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Everyone Wants to Shine. It’s a simple truth: we all want to be seen in a good light.
From the moment we’re old enough to understand the idea of “liking” and “disliking,” we want to be liked.
You want to be that person who walks into a room and captures attention, not because you’re shouting the loudest, but because there’s something about you that people find appealing.
But what exactly does it mean to be appealing?
Being appealing doesn’t mean you have to be the most attractive person in the room or have the most talent. It’s not about having the fanciest clothes or the most expensive gadgets.
It’s something deeper than that. Being appealing is about the way you carry yourself, the energy you give off, and the way you connect with others. It’s about being genuine, confident, and kind.
The good news is, being more appealing is something that can be learned. With the right steps, anyone can boost their appeal. Here’s how to do it.
1. The Basics – Be Kind to People
You’d think this one would be obvious, right? But kindness goes a long way, and it’s sometimes overlooked.
At its core, kindness is about recognizing the humanity in others and treating them with respect and compassion. It’s such a simple act, but its impact is profound. Why?
Well, we sometimes forget that everyone is fighting their own battle. A small gesture, a kind word, or just a smile can make someone’s day. People remember kindness. It leaves an imprint, a warmth that lingers.
As Maya Angelou put it, “People may not remember what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.
Being kind doesn’t mean being a pushover or neglecting one’s own needs. It’s about mutual respect. Whether it’s holding the door for someone, listening without interrupting, or just being there for a friend in need, these acts resonate.
At the end of the day, we all want to be treated with kindness. And by spreading it, we create a ripple effect, making both ourselves and the world around us more appealing.
2. Mirror Neurons and Mimicry Effect
Humans are naturally inclined to mirror or mimic the behavior of those around them. This is due to something called mirror neurons in our brain.
By subtly mimicking the body language or expressions of someone you’re talking to, you create a deeper connection.
This doesn’t mean copying every move. But small gestures, like matching their pace of speech or mirroring their posture, can create a sense of rapport.
The reason this works is because mimicry can make the other person feel understood and validated.
If you don’t know already, the more familiar someone is to us, the more likable they appear and the more at ease we are in their presence. It has something to do with what psychologists call the Mere Exposure Effect.
They might not even consciously realize why they feel more connected to you, but the underlying psychology is hard at work.
Interestingly, this isn’t just a human trait. Even animals display mimicry to fit in with their groups. For us, it’s a way to build trust and make interactions smoother.
So the next time you’re chatting with someone, notice the rhythm and flow of the conversation and see if you can subtly harmonize with it.
[Related: Top 10 Things That Attract A Man To A Woman]
3. Authenticity Shines
Authenticity is appealing because it’s rare. We are drawn to those who are unapologetically themselves, flaws and all. And it’s no wonder why when we’re in a world literally full of filters and curated realities.
Being authentic means being honest about your feelings and opinions, even if they’re not always popular.
It’s showing your true self, rather than a version you think others will like. This raw, genuine nature can be refreshing in today’s often superficial world.
Of course, this doesn’t mean oversharing or being tactless. There’s a difference between being genuine and being brutally honest without regard. The bottom line is, when you show your true self, you allow others to connect with you on a deeper level.
It’s almost liberating, both for you and for those around you. They get to meet the real you, and in turn, they’re more likely to show their true selves as well.
And that mutual understanding? It’s pure gold in terms of appeal.
4. The Charm of Vulnerability
There’s a misconception that to be appealing, one must be perfect. But in reality, vulnerability has its own unique charm.
Letting your guard down, admitting mistakes, or sharing fears can make you more relatable.
When you’re vulnerable, you break down barriers. You show that, like everyone else, you have your own set of challenges and insecurities. And in doing so, you become more human, more approachable.
Brené Brown, a renowned researcher, has spoken extensively about the power of vulnerability. According to her, it’s the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness.
If it feels scary to be vulnerable, that’s okay. It means you’re stepping out of your comfort zone.
Whenever you’re tempted to hide your mistakes or mask your feelings, think twice. Opening up, in the right setting, can make you far more appealing and relatable than any facade of perfection ever could.
[Read: How to Choose the Perfect Dress for Your Body Type]
5. Make People Feel Seen and Validated
Eyes are often called the windows to the soul. There’s a reason for that. Eye contact creates a sense of intimacy and connection. Engaging someone with your eyes means you’re present, attentive, and interested in what they’re saying.
Now, this doesn’t mean staring someone down. That can be off-putting. It’s a gentle, consistent gaze that communicates understanding.
In many cultures, maintaining eye contact is a sign of respect, signaling that you value the conversation and the individual.
You might be surprised by how much can be communicated without words. A simple look can convey empathy, interest, or even humor. By mastering the art of eye contact, you can connect on a deeper level, making interactions memorable.
Sure, it can feel a bit intimidating initially, especially if you’re shy. But like any skill, with practice, it becomes more natural. And the impact? It’s well worth the effort.
6. Positive Body Language
Our bodies speak, even when we’re silent. The way you stand, the gestures you make, and even your facial expressions communicate volumes. This is why adopting a positive body language can make you instantly more appealing.
Imagine someone slouched, arms crossed, looking away while you talk. Compare that to someone standing tall, nodding, and leaning slightly towards you. The difference is stark.
One communicates disinterest and the other, engagement.
Being aware of your body language and making small adjustments can enhance your interactions.
Simple acts, like uncrossing your arms or tilting your head to show you’re listening, can make a world of difference.
Plus, your body language affects not just how others perceive you, but also how you feel.
Adopting a more open posture can boost your mood and confidence. And as you feel better, that positive energy radiates, making you all the more appealing.
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7. Understand How to Make People Feel Good In Your Presence
There’s an art to making others feel at ease around you. It’s not about flattery or false pretenses but about creating a safe, welcoming space where they feel valued.
Simply listening plays a huge role in this. When people feel heard, they feel validated. But it’s more than just nodding along. It’s about being fully present, making that sincere eye contact, showing empathy, and understanding where they’re coming from.
A warm smile, an open posture, or just nodding in agreement can make someone feel comfortable and cherished. It’s these subtle cues that show you’re genuinely interested in them and what they have to say.
In essence, making people feel good around you is about building trust. It’s about showing them that you’re there, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, genuinely engaged in the interaction.
8. Learn to Be Genuinely Curious About People
“Each person you meet is like an undiscovered country, with a very particular psychological chemistry that you will carefully explore. You are more than ready to be surprised by what you uncover.” — Robert Greene, The Laws of Human Nature
Everyone has a story. Every person you meet carries a world within them, full of experiences, dreams, and perspectives.
Tapping into a genuine curiosity about others can be one of the most appealing traits you can possess.
People love to share about themselves. And having someone genuinely interested in hearing their story? It’s a gift.
But this isn’t about prying or being nosy. It’s a deeper kind of curiosity, one that seeks to understand and connect. It’s the kind of curiosity that prompts thoughtful questions and builds connections.
So, next time you meet someone, be it a friend or a stranger, dive a little deeper. Seek to know them beyond the surface. You might be surprised by the rich experiences they bring, and in turn, the depth it adds to your interactions.
[Related: How to Be The Kind of Woman Men Can’t Resist (Psychology)
9. Practice Gratitude
Being grateful is more than just saying “thank you.” It’s an attitude, a mindset.
People naturally gravitate towards positive energy, and expressing gratitude consistently emits that. When you acknowledge the good in your life and in others, it showcases a positive outlook.
Think about the people you enjoy being around. Often, they’re the ones who appreciate the little things, who find joy in everyday moments. There’s an undeniable warmth that comes with gratitude, and it makes interactions brighter.
Besides, practicing gratitude can transform not just how others see you, but how you view yourself. It’s a gentle reminder of the good in your life, which in turn boosts your self-esteem and confidence. And confidence? That’s inherently appealing.
10. The Power of Active Listening
People can sense genuine engagement. And they’re drawn to it.
Ever noticed how the best conversationalists aren’t necessarily the ones talking the most? Often, they’re the ones who listen the best. Watch the most popular podcasts, you’ll see this in practice over and over again.
[Also read: 9 Simple Ways to Be a Charming Conversationalist (Science)
Conclusion
Being appealing isn’t about pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about finding those wonderful parts of yourself and letting them shine.
It’s the sparkle in your eye when you talk about something you love, the way you listen when someone needs a friend, and the kindness you show, even when no one is watching. Remember, every small effort counts.
So, keep being genuine, keep learning, and most importantly, always be yourself. Because the real you is the most appealing you there can be. You just need to understand and enhance it.
- All photos from freepik.com
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