the connection alive, it might be time to reconsider how things are going.

This article will talk about 15 signs that show you might be the one who’s doing most of the chasing. 

By understanding these signs, you can make better decisions about your relationships and ensure that you feel valued and happy.

1. You’re Always the First to Text

Ever noticed that your phone is always the one sending the first message? 

When you’re the one always kicking off conversations, it might be a clue that you’re doing most of the chasing. 

This doesn’t just mean texts either—it can be calls, emails, or any form of communication. Initiating contact all the time can feel like you’re putting in more effort to keep the connection alive.

In relationships or friendships, it’s normal to expect some back-and-forth. You text, then he texts, and it goes on like that. 

But, if your inbox is full of your own “Hey, how’s it going?” without an equal number of replies, you’re probably putting in more work than he is. This imbalance might make you feel a bit uneasy or even ignored at times.

2. Your Plans Are Often Last Minute

When he wants to hang out, are you suddenly dropping your plans to see him? 

That’s another sign you might be chasing him. Someone who values your time will plan ahead to make sure you’re available. 

But if you find yourself always adjusting your schedule for last-minute invites, it might indicate that your time isn’t being valued as much as it should be.

Think about how it feels to always be on standby, waiting for him to decide when he’s free. It’s not just about being flexible; it’s about respect. 

True connections are built on mutual respect, where both people make an effort to accommodate each other’s schedules. 

When it’s one-sided, it can make you feel less important.

3. You’re More into His Life Than He Is into Yours

Do you find yourself always asking about his day, his dreams, or his problems? It’s great to show interest in someone’s life. 

However, a healthy relationship requires interest from both sides. 

If you’re the one always asking and sharing, and he rarely asks about your day or supports your dreams, it’s worth taking a second look at the balance in your relationship.

It can be really draining to feel like you’re more invested in someone’s life than they are in yours. 

Everyone wants to feel valued and understood by their partners. When you’re constantly giving more than you receive, it might not just leave you feeling exhausted—it can also lead you to question the depth of the other person’s feelings toward you.

[Also Read: 15 Signs He Doesn’t Deserve You Anymore]

4. You Feel Anxious About the Relationship

Ever get that nagging feeling that you’re not quite sure where you stand with him? 

That’s common if you’re the one doing all the chasing. This uncertainty can make you feel anxious and insecure. 

Wondering whether he will call, or whether he cares as much as you do, can be tough.

Healthy relationships are built on stability and security, where both people know they are cared for and valued. 

Feeling anxious regularly about where you stand or what he feels is a sign that the relationship might not be as reciprocal as it should be. 

It’s important for your emotional well-being to be in a relationship where you feel secure and appreciated.

5. You Apologize Even When You Haven’t Done Anything Wrong

Sometimes, you might find yourself saying sorry a lot. 

You could be apologizing just to keep the peace or because you’re worried about his reaction to even the smallest issues. 

When you’re often the one making amends, it can signal that you’re trying too hard to make things work. 

Healthy relationships involve both people owning up to their mistakes, not just one person smoothing things over all the time.

Imagine always having to say sorry just to avoid a disagreement. That’s not really fair, right? 

Everyone deserves to be in a relationship where they can speak their mind without fear of the other person pulling away. 

Constantly apologizing can be exhausting and it’s a sign you might be more invested in maintaining the peace than he is.

[Interesting: 12 Signs He’s Just Taking Advantage Of Your Kindness]

6. Your Friends Notice You’re Always Talking About Him

Your buddies often have a clear view of what’s going on. 

So, let’s say your friends point out that you always talk about him, or they notice that you’re the one making all the effort. 

Friends can be pretty good at noticing when something’s off, especially if they see you’re not getting much in return. Listen to them! They’re probably onto something.

When your friends are telling you that you’re all in, and he’s not, it might sting a little, but it’s worth considering their perspective. 

A chat with them might open your eyes to how one-sided things have become. Sometimes you need that outside look to see things clearly.

7. You’re the One Always Giving Compliments

Giving compliments is a nice way to show affection, but have you noticed that you’re always the one dishing out the praises? 

If you’re always telling him how great he is, and compliments from him are rare, that’s a bit uneven. Everyone likes to hear good things about themselves, and it should go both ways.

Feeling like you’re in a cheerleading role can get pretty old if you’re not getting some of that positivity back. 

Relationships should lift both people up. If you’re the only one doing the lifting, you might start to feel a bit unappreciated or overlooked.

8. He Doesn’t Share Much About Himself

A big red flag is when you realize he’s pretty closed off about his personal life. 

You share your thoughts, your feelings, and what’s going on with you, but he keeps things vague. 

If someone is genuinely interested in building something with you, they’ll open up and share their world too.

Relationships grow stronger when both people let their guard down and get real with each other. 

Feeling like you’re always the one sharing can make the relationship feel pretty lopsided and might leave you wondering why he’s holding back.

9. You’re Always Trying to Impress Him

Are you constantly trying out new things just because you think he’ll like them? 

Whether it’s a new style, a hobby he’s into, or music he likes—it’s great to try new things, but not just to impress someone else. 

You should feel free to be yourself and know that he likes you just as you are.

Doing things just to catch his eye can be fun at first, but it’s not fun if that’s all your relationship is about. 

A good partner loves you for who you are, not just for the things you do to impress them.

10. You Feel Like You’re Not Enough

Might be subtle, but definitely a big one. Feeling like you have to prove your worth to keep him interested is a tough spot to be in. 

Maybe you’re constantly worried that you’re not enough just as you are, which can really wear you down.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel loved and valued, not someone who makes you doubt your worth. 

Remember, a relationship should make you feel good about yourself, adding to your happiness, not taking away from it.

11. You Make All the Effort to Meet

Think about the last few times you’ve seen each other. Did you travel to his side of town every time? 

Maybe you always pick the place, set the time, and make all the arrangements. 

Relationships should involve teamwork, not just one person making all the plans. When you’re always the one mapping out the details, it’s a sign you might be more invested.

Meeting halfway isn’t just about geography. It’s also about putting in equal effort so that neither feels taken for granted. 

A good balance means both people are eager to see each other and willing to make it work, no matter the logistics.

12. You Worry a Lot About Losing Him

Notice how often you feel scared about the idea of him walking away. This worry can make you act differently and even hide your true feelings just to keep things smooth. 

Being afraid to lose someone can cloud your judgment and lead you to accept less than you deserve.

Instead of worrying about him leaving, it’s healthier to focus on what makes you happy and whether you feel genuinely valued in the relationship. 

True love feels secure and comfortable, not anxious and unsettled.

13. You Always Agree with Him

Ever find yourself nodding along even when you disagree? 

Trying to avoid conflict by agreeing with everything he says can make it seem like you don’t have your own opinions. 

Healthy relationships need honest communication and respect for each other’s views.

Agreeing just to keep him happy won’t help build a real connection. It’s important to feel safe expressing your thoughts and beliefs. 

That way, both of you can get to know the real each other, not just the agreeable versions.

14. You Keep Checking Your Phone for His Messages

Here’s a simple one: How often do you check your phone hoping he’s messaged? 

When you’re always the one waiting for a text or call, it can feel like you’re more eager and attached than he is. 

Constantly checking your phone becomes a habit that might even disrupt your day.

Being in a balanced relationship means you can go about your day confidently, knowing he’ll reach out. You shouldn’t have to feel glued to your phone just to stay connected.

15. You Try Too Hard to Like What He Likes

Find yourself watching shows or playing games just because he loves them? 

It’s fun to share interests, but not so much when you’re only doing it to keep his attention. Your hobbies and passions are just as important as his.

Sharing your own interests with him is a way to teach each other something new. 

Remember, you both should want to learn about and from each other, not just have one person adapt to the other’s likes.

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Anita Oge

Meet Anita, a relationship writer with a passion for helping people navigate the complexities of love and dating. With a background in information science, she has a wealth of knowledge and insight to share. Her writing is sure to leave you feeling empowered and inspired.

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