Not everyone gets into a relationship for the right reasons. Some people are just in it for what they can gain — attention, money, or perks.
It’s not always obvious at first, but over time, the signs start to add up. You’re putting in the effort, but she’s treating the relationship like her personal convenience store.
These types of behaviors aren’t random; they’re patterns. She might make you feel like everything revolves around her, leaving you exhausted and questioning why you’re the only one giving.
It’s frustrating, unfair, and honestly, not what a real partnership looks like.
So how do you know when someone is only in it for themselves? That’s what we’re discussing here.
By the end, you’ll know the signs, save yourself the headache, and maybe even avoid wasting your time on someone who isn’t genuinely there for you.
1. She Only Gives When She’s Getting Something Back
Ever feel like you’re part of some unwritten trade deal? That’s a big red flag.
If her effort only shows up when there’s something in it for her — whether it’s attention, gifts, or favors — that’s a sign she’s more about the benefits than the bond.
A good relationship doesn’t feel like you’re bartering; it’s about showing up for each other, no strings attached.
Think about how she acts when you need her help or support. Does she genuinely want to be there for you, or does she act like she’s doing you the biggest favor of all time?
Some people only step up because they’re keeping mental score. And guess what? You’re the one paying for it later — with your time, energy, or peace of mind.
The truth is, relationships aren’t a scoreboard. If her kindness feels like it’s just a setup to guilt-trip you later or remind you of all she’s done, take a moment.
That’s not a partnership. That’s just her making sure she always comes out on top.
2. She’s Entitled to Your Money
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: her obsession with your wallet.
Sure, treating your partner is normal, but when she acts like your money is her personal ATM, it’s time to pause. Someone who values you won’t act like you owe them a luxury lifestyle just for existing.
Maybe she expects you to cover every single dinner, vacation, or shiny new thing on her wishlist — no discussion, just expectation.
And don’t be surprised if she throws a tantrum the moment you set a boundary. A little “I deserve this” energy is one thing, but someone demanding your money like it’s their birthright? That’s a whole other story.
Here’s the thing: a woman who’s truly invested in you won’t focus on your finances.
She’ll care more about who you are, not what you can buy her. Watch for that entitlement — it’s a huge clue she’s more interested in the perks than the person.
3. She Doesn’t Take the Relationship That Seriously
Does it sometimes feel like she’s just casually passing time with you? That could be a big clue she’s not as into the relationship as you are.
People who are only in it for themselves tend to treat commitment like a part-time gig — just enough effort to keep things going but never enough to make it real.
She might cancel plans last minute, avoid deeper conversations, or keep things frustratingly vague about where you two are headed.
Basically, she enjoys the benefits of being with you but skips out on the responsibilities.
That’s not just careless — it’s her showing you exactly how much she values the relationship.
Here’s what you should watch for: does she prioritize you at all? Or is it always her way, her schedule, her convenience?
A woman who’s serious about you will show up, plain and simple. If she’s always half-in, it’s worth asking yourself if you deserve better — and spoiler alert, you probably do.
4. She’s Only Around for the Good Times
A real partner sticks with you through thick and thin, but someone who’s in it for themselves will only show up when things are going well.
As soon as challenges arise or you hit a rough patch, she’s nowhere to be found. That’s not love; that’s convenience.
Notice how she reacts when you need her most. Does she vanish when life gets tough or act like your problems are an inconvenience?
Relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows, but the right person will stand by you no matter what. If she’s only there for the perks, it’s time to rethink whether she’s truly in it for you.
5. She Makes You Jump Through Hoops
You’re always proving yourself, but it’s never enough.
She sets impossible standards or constantly raises the bar, making you feel like you have to earn her affection or attention.
Whether it’s planning elaborate dates or doing favors, it’s a one-sided effort to keep her satisfied.
The worst part? There’s rarely any acknowledgment of what you do. She might act like you’re supposed to go the extra mile, as if her happiness is your responsibility.
If you’re feeling drained and unappreciated, it’s probably because she’s taking more than she’s giving — and she doesn’t plan on stopping.
6. She’s Never Happy With What You Give
No matter what you do, it’s never enough. You buy her gifts? She wanted something bigger.
You plan a thoughtful evening? She complains it wasn’t exciting enough. There’s always some reason why your efforts fall short, and it’s because she’s not truly in it for the relationship — she’s in it for what she can get.
Her constant dissatisfaction isn’t about you; it’s about her endless need to feel special. But instead of appreciating what you bring to the table, she focuses on what’s missing.
That’s not love or partnership; it’s selfishness in disguise. You deserve someone who values your effort, not someone who treats it like a given.
7. She Makes You Jump Through Hoops
You’re always proving yourself, but it’s never enough. She sets impossible standards or constantly raises the bar, making you feel like you have to earn her affection or attention.
Whether it’s planning elaborate dates or doing favors, it’s a one-sided effort to keep her satisfied.
The worst part? There’s rarely any acknowledgment of what you do. She might act like you’re supposed to go the extra mile, as if her happiness is your responsibility.
If you’re feeling drained and unappreciated, it’s probably because she’s taking more than she’s giving — and she doesn’t plan on stopping.
8. She’s Never Happy With What You Give
No matter what you do, it’s never enough. You buy her gifts? She wanted something bigger.
You plan a thoughtful evening? She complains it wasn’t exciting enough.
There’s always some reason why your efforts fall short, and it’s because she’s not truly in it for the relationship — she’s in it for what she can get.
Her constant dissatisfaction isn’t about you; it’s about her endless need to feel special. But instead of appreciating what you bring to the table, she focuses on what’s missing.
That’s not love or partnership; it’s selfishness in disguise. You deserve someone who values your effort, not someone who treats it like a given.
