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In films and literature, the friends-to-lovers genre has been overexploited. We see two friends fall in love with each other, hide their feelings for a while, then finally do a grand proclamation and live happily ever after. Easy peasy. 

In real life, however, it is not that simple. Nothing breaks a friendship faster than making a wrong romantic move on a friend and getting a cold shoulder in return. Nobody wants that. 

Friendships are great, and it is always nice to have someone who you can always talk to or confide in during life’s difficult moments. 

However, dynamics can change and you start to look at her a little differently. You are developing a huge crush on her, but you don’t want to ruin your friendship bond by confessing your love and then finding out she doesn’t feel the same way. 

Below, I will list and explain seven signs she wants to be more than just friends. Though none of these signs are certain indications that she is also in love with you, they will give you a general idea of where her heart is. With that said, let’s check it out: 

1. Subtle flirtations 

As good friends, you are probably used to joking around with each other, but you should pay attention to whether or not she’s playing or flirting with you. 

Flirting is one major sign she wants to be more than just friends. This is even more convincing when you look at this research article on the Evolutionary psychology of flirting. 

During the research, Professor Kennair said, flirting is done mainly to attract potential partners. “Men and women both flirt to get the attention of their desired partner, and perhaps to achieve a sexual or romantic result from it.” 

If you notice your female friend is suddenly flirting, chances are that she has also developed romantic or sexual feelings for you, and she’s sending you signals that she is available. 

Understand that flirting has now evolved past laughing hysterically at your jokes, or the popular dramatic batting of the eyelashes. Instead, pay attention to the way she says your name, whether or not she listens to you, the way she looks at your lips, or even the way she smiles at you. 

Also read: 6 Mistakes That Are Keeping You Single

2. She becomes very curious about you

It’s normal for friends to ask each other questions about themselves. It just shows they care. 

However, there is a thin line between a lady asking you questions as a friend, or as someone who is romantically interested in you. As a man, you have to be very discerning to notice these slight differences. 

One sign she wants to be more than just friends with you is when she starts to show increased curiosity and ask questions about your love life and relationships. She is suddenly interested in that girl you exchanged contact with at the bar or your female coworker who wouldn’t leave you alone. 

Not only does she ask questions, you notice signs of jealousy when you tell her you are getting close to another lady, even when she tries so hard to mask these feelings. 

3. She mirrors you 

Does she suddenly use all your witty slangs unconsciously? The extent to which a girl mimics you can tell you a lot about how much she admires you. 

In this research article about love and the social aspects of mimicry, we understand that imitating someone’s behavior is moderated by the need to feel connected to that person. This is usually done without them being aware of it. 

As a man who is looking for signs that she wants to be more than just friends, you need to pay attention to this particular detail. 

Does she mirror your facial expressions and mannerisms? Also, when you are talking to her, does she make the same gestures you make? These are clear indications that she is paying you more than just surface attention. 

Interesting: 10 Signs She Is Sexually Attracted to You

4. She likes to look at you 

The next sign is eye contact. If she is staring at you a little more than usual, it’s a sign she wants to be more than just friends. 

According to this research on eye contact and arousal, when a person can’t stop staring at you, it is proof that they find you attractive, and are interested in a romantic connection with you. We like looking at things we find attractive. 

Due to certain chemicals that are released into the bloodstream during eye contact with someone we like, deep feelings of trust and security are emitted which would make her crave your presence. These chemicals are dopamine and oxytocin, which are also called cuddle hormones. These hormones are very addictive. 

With that being said, if you notice that your female friend is constantly looking or gazing at you, don’t wonder too much. It’s simply because she wants to be more than just friends. 

This also goes for physical touch, which is also as potent as eye contact. These touches are simply little gestures like moving closer to you during a conversation, touching your arm when she laughs, ruffling your hair, etc. 

5. She’s invested in you

Usually, when you tell her you’re spending a few more hours at the bar, she’s okay with it. But lately, she’s not having it. She complains that you’re drinking too much, or that she doesn’t want you staying out late. 

You might be wondering about the cause of the sudden shift, but the reason is not far-fetched. It’s because the dynamics of the friendship are changing for her too, and the intensity of her feelings for you have deepened to the point where she is more intentional about your welfare and safety. 

She is now more emotionally invested, and this is one very major sign that she wants to be more than just friends. 

Also read: 7 Big Mistakes Men Make When Texting a Woman

6. She’s curious about your family and friends 

A friend who is genuinely interested in you will care about those who are in your life. This includes your family, your friends, your relatives, and so on. 

She will ask genuine questions about their welfare, try to get close to them, and even send gifts. This is because she is emotionally attached to you, and sees your family as hers. 

This emotional attachment will cut across every area, to the point where she’ll be all up in your space and social media, calling you, liking all your pictures, and genuinely showing up when you need her, even on days when she’s busy.

All these and major signs she wants to be more than just friends, and it’s up to you to take the first step. 

7. You make her self-conscious 

Usually, you and your female friend do everything and anything together. She is not shy about wolfing down her food in front of you. She doesn’t worry about her makeup —or lack of it. She is not shy to be 100% herself when she is with you. 

But lately, things have changed. She doesn’t want to eat in front of you anymore, she cares more about her looks and outfit, and she is more conscious about her appearance. Well…here’s why: 

According to experts, people get nervous when they see something desirable in their environment. This bundle of nerves is triggered by bodily chemicals because such a person is anxious to gain the attraction of whoever they are attracted to. 

Watch how your female friend acts around you. Is she suddenly jumpy? Does she blush harder when you compliment her? How does she react to your touch? If you can answer these questions, then you might be able to figure out how your friend feels about you. 


Sometimes the signs may come in handy, sometimes they won’t. Make sure you are hundred percent certain your friend feels the same way before making your move. If she doesn’t return your feelings, it might result in a broken or awkward friendship, which is very heartbreaking. 

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Adetayo Toluwalope

Adetayo is an author and a prolific writer. Her writing experience broadly encompasses fiction and articles regarding dating and lifestyle. She's passionate about helping people become better versions of themselves through storytelling.

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