15 Signs Your Partner Is A Control Freak

A control freak is someone who needs to have everything go their way. They try to control situations and people to make sure things turn out exactly as they want. 

While it might seem like they just care a lot or are very detail-oriented, it can actually become a big problem when one person always calls the shots in a relationship.

Being in a relationship with a control freak can make you feel like you’re losing a part of yourself. 

You might start to feel like you can’t make decisions on your own, or that your opinions aren’t important. This can be really tough because everyone deserves to feel valued and respected by their partner.

In this article, we’re going to talk about 15 signs that might suggest your partner is a control freak. 

Recognizing these signs can help you understand your relationship better and decide what you might want to do next.

1. Making Decisions for You

Sometimes, a control freak will try to make all the big and small decisions in your life. 

You might notice you’re not choosing what to wear, what to eat, or even which movie to watch anymore. 

Your partner could be taking over these choices because they feel the need to have power over everything.

You should feel like your opinions and desires matter. In a healthy relationship, both people have a say in decisions, from the trivial to the significant. 

But if your partner insists on deciding everything, from where you go to dinner to how you spend your free time, it can make you feel like you’re losing your independence.

2. Criticizing Your Choices

Criticism can be helpful when it’s meant to improve things. However, a partner who is always finding fault with your decisions might be exerting control. 

They might make you feel that you can’t do anything right, or that your choices are always wrong.

A good partner encourages you and makes you feel confident. If you find that your partner often belittles your ideas or choices in a way that makes you doubt yourself, it could be their way of keeping you under their control. 

Healthy relationships build you up; they don’t break you down.

3. Isolating You from Others

A common tactic of control freaks is to pull you away from your support network. 

You may find your partner making excuses for why you shouldn’t visit friends or family, or maybe they criticize the people you’re close to, making it uncomfortable for you to connect with them.

Feeling isolated can be really tough. Everyone needs to have connections outside of their romantic relationship. 

If your partner frequently tries to limit your interactions with others, it’s a red flag that they might be trying to gain more control over your life.

4. Constantly Checking on You

Does your partner always want to know where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing? 

While it’s normal for partners to show interest in each other’s lives, excessive monitoring is a sign of control. 

You might notice frequent texts or calls when you are not together, often asking for updates.

Everyone deserves privacy and trust in a relationship. Too much checking in can feel suffocating and is a sign that your partner might be trying to manage every aspect of your life. 

Trust is fundamental, and without it, you might feel like you’re constantly being watched or judged.

[Also Read: 7 Traits of an Extremely Insecure Partner]

5. Making You Doubt Yourself

Sometimes, control freaks use tactics that make you question your own thoughts and feelings. 

You might start to wonder if your memories are accurate or if your feelings are justified. 

This can be a subtle way they maintain control, as you become more dependent on them to define reality.

Feeling unsure about your own mind is not a normal part of a loving relationship. Confidence in your thoughts and feelings is crucial. 

If your partner regularly dismisses or doubts your perceptions, it’s a tactic to keep you off-balance and more easily controlled.

6. Overly Demanding of Your Time

Control freaks often want to monopolize your time. Your partner might get upset if you make plans that don’t include them, or they may insist on spending every moment together. 

While it’s nice to feel wanted, too much clinginess can be a sign of controlling behavior.

Remember, everyone needs a bit of space sometimes. Having separate hobbies, friends, and activities is healthy. 

If hanging out with others always results in a big argument or your partner making you feel guilty, that’s not fair to you. You should have the freedom to enjoy your time how you want.

7. Quick to Anger Over Small Things

Sometimes partners get angry—that’s normal. 

But watch out if your partner often loses their cool over minor issues, especially if they use their anger to pressure you into doing what they want. This can be a tactic to scare you into compliance.

You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells, worried about setting them off. In a loving relationship, you can talk things out without fear of an angry outburst. 

Being frequently scared of how your partner will react is a big warning sign.

8. Using Guilt as a Tool

Your partner might often make you feel guilty for things that aren’t your fault. They could blame you for things going wrong, or make you feel bad for not meeting their every need. 

Using guilt is a way for them to make you more likely to do what they want without questioning it.

Guilt can make you feel like you owe them something. You might start doing things just to keep the peace or make your partner happy, even if it means putting your own needs aside. 

Watch out for patterns where your partner makes you feel guilty to get their way.

9. Sudden Mood Changes

You might notice your partner’s mood can change very quickly. One minute they might be fine, and the next they could be extremely upset or very sweet after being mean. 

These sudden shifts can keep you unbalanced and unsure of what to expect.

Dealing with unpredictable behaviors can be stressful. It’s tough to feel relaxed and safe when you’re always unsure about what kind of mood your partner will be in. 

Everyone deserves to feel secure and stable in their relationship, not constantly anxious about mood swings.

10. Keeping Score

Some control freaks keep a mental tally of everything they do for you. 

They remind you about it often, especially when they want something from you. “Remember when I did that favor for you?” is something you might hear a lot.

Healthy relationships aren’t about keeping score. They’re about giving freely and caring for each other without expecting something in return every time. 

If your partner keeps track of everything they do for you as a way to make you feel indebted, that’s not a sign of genuine kindness.

11. Unwilling to Compromise

Compromise is key in any relationship. You give a little here, and they give a little there. But a control freak often refuses to budge. 

You might find yourself always doing what your partner wants, even if it’s not what you prefer or it makes you uncomfortable.

No one should always have to be the one giving in. Relationships work best when both people can meet in the middle sometimes. 

If you notice that you’re always the one adjusting your wants and needs, it might be time to rethink how balanced your relationship is.

12. Excessive Criticism Over Your Appearance

A partner who constantly comments on how you look, from your clothes to your hair, might be trying to control how you present yourself to the world. 

They may say they’re just trying to help you look your best, but really, they’re imposing their own preferences on you.

Feeling good about how you look is important. You should be able to wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident without worrying about criticism. 

A partner who supports you will make you feel great just as you are, not make you feel insecure or scrutinized.

13. Overly Protective or Jealous

Jealousy is sometimes seen as a sign of love, but too much can be suffocating. 

A controlling partner might frame their jealousy as just being protective or caring a lot about you. 

You might find them getting upset if you spend time with other people or accuse you of things you haven’t done.

Having the freedom to interact with friends and colleagues without feeling guilty is crucial. 

You deserve to have relationships with others without having to justify or explain yourself. A partner who trusts you won’t need to keep tabs on every interaction you have.

14. Financial Control

Managing money together can be part of a partnership, but a control freak might want to oversee all your financial decisions. 

They might want to control how you spend your money, or they might not share financial information with you, keeping you in the dark about where money goes.

Everyone should have some level of financial independence or at least a clear understanding of joint finances. 

Feeling like you can’t make purchases or access funds without permission isn’t healthy. Financial transparency and mutual decision-making are essential for a healthy relationship.

15. Refusal to Acknowledge Your Achievements

A controlling partner might downplay your successes or not celebrate your achievements. 

They might do this to keep you from feeling too confident or independent. You might notice that they shift the focus to themselves or ignore your accomplishments altogether.

Cheering each other on is part of what makes a relationship fun and supportive. You should feel like your partner is your biggest fan, not someone who makes you feel small or insignificant. 

Celebrating each other’s successes strengthens your bond and brings joy into the relationship.