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Breakups are tough. Whether you saw it coming or it caught you by surprise, the end of a relationship can leave you feeling hurt, confused, and searching for answers. 

It’s normal to feel a rush of emotions, from sadness to anger, and sometimes even the desire for some form of revenge. 

But, acting out in anger or seeking revenge isn’t really going to make us feel better in the long run. In fact, it might just make things worse.

So, what’s the right way to approach this? How can you “get back” at your ex without stooping low or causing more pain? 

The answer lies in turning the situation around, focusing on yourself, and growing from the experience. 

This is about showing yourself and the world that you’re strong, resilient, and can bounce back even better than before.

In this article, we’re going to explore seven healthy ways to move forward after a breakup. These aren’t just about healing but about flourishing and rediscovering yourself. 

How to Get Back At Your Ex 

How to Get Back At Your Ex 

1. Glow Up

Glowing up is a holistic approach that starts from the inside. Eat well, exercise, and take care of your mental health. 

Progressively, you’ll not only feel fantastic, but you’ll exude confidence that others will undoubtedly notice.

While external changes like a new fitness routine or experimenting with a different fashion style can be fun, remember to work on your inner glow as well. 

This means developing a positive mindset, being kinder to yourself, and celebrating small achievements. 

Every day you invest in yourself, you get a step closer to that transformative glow up.

2. Don’t Try to Get Back at Them, Move On

The urge might hit you: a fleeting thought of “showing them what they’re missing.” But seeking revenge or trying to make someone jealous is energy wasted. 

Your life should be about you, not them. Instead of plotting, spend that energy on pursuits that make you happy, fulfilled, and genuinely content.

Moving on doesn’t mean you have to pretend the relationship never happened. It’s about accepting that chapter as close and being excited about the next one. 

By focusing on yourself, setting new goals, and cherishing your newfound freedom, you create a life that’s rich and rewarding.

You’ll probably find that gradually, the urge to “get back” fades away. That’s because you’re too engrossed in your own journey, building a life that’s genuinely yours. 

[Related: “Why Is My Ex Watching My Stories But Not Reaching Out?” (8 Reasons)

3. Build Stronger Social Connections

Getting back at your ex

Post-breakup periods can sometimes feel lonely, but they also present an excellent opportunity to reconnect with old friends or make new ones. 

Start by reaching out to those friends you might have unintentionally neglected during your relationship. They might have been in a similar situation before and can offer support or just a listening ear.

Next, consider expanding your social circle. Attend meet-ups related to your hobbies, volunteer for causes close to your heart, or even just start a conversation with someone at a coffee shop. 

People naturally gravitate towards positivity, and as you form new bonds, you’ll find the breakup becoming a distant memory.

4. Cultivate a Positive Mindset

Dwelling on the past or harboring negative feelings can become a heavy burden. Instead, try to adopt a positive outlook on the situation. 

Understand that every experience, pleasant or otherwise, contributes to your life’s narrative and helps shape who you are. 

By seeing the breakup as a learning experience, you can move forward with grace.

Journaling can be a helpful tool in this endeavor. Write down your feelings, your hopes, and your dreams for the future. This act can provide clarity on what you truly want out of life. 

Embracing gratitude can also shift your perspective. By focusing on what you’re thankful for, whether it’s your health, friends, or even just a sunny day, you’ll find yourself less consumed by thoughts of revenge or resentment. 

[Also read: 10 Signs Your Ex is Pretending to Be Over You]

5. Prioritize Self-Care and Personal Growth

Embracing self-care, from pampering yourself at a spa to taking yoga classes or diving into a good book, can be transformative. 

These activities not only distract you from the pain of a breakup but also help you rebuild yourself.

There’s no better feeling than looking in the mirror and recognizing how much you’ve grown from an experience. To achieve this, seek out opportunities that enrich your life. 

It could be enrolling in a course you’ve always wanted to take, learning a new skill, or even traveling to a place you’ve always wanted to visit. 

Every step you take toward personal development sends a message that you’re taking charge of your own happiness.

Also, dedicating time to your passions will naturally increase your self-worth. You might pick up an old hobby or discover a new one. 

Your ex might notice your newfound confidence and passion, but more importantly, you will notice it.

6. Establish Clear Boundaries

Taking revenge on your ex

After a breakup, it’s vital to set clear boundaries with your ex, especially if you’re in the same social circles or workplace. 

You don’t have to totally avoid them, but understand and respect each other’s space. This allows both of you to heal and move on without unnecessary conflicts.

One way to establish these boundaries is through communication. You might need to have a conversation about what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not. 

For instance, maybe you’d prefer not to attend the same social events for a while, or perhaps you’d rather not discuss your personal lives if you do meet.

Setting boundaries is as much about protecting yourself as it is about defining the post-relationship dynamics. 

[Related: 50 Status to Make Your Ex Jealous]

7. Dive into New Experiences

Instead of ruminating over what went wrong, channel your energy into exploring uncharted territories.

Have you ever wanted to go on a solo trip or try a dance class? Now might be the perfect time to take the plunge.

As you immerse yourself in these new experiences, you’ll discover facets of yourself that perhaps even you weren’t aware of. 

Every challenge overcome, every new skill learned adds layers to your personality, making you richer in experience and stories.

Moreover, these experiences are not just a distraction. They’re a testament to your resilience and adaptability. 

You might end up finding yourself grateful for the breakup, as it paved the way for these incredible adventures.

8. Focus on Forgiveness and Moving on 

Holding onto anger can become a lifelong burden. Instead, by choosing to forgive, not necessarily for your ex but for yourself, you can find true peace.

Accept that the break up is a part of your past, understand that holding onto negative emotions can hinder your future, and make an active choice to move forward with a light heart.

Meditation and mindfulness practices can assist in this journey towards forgiveness. These techniques can help you process your emotions and allow you to reach a state of acceptance. 

9. Rediscover Your Individuality and Enjoy Being Single 

How to get back at ex

In relationships, it’s common for people to merge some of their interests, hobbies, and even personalities. 

Perhaps there’s a hobby you shelved while you were in the relationship, or maybe there’s a side of your personality you’ve long suppressed. It’s time to bring those to the forefront.

Your individuality is your strength. By reconnecting with your authentic self, you not only heal faster but also lay a strong foundation for any future relationships. 

You’ll be entering them not as someone seeking completion, but as a complete person in your own right.

The journey to rediscover yourself can be both enlightening and fun, and it’s a path every individual should tread, relationship or not.

What’s the best revenge on an ex?

The most effective “revenge” on an ex isn’t found in malicious actions or attempting to make them feel regret. Instead, the best revenge is living a fulfilled, happy, and content life. 

When you focus on your well-being, personal growth, and self-love, you not only heal from the breakup but also pave the way for better relationships and experiences in the future. 

Letting go of anger and resentment and prioritizing your happiness sends a clear message: you’ve moved on and are thriving.

And, the idea of “revenge” often stems from lingering feelings or unresolved emotions. 

However, focusing on personal development, cultivating meaningful relationships, and seeking joy in daily activities proves that you’ve truly let go. 

When you’re genuinely content with your life, the need for revenge dissipates, as your well-being becomes the ultimate testimony of your resilience.

Why it’s a bad idea trying to “get back at” your ex

Attempting to “get back at” an ex often backfires, leaving you feeling more unsatisfied and trapped in negative emotions. 

Such actions are typically fueled by anger, hurt, or a desire to provoke a reaction, but they rarely lead to the closure or satisfaction one might expect. 

Instead, they prolong the healing process and prevent you from genuinely moving forward.

Holding onto anger and resentment can cloud your judgment, making it challenging to approach new relationships with an open heart and clear mind. 

Healing and personal growth should be the priorities post-breakup. Spending energy on negative actions or thoughts detracts from the journey of self-discovery and happiness.

[Read: “Why Did My Ex Call Me Late at Night?”: 10 Surprising Reasons]

How to easily move on after a breakup

Moving on after a breakup is a unique journey for everyone, but there are a few universally helpful strategies. 

First, recognize and accept your feelings, understanding that it’s okay to feel hurt, sad, or even relieved. 

Consider journaling or talking to a trusted friend or therapist to process these emotions. This self-awareness aids in healing.

Next, immerse yourself in activities and hobbies you love. Whether it’s diving back into a long-forgotten hobby, joining a new class, or even traveling, keeping yourself engaged can be therapeutic. 

Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family, setting clear boundaries with your ex, and focusing on self-improvement can all contribute to a smoother healing process. 

Gradually, with patience and self-love, you’ll find that moving on becomes more manageable, paving the way for new beginnings.

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Anita Oge

Meet Anita, a relationship writer with a passion for helping people navigate the complexities of love and dating. With a background in information science, she has a wealth of knowledge and insight to share. Her writing is sure to leave you feeling empowered and inspired.

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