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There’s something both intriguing and exciting about making a woman want you. 

It’s not about manipulation or playing games, but rather about creating genuine connections and memorable moments with her. 

It’s about learning to strike the right balance, creating the space for her to miss you, and building an irresistible persona she finds hard to forget. 

But how do you do this? 

Well, these strategies we are about to discuss are from psychologists and dating experts. They’ll not only make her want you but also deepen the bond between the two of you. So let’s get started.

1. Use the Misattribution of Arousal Effect

We associate the feeling we get from good memories with those we were with when we had them. This is called the “Misattribution of arousal” in psychology. 

Creating positive and memorable experiences together is a powerful way to make a woman miss you because she’ll come to associate those memories with you. 

Here’s why: 

Think about it, what’s more likely to make her miss you – that generic dinner date or the surprise picnic under the stars? 

It’s usually the experiences that involve an emotional component that stands out in our minds. These are the ones we revisit, remember, and long for.

But this doesn’t mean every moment together needs to be a grand romantic gesture. It could be as simple as a heartfelt conversation, a shared joke, or even a game night. 

The idea is to make these moments count, and infuse them with positivity and genuine connection. By doing this, you’re more likely to linger in her thoughts even when you’re not around.

2. How to Use The Power of Mystery

How to pull away to make her want you psychology

Keeping a certain level of enigma about you can make a woman more interested and intrigued. As Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and relationship expert, put it,

“Mystery and intrigue keep love alive.” 

Now, this doesn’t mean you need to put on a façade or pretend to be someone you’re not. It’s more about not revealing everything about you all at once.

Consider this like slowly peeling an onion. Each layer reveals something new, inviting curiosity, and generating a thirst for more. 

But let’s be clear; I’m talking about a healthy level of mystery here. It’s not about building walls around yourself or avoiding meaningful conversations. It’s simply about taking your time and pacing the release of personal information.

While you might be tempted to spill all your secrets at once, try to hold back a bit. This tactic can make your woman miss you when you’re not around. Why? 

She’ll find herself intrigued, wondering about your stories, your experiences, your thoughts. This can often translate to a strong emotional connection, making her long for your presence more. 

3. Demonstrate Value Like This

Believe it or not, having your own interests, hobbies, and passions can make you more attractive. And no, it’s not just about faking “busyness”. 

It’s about demonstrating that you are a self-sufficient individual with a life beyond the relationship.

Spending time doing what you love shows that you have a life outside of her. It sends a clear message: you enjoy her company, but you don’t rely on her for your happiness. 

This independence can be incredibly attractive, as it shows maturity, self-reliance, and emotional stability.

By being involved in your interests and hobbies, you also give her some space, which can make her miss you more. 

The fact that you’re not always available may make your shared moments more valuable and memorable. 

Plus, when you get back together, you’ll have fresh, exciting stories to share about what you’ve been up to, adding another layer of appeal. 

4. The Secret In Listening and Showing Genuine Interest

the psychology of pulling away from a woman

We all want to feel seen, heard, and appreciated. 

When you actively listen and show genuine interest in what she’s saying, you are telling her that you value her thoughts and experiences. 

This can help create a deep emotional bond, which can make her miss you when you’re not around.

Active listening goes beyond just hearing the words she’s saying. It involves paying attention to her body language, acknowledging her feelings, and providing meaningful responses. 

As she feels more understood and valued, she’s more likely to miss you and the meaningful conversations you have together. S

he might find herself looking forward to the next chance to talk with you, to share her thoughts, and to feel that connection.

5. Emotional Support

Being a source of emotional support can go a long way in making a woman miss you. Here’s why:  

Providing a safe space for her to express her emotions can make her feel connected to you. This feeling of connection and validation she gets from you can linger even when you’re not around, making her long for your presence.

Emotional support can come in many forms – it could be offering a listening ear when she’s stressed, providing comfort when she’s sad, or sharing in her joy when she’s happy. 

The key is to be empathetic, understanding, and non-judgmental.

However, providing emotional support doesn’t mean taking on her problems as your own. It’s about being there for her, validating her feelings, and helping her navigate her emotions in a healthy way. 

6. Maintain Your Independence

How to pull away to make her want you

While being in a relationship often involves a deep emotional connection, it’s equally important to maintain your own independence. 

Maintaining your individuality can actually make you more appealing and make a woman miss you more when you’re not around.


Being independent shows that you’re confident and capable. It shows that while you enjoy being in a relationship, you’re not solely defined by it. This can be attractive as it demonstrates emotional maturity.

7. Consistent Communication

As Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist and best-selling author, pointed out, 

“The quality of our relationships is determined by the quality of our conversations.” 

Consistent communication doesn’t mean you need to be texting or calling her every hour. Rather, it’s about being reliable and consistent in your communication patterns. 

For instance, if you usually send her a good morning text, keep it up. It’s these little routines that can make her feel cherished and can make her miss you when they’re not there.

At the same time, remember to keep the communication meaningful. It’s not just about the quantity, but also about the quality. 

Share your thoughts, ask about her day, and show interest in her life. This type of communication leads to a deeper emotional connection, making her miss you more.

Key Takeaway 

The renowned psychiatrist and author M. Scott Peck sums up the essence of this article:

“True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision.”

Or, as philosopher, Alain de Botton also put it, “love is a skill, not just an enthusiasm.” It takes more than just impulses and feelings to keep the romance and thrill alive in a relationship. 

You need deliberate actions and decisions, such as maintaining mystery, creating memorable experiences, maintaining independence, etc.

These are not mere tricks but intentional efforts to build a deeper, more meaningful connection. 

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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