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Controlling anger is one of the hardest things to do especially in the heat of the moment. It’s like trying to douse a raging fire with a single bucket of water. 

But here’s the catch – managing anger isn’t about squashing it down or pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s about understanding it, making space for it, and expressing it in a way that’s healthy, constructive, and respectful. 

And that, my friend, is an art! 

It’s a journey that requires patience, commitment, and a whole lot of self-compassion. In this article, we’ll explore eight effective ways to overcome anger. 

So, whether you’re struggling with anger yourself or just looking to expand your understanding, this article can be of help to you.

1. Understanding the Root Cause

Begin by understanding the root cause of your anger. Why are you angry? This might sound pretty straightforward, but it’s far from it. Often, we think we know why we’re upset, but in reality, the reasons run much deeper.

For instance, it’s not uncommon to blame external factors for our feelings. A traffic jam, a missed deadline, or an unexpected expense can easily send us over the edge. 

But these are just triggers, not the true causes. Behind the scenes, it could be stress, anxiety, or past experiences that make us susceptible to these triggers.

Isn’t it fascinating how much lies beneath the surface of our emotions? So, next time you find yourself in the grip of anger, take a moment. Breathe in, breathe out, and ask yourself, “What’s really causing my anger?”

2. Practicing Mindfulness

ways to overcome anger

When it comes to managing anger, practicing mindfulness is like having an ace up your sleeve.

Now, mindfulness isn’t about transforming into a Zen master overnight. It’s about becoming aware of our feelings and reactions. Imagine this. 

You’re driving home after a long day, and someone cuts you off in traffic. What’s your first reaction? Probably anger, right?

But what if, instead of letting anger take the wheel, you simply acknowledged it? Noted it as a feeling that’s come to visit, without letting it define you. 

That’s mindfulness. And the more you practice it, the more you’ll be able to respond rather than react to anger-inducing situations.

3. Deep Breathing Techniques

In anger management, deep breathing techniques are like superheroes coming to the rescue. How does that work, you ask? Let’s break it down.

When anger kicks in, your body prepares for a ‘fight or flight’ response. Your heart rate increases, your blood pressure rises, and your muscles tense up. Deep breathing counters these effects by triggering a relaxation response.

Inhale deeply through your nose, let your belly fill with air, hold for a few seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Simple as that. It’s like hitting the ‘pause’ button on your anger, giving you a moment to think and react more rationally.

4. Expressing Yourself Calmly

Different ways to deal with anger

We’ve all been there. When we’re very angry, all we want to do is scream. It’s normal. It’s human. But it’s also destructive. Here’s a thought: what if you could express your anger calmly?

It’s not about suppressing your feelings. It’s about communicating your emotions in a non-threatening, respectful way. This approach takes a bucket-load of patience and a spoonful of courage.

Start by calmly explaining why you’re upset. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. Say, “I feel frustrated when…” instead of “You always…”. 

And remember, it’s about the issue at hand, not the person. Avoid bringing up past arguments or grievances.

5. Staying Away from Stimulants

Caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol may feel like they offer a quick fix, but they can actually exacerbate your anger.

Stimulants can cause anxiety and disrupt your sleep, which in turn can make you more susceptible to anger. Plus, alcohol can lower inhibitions, making it harder to control your emotions.

So, maybe swapping that third cup of coffee for a herbal tea, or choosing a calming bedtime routine over a nightcap, could help in keeping that anger in check. It’s a small change, but it could make a big difference.

6. Seeking Professional Help

There’s no shame in reaching out for help. If your anger is causing distress to you or those around you, it might be time to consider seeking professional help.

Therapists, counselors, and psychologists are equipped with the tools and techniques to help you deal with anger in a healthy way. They can guide you in uncovering the underlying issues and can teach you strategies to manage your emotions.

It’s a brave step, and it’s okay to feel a little apprehensive. But remember, you’re not alone, and seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a testament to your strength and your commitment to self-improvement.

7. Practicing Forgiveness

Happy woman

Holding onto grudges is like carrying a heavy weight around. It wears you down and keeps the flames of anger burning. Practicing forgiveness, on the other hand, is like setting that weight down.

Of course, forgiveness isn’t about letting others off the hook or forgetting what they’ve done. It’s about freeing yourself from the bitterness and resentment that’s eating away at you. It’s a gift to yourself, a step towards peace and healing.

It’s hard, there’s no denying it. But the freedom that comes with forgiveness is worth it.

8. Exercise Regularly

You’ve heard it a million times, but let’s reiterate – exercise isn’t just good for your body, it’s excellent for your mind as well. When you’re fuming, a brisk walk, a vigorous bike ride, or even a quick set of push-ups can work wonders.

Why? Because exercise reduces the stress hormones – cortisol and adrenaline – that fuel anger. Simultaneously, it triggers the production of endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters.

Not to mention, engaging in regular physical activity is a great way to get some ‘me’ time, to decompress and regroup. So, if you’ve been neglecting your workout routine, now might be the perfect time to lace up those sneakers and get moving.


So there you have it – 8 ways to overcome anger. It’s not an exhaustive list, and it certainly won’t solve all your problems overnight. 

But it’s a start, a step in the right direction. Because managing anger isn’t about never getting angry. It’s about understanding, controlling, and expressing your anger in a healthier way.

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FAQs

1. How Long Does it Take to Manage Anger?

It varies. Like any other skill, managing anger effectively takes time and consistent practice. It’s not an overnight transformation. 

Depending on your personal circumstances and the intensity of your anger, it could take weeks, months, or even longer to notice significant changes.

Also, keep in mind that managing anger isn’t about never getting angry again. Anger is a natural human emotion and it’s okay to feel it. The goal is to express it in a healthier, more constructive way. 

So, don’t be disheartened if progress seems slow. It’s not about how quickly you can become anger-free, but about how you’re improving your reactions to anger triggers over time.

2. Is Anger Always a Bad Thing?

Contrary to popular belief, anger isn’t always a bad thing. It’s a basic human emotion, just like happiness, sadness, or fear. 

Sometimes, anger can serve a useful purpose. It can signal that something isn’t right, that you’ve been wronged, or that a boundary has been crossed. But it’s how you handle and express this anger that can be problematic. 

When anger is mismanaged, it can lead to conflicts, strained relationships, and even health problems. So, while feeling angry isn’t inherently bad, it’s important to manage it in a way that it doesn’t negatively affect your life or the lives of those around you.

3. Can You Ever Completely Eliminate Anger?

The simple answer is no. You cannot, and should not aim to, completely eliminate anger. As mentioned earlier, anger is a normal, natural emotion that we all experience. It’s a part of the human experience.

What you can aim for is to change how you respond to anger. Instead of letting it control you, you can learn to control it. 

This involves understanding what triggers your anger, recognizing the physical signs of anger, and learning techniques to calm down and express your feelings in a healthy, constructive way.

4. How Can I Control My Anger Instantly?

While there’s no magic formula to control anger instantly, there are techniques that can help you calm down quickly. 

Deep breathing exercises, for instance, can help slow your heart rate and lower your blood pressure. A quick walk or some other form of physical activity can also help dissipate the rush of adrenaline that comes with anger.

However, these are just immediate steps to prevent an angry outburst. To truly manage anger, adopt long-term strategies like mindfulness, regular exercise, and if needed, seeking professional help. 

The goal here isn’t just to control anger in the heat of the moment, but to handle it better in the long run.

5. Is Professional Help Necessary for Anger Management?

Professional help isn’t always necessary for anger management, but it can be extremely beneficial in certain situations. 

If your anger is causing distress or harm to you or others, if it’s leading to problems at work or in your relationships, or if you feel like you can’t control it on your own, then seeking professional help can be a good idea.

Therapists and counselors can provide you with strategies and techniques to manage your anger effectively. They can also help you explore any underlying issues that may be contributing to your anger. 

In the end, the decision to seek professional help is a personal one and depends on your specific needs and circumstances.


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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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