Dating can be exciting, but it can also come with challenges.
Some men bring unique difficulties into relationships that can make things miserable.
Recognizing these types can help you understand the patterns and behaviors that are toxic or damaging, so you can steer clear and find healthier connections.
There are various ways that certain personalities can undermine a partnership. Some struggle to commit, others are overly controlling, and many are just plain unreliable.
Instead of lifting you up, these men tend to bring down your confidence and create constant stress, making relationships feel more like a burden than a source of joy.
This article will walk you through nine types of men who can make relationships miserable.
Being aware of these personalities will empower you to recognize red flags early, and choose partners who value you, encourage your growth, and bring positivity into your life.
1. The Emotionally Unavailable Man
An emotionally unavailable man finds it tough to connect or share his feelings.
He might avoid deep conversations and keep things surface level, making it hard to get to know the real him.
You might feel like you’re always the one sharing and opening up, while he remains closed off, which can leave you feeling lonely in the relationship.
Even during tough times when you need support, he may not offer the emotional comfort you seek.
He might seem distant or distracted, and it’s not because he doesn’t care, but rather he struggles to express his emotions or connect on a deeper level.
This barrier can make it challenging to build a strong, fulfilling relationship.
Being with someone who is emotionally unavailable can be frustrating. You might keep hoping they’ll open up eventually, but find yourself waiting for a moment that never comes.
It’s important for both partners in a relationship to feel emotionally connected and supported, without that, it can feel like something crucial is missing.
2. The Manipulator
A manipulator plays emotional games. His actions and words are often calculated to get what he wants, without taking your feelings into account.
He might use guilt, flattery, or even deception as tools to influence your decisions.
Recognizing these tactics can be tricky because they can be subtle and wrapped in affection.
Manipulators often twist words or situations to their advantage.
You might find yourself apologizing for something you didn’t do wrong or agreeing to something you’re not comfortable with.
They have a knack for making you doubt your own perceptions and feelings.
The emotional toll of dealing with a manipulator can be heavy. You may start to feel confused and unsure of your own thoughts.
A healthy relationship is based on honesty and respect, not manipulation and control.
Being aware of manipulation tactics can help you protect your well-being and make informed choices about your relationship.
[Read: “My Boyfriend Makes Me Feel Insecure”: What To Do About It]
3. The Controller
Some men believe they need to have a say in every part of their partner’s life, from what they wear to who they hang out with.
They might justify this behavior by saying they’re just looking out for you, but really, it’s about maintaining control.
These actions can make a relationship feel more like a strict set of rules than a loving partnership.
The controller often gets upset if you make decisions without consulting them first.
Whether it’s a small choice like cutting your hair or something bigger like accepting a new job, they want to have the final say.
This need for control can be stifling and often leads to arguments that are about power rather than solving problems.
People in relationships with controllers might feel they are constantly walking on eggshells, trying to avoid upsetting their partner.
Over time, this dynamic can be draining and damaging to one’s self-esteem. Feeling free to make your own choices is crucial for a healthy relationship, and without it, resentment can build.
4. The Insecure Man
An insecure man often doubts himself and needs constant reassurance in a relationship.
He may question your feelings for him frequently, regardless of how much affection you show.
This continuous need for validation can be exhausting and can create unnecessary tension in the relationship.
Insecurity might also lead him to feel jealous or threatened by your friendships or successes.
Instead of celebrating achievements with you, he sees them as competition or feels left out.
Over time, this behavior can isolate you from other important relationships and opportunities, making the relationship feel suffocating and overly dependent.
5. The Ghoster
A ghoster is someone who seems really interested one minute and then disappears the next.
One day, they might send a bunch of sweet messages, make plans, and seem really into the relationship.
Suddenly, they stop replying to texts, cancel plans without explanation, and act distant. This unpredictability can be really confusing and upsetting.
The ghoster’s hot-and-cold behavior makes it hard to know where you stand in the relationship.
You might spend a lot of time trying to figure out what you did wrong or what changed, but often, the issue lies with their own commitment fears or indecisiveness.
This inconsistency can make building a trusting, stable relationship nearly impossible.
People dealing with a ghoster often feel insecure and undervalued. The lack of clear communication and the sudden changes in behavior can lead to anxiety and a lack of trust.
Healthy relationships are based on consistency and respect, which are qualities a ghoster typically struggles to provide.
6. The Critic
Then there’s the critic. This type of man is hard to please and often finds fault with what you do, how you look, or what you say.
They may claim they’re just trying to help you improve or that they’re “just being honest,” but constant criticism can wear down your confidence and self-worth.
Critics often use their harsh words under the guise of helping you grow, but their comments can feel more demeaning than constructive.
Instead of feeling supported in your endeavors, you might start feeling inadequate or always in the wrong.
Their approval becomes something you might find yourself constantly striving to earn, which is a tiring and often fruitless effort.
A relationship with a critic can be challenging because it’s hard to feel loved and accepted for who you are.
Instead of feeling like a team, it can feel like you’re always being judged. True partnership encourages and uplifts, rather than constantly pointing out faults and focusing on shortcomings.
7. The Promise Breaker
Promise breakers often make commitments they don’t keep.
One day they might promise to take you on a special date or help with an important task, and then they don’t follow through.
This pattern can leave you feeling disappointed and unsure about relying on them for anything important.
Instead of admitting their mistake, promise breakers usually have a lot of excuses. They might blame their busy schedule or just forget all about what they promised.
This behavior makes it tough to trust them, as you never know if they’re going to stick to their word.
Dealing with a promise breaker is frustrating because reliability is key in a healthy relationship.
You should feel like you can depend on your partner. When promises are broken, it chips away at the trust and foundation of your relationship, making it hard to feel secure.
8. The Victim
The victim always makes everything about themselves. They turn every situation into a story about how something bad always happens to them.
Even when the problem is clearly their fault, they see themselves as the unfortunate one and often seek your sympathy.
When challenges arise, instead of solving them, the victim might complain or blame others.
They rarely take responsibility for their actions, which can be exhausting for you. You might find yourself constantly trying to cheer them up or make things right.
Being in a relationship with a victim is draining because it can feel like there’s never a break from their problems.
You might start feeling more like a caretaker than a partner, which isn’t fair to you. Partners should support each other, not burden one another with constant negativity.
9. The Secret Keeper
Secret keepers hide parts of their lives from you, making you feel like you’re always on the outside.
They might have other relationships or hobbies they don’t tell you about. This secrecy prevents true intimacy from developing, as you’re never quite sure if you know the real them.
Even when asked directly, secret keepers are skilled at dodging questions or changing the subject.
Their reluctance to share can leave you wondering what they’re hiding and if you’re really as close as you think. This mystery is harmful because openness and honesty are crucial for a strong relationship.
Living with uncertainty is tough. It can cause anxiety and doubt, undermining the trust and closeness that should exist between partners.
Feeling connected and included is important, and without it, the relationship can start to feel lonely and fragmented.
