Keep Your Circle Small

When I started university, I felt so insecure about not having a big group of friends around me all the time. 

Everywhere I looked, it seemed like everyone else had these tight groups—they’d sit together in class, eat lunch in big circles, and walk around campus laughing like they’d known each other forever. 

It was hard enough seeing it in real life, but social media made it so much worse.

I’d open Instagram or Facebook and see endless photos of people at parties, looking like they were always happy and having the best time. 

It wasn’t just what they posted—it was how perfect it all seemed, like they were living this effortless, exciting life I wasn’t part of. 

And the saddest part of all this is that we live in a world that pushes this idea relentlessly, and social media has only amplified it. 

We’re shown snapshots of big group dinners, wild parties, and constant companionship. 

We’re constantly being exposed to carefully curated moments designed to make life look perfect. 

But what these posts don’t show are the other sides: the shallow connections that often lead to loneliness, or the exhaustion that comes from trying to maintain such a large circle of friends. 

Because here’s the thing: having a big circle isn’t always what it seems, and it definitely isn’t always what’s best for you.

What truly matters isn’t the size of your circle, but the quality of the connections you have within it. 

Because the people you surround yourself with don’t just affect your day-to-day life—they shape your mental health and even your sense of self to a large extent. 

If you think about it deeply, you’ll realize that we tend to see ourselves through the lens of those closest to us. 

I mean, psychology makes us understand that the way our parents or guardians treated and related to us during childhood often becomes the foundation for how we perceive ourselves. 

If you were raised by people who encouraged and nurtured your individuality, you’re more likely to grow into an adult with confidence and self-worth. 

But if you grew up in an environment where love felt conditional, where you were judged or criticized for being yourself, it can create deep insecurities that follow you into adulthood. 

And as adults, we unconsciously carry this pattern into our friendships, often choosing circles that mirror those early dynamics—sometimes for better, but often for worse.

This is why the wrong social circle can be so damaging. When you surround yourself with judgmental people who don’t truly accept you, it chips away at your confidence. 

You feel like you have to shrink yourself, hide parts of who you are, or fit into a version of yourself that they approve of. 

Over time, this kind of environment saps your sense of self-worth and leaves you feeling small, even ashamed of who you truly are. 

Many people are stuck in circles that criticize instead of uplift. There are so many people trapped in a constant state of approval seeking and fear of rejection. And you can only imagine what this will do to their mental health. 

The saddest part is, they often mistake this for normalcy, because these people never realize that true friendships don’t force you to change who you are—they allow you to be fully, unapologetically yourself.

I’ve noticed that many people, especially younger people, are insecure about their social circles. 

They’re so desperate to be seen as likable or popular that they reject those who genuinely care for them. 

Maybe that friend isn’t “cool enough” or doesn’t fit the image they want to project. Or maybe they’re introverts forcing themselves to be extroverts, unaware that their natural inclination for solitude is a strength, not a weakness. 

It’s ironic, isn’t it? In chasing what they think they should have, they overlook what they already do.

So… If you don’t have a lot of friends, I want you to know one thing: you’re not at a disadvantage. 

In fact, you might have an unfair advantage. Having fewer people around you means you have the space to think, to grow, and to truly know yourself. It makes you mysterious, unpredictable. 

You’re not someone who’s always available, always seeking validation from others. And when you do have friends, those friendships tend to be deeper, more meaningful. 

A few close friends who truly understand you can be worth a million shallow acquaintances. Quality over quantity—every single time.

That’s not to say having a big social circle is inherently bad. If you’re someone who thrives in large groups and enjoys constant socializing, that’s wonderful. But it’s not for everyone, and it’s certainly not the measure of a person’s worth. 

The key is knowing who you are and honoring that. If you’re naturally reserved, embrace it. 

If you prefer intimate conversations over loud parties, cherish that. There’s no right way to be, and no one-size-fits-all formula for happiness.

When you enjoy your own company, you’re less likely to depend on others for validation. You have time to think deeply, to create, to recharge. And you’re better able to discern who belongs in your life. 

Not everyone deserves access to you, and keeping your circle small allows you to be intentional about the energy you surround yourself with.

So, don’t feel pressured to live a life that doesn’t align with who you are. Keep your circle small, if that’s what feels right for you. 

Build your life with people who truly see you, who respect you, and who make you better—not just people who make you look cool and popular.