If you’re reading this, it means there’s someone who makes you unsure of what you feel. Do you like this person? Are you in love, is it lust, or infatuation? You’re not sure.
You’ve probably asked some family and friends, or they may have told you, “You’re acting weird”. And then, when you ask them “how do you know when you are in love” they hit you with the all-time favorite “when you’re in love, you just know”.
There is no hard-and-fast rule about falling in love. Most of us have thrown away the checklist for falling in love because, most times, love does not work the way we think it does.
That said, some signs let you know that you are in love. Research has proven these, so if they match how you’re feeling, it might be time to say those magical three words.
1. You want to share your world with them.
Dawoon Kang, cofounder, and Co-CEO of an online dating platform Coffee meets Bagel, says that the most telling sign of someone falling in love is that they want to share as much information about their lives with their love interest.
It may be something big like getting a promotion at work or small things like a funny joke told at work by a coworker; you can’t wait to tell them about it.
In return, you want them to tell you about their day, all the small and big details.
You know you’re falling in love if you’re itching to talk to that special person, so you’re always on the phone with them or wanting to hang out.
Everyone else might think you are sharing sweet nothings, but to you, every detail is a stroke of paint in the beautiful love picture you are painting.
2. You’re always thinking about them.
Daydreaming about them, smiling to yourself when you recount your last conversation, and making mental plans on what to say or do when you meet them are classic signs of falling in love.
There are many reasons you will think about someone, but if these are happy thoughts about you and them together, they are clearly important to you.
Sometimes when you find out that this person is experiencing difficulties, you may spend hours racking your brains and trying to figure out how to help them. Usually, you will go to their aid if you can do so.
If they are broke, you might find yourself helping them financially, getting them groceries, or taking them out for lunch.
3. You want to know what they think about you.
If you find yourself wondering what they think about you and if they share the feelings you have for them, this is a signifier that you might be in love.
You may also wonder if they miss you when you’re not around. Jacqueline Olds, an associate professor of clinical psychiatry at Harvard Medical School reveals,
“Your stomach and heart may take a leap every time they contact you or suggest spending time together”.
Sometimes you might even catch yourself being jealous when you see them spending time with other people. You want them to spend time with nobody else but you.
4. You feel attracted to them, and even their little quirks are cute.
I bet you’ve seen some women who laugh at corny jokes about the guys they admire. There is usually nothing funny about it, but they find these guys attractive, so everything they do is cute in their sight.
You might think their weird behaviors are unique and irresistible, even if other people find them annoying.
Dating expert Rachel DeAlto confirms that “their odd sense of style, and their particular way of doing things, all become endearing”.
5. Life feels exciting with them.
A simple walk hand-in-hand might make you feel like you’re on top of the world. You feel beautiful and giddy like a schoolgirl in love. You know you are really in love when you are excited about every waking moment, especially moments spent with that special person.
This excitement overflows into other areas of your life, and suddenly you are doing mundane things with renewed energy.
What’s more, your family and friends notice the changes in you. Your excitement, the long hours you spend with this person, and the zest for life that overtakes you every time you are with them.
So, what do you do if you recognize all these signs, you are exhibiting and admit that you are really in love?
1. Talk about it.
The only way to get on the same page with the person you think you’re in love with is to talk to them. Talking it out lets you know how you both feel and what actions you want to take to either have a romantic relationship or not.
2. Consider the deal breakers.
Some things are a deal breaker even if you really love the other person. If they are already in a romantic relationship with someone else, that is an issue to consider and then act wisely.
3. Give it time
Time will prove if it is truly love or just a crush. Allow yourself the time and space to come to terms with your feelings and when you are ready, move to the next step of talking it out and seeking to have a romantic relationship.
It is heartbreaking when we love people who do not feel the same for us. If it turns out that you are in a case of unrequited love, you must let them go.
True love means honoring other people’s wishes. Respect them and give them space.
It’s not always easy to tell if the feeling of “can’t eat, can’t sleep” is a sign of love, but these signs should help you know if you are really in love.
Overall, know what love means to you. Most people express love in the way they have seen it expressed to them, and if someone speaks your love language, you may immediately start getting attracted to them.
Define love for yourself and embrace it when it comes. You deserve it.