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Going through a breakup is tough. It’s even harder when that relationship leaves you feeling hurt and confused. 

Sometimes, it feels like your ex has messed up your mind, making everything else seem difficult. 

You might have lots of sad and angry feelings, and that’s totally normal. But remember, it’s possible to feel better and move on, even if it seems really hard right now.

This article is all about helping you do just that. We’re going to share some tips on how to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start feeling like your awesome self again. 

We’ve got some steps to share with you, like how to take care of yourself, find fun in being single and set goals for the kind of relationship you deserve in the future. 

Think of it as building a toolbox full of tools to fix your heart. By the end of this article, you’ll have a bunch of ideas on how to feel like your awesome self again. 

1. Avoid Rushing Into A New Relationship

Jumping into a new relationship too soon can be tempting. It might feel like a quick fix for loneliness or heartache, but taking time to heal fully is crucial. 

When you rush, there’s a risk of carrying unresolved feelings and issues into the new relationship, setting it up for problems from the start.

Focus instead on enjoying your own company and getting to know yourself better. This period of self-discovery can be incredibly rewarding and is an investment in your future happiness. 

It ensures that when you do decide to enter a new relationship, you’re doing so from a place of strength and wholeness, not desperation or loneliness.

Patience is key. Trust that the right person will come along when you’re truly ready, both emotionally and mentally. 

Until then, relish the journey of self-improvement and the freedom that comes with being single. Your future self will thank you for this time of growth and reflection.

2. Embrace the Healing Power of Time

woman reading by the window

One of the most straightforward paths to recovery lies in the understanding that time, indeed, heals. 

Initially, the notion might seem cliché, but there’s profound truth in the patience of allowing days, weeks, and months to mend the heart’s wounds. 

Every sunrise brings a little more strength, and every sunset marks the completion of another day you’ve bravely faced the world.

Leaning into routines can surprisingly fast-track this process. Establishing a daily schedule filled with work, hobbies, and social activities keeps the mind occupied and less prone to dwelling on the past. 

Before you know it, moments of joy start seeping through the cracks of a broken heart, hinting at the possibility of a life beyond the hurt.

Furthermore, permitting yourself to feel a full range of emotions during this period is crucial. 

Suppressing sadness or anger only delays healing. Acknowledging these feelings as valid responses to loss allows them to dissipate more naturally over time, making room for new experiences and emotions.

[Read: How To Set Boundaries With An Ex When In A New Relationship]

3. Reconnect with Your Core Self

After a tumultuous breakup, rediscovering who you are outside of the relationship becomes essential. 

Engaging in activities that reflect your true interests and passions can reignite the spark within. 

Whether it’s picking up an old hobby or exploring new ones, these pursuits can remind you of your uniqueness and value as an individual.

Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family also plays a significant role in this journey. 

These connections provide comfort and reassurance, reminding you that you’re not alone. Their presence helps rebuild the sense of self-worth that might have been eroded during the relationship.

Additionally, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can offer unbiased guidance and coping strategies to navigate through the emotional turmoil. 

They can assist in untangling the complex feelings and thoughts, paving the way for a clearer understanding of yourself and your needs.

4. Meditate On The Lessons You Learned From The Relationship

Reflecting on what you’ve learned from your past relationship can turn a painful experience into a valuable lesson. 

Meditation doesn’t just mean sitting quietly; it’s about digging deep into your experiences to understand what they’ve taught you. 

Maybe you’ve discovered more about what you need in a partner or learned how to communicate more effectively.

Taking time to really think about these lessons helps you grow. You start to see not just where things went wrong, but also how you’ve evolved because of them. 

Recognizing your growth can be empowering and can guide you in making healthier choices in the future.

Applying these lessons moving forward is the real test. It shows you’re not just aware of what you’ve learned but also committed to making changes. 

This commitment to growth ensures your past experiences strengthen, rather than hinder, your future relationships.

5. Enjoy Being Single

man exploring city

There’s something incredibly freeing about embracing your single status. It’s a time for you. 

Dive into your interests, pick up new hobbies, and go on adventures. When you’re not tied to someone else’s needs or schedules, you discover what truly makes you happy.

Seeing this period as an opportunity rather than a setback changes everything. It’s your chance to explore life on your terms. 

Want to take a spontaneous road trip? 

Go for it. Interested in trying out that weird painting class? Why not? Now’s the time.

Friendships often flourish when you’re single, too. Without the commitments of a relationship, you can invest more time in your friends and family, strengthening these important bonds. 

You’ll find that being single doesn’t mean being alone; it means being open to more connections and experiences.

[Also Read: 10 Ways Aquarius Act When Hurt]

6. Make A Promise To Yourself Never To Be In A Toxic Relationship

Committing to avoiding toxic relationships in the future is a powerful step toward self-respect. 

Recognize the red flags you might have missed or ignored before, like disrespect, constant criticism, or control issues. Knowing what you won’t tolerate sets a standard for what you truly deserve.

Writing down this promise can make it feel more concrete. List the qualities you want in a partner and the deal-breakers you won’t compromise on. 

Having this as a reference can help keep you grounded and remind you of your worth when you start dating again.

Most importantly, stick to this promise. You’ve seen the impact a harmful relationship can have on your well-being, so guarding your heart with these boundaries is both a form of self-love and an act of defiance against settling for less than you deserve.

7. Rebuild Yourself Emotionally

After a breakup, your emotions can feel like a shattered vase. Rebuilding yourself emotionally means picking up those pieces, one by one, and putting them back together

Start with self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge the strength it takes to recover from heartache.

Seeking joy in small things can also be a game-changer. Whether it’s a coffee from your favorite café or a walk in the park, these moments of happiness contribute to your emotional repair. 

They remind you that joy doesn’t only come from romantic love but from life itself.

Don’t rush the process. Emotional rebuilding takes time. Just like physical wounds, emotional ones need care and patience to heal. 

Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each step forward is a victory, a sign that you’re moving towards a happier, healthier you.

8. Cultivate a Positive Outlook on the Future

Setting small, achievable goals for yourself can create a sense of purpose and direction. 

Whether it’s career aspirations, personal development, or simply trying out a new hobby, these objectives give you something to look forward to.

Practicing gratitude is another powerful tool in this arsenal. By focusing on the aspects of your life that you’re thankful for, you shift your attention away from negative thoughts. 

This doesn’t mean ignoring the pain but rather balancing it with a recognition of the good that remains.

Remember that opening your heart again to new experiences and relationships is not a betrayal of what you’ve been through. 

Embracing vulnerability while protecting your well-being is a delicate balance, but it’s possible. Each step forward is a testament to your resilience and capacity for renewal.

9. Dive Into Physical Wellness

woman exercising

Getting your body moving can work wonders for your mental state. Exercise isn’t just about staying fit; it’s a powerful tool for clearing your mind and boosting your mood. 

When you work out, your body releases endorphins, chemicals that fight stress and pain. 

Whether you choose a jog in the park, a session at the gym, or a dance class, the key is to find joy in movement.

Eating well goes hand in hand with physical activity. Nourishing your body with healthy foods can improve your energy levels and overall sense of well-being. 

While it’s okay to indulge in comfort food occasionally, a balanced diet can help stabilize your mood and keep you feeling your best.

Don’t underestimate the power of a good night’s sleep, either. Rest plays a critical role in emotional resilience. 

Prioritizing sleep helps your mind and body recover from stress and prepares you to face new challenges with a fresh perspective.

10. Set Boundaries for Social Media Use

Social media can be a double-edged sword after a breakup. On one hand, it keeps you connected with friends and family. 

On the other, it can be a constant reminder of what you’re trying to move past. Taking a break or limiting your time on these platforms can help you avoid unnecessary pain.

Consider unfollowing or muting your ex to protect your heart from the sting of seeing their updates. 

Filling your feed with positive and uplifting content instead can make your online experience a source of inspiration and comfort.

Remember, comparing your healing process to others’ curated lives online is never fair to yourself. Everyone’s journey is unique, and social media rarely shows the full picture.

11. Embrace New Experiences

Stepping out of your comfort zone can be incredibly healing. 

Trying new things, whether it’s traveling to a place you’ve never been, attending a workshop, or simply trying a new restaurant, can add excitement and novelty to your life. 

These experiences can help you rediscover the joy of exploration and learning, independent of your past relationship.

New experiences also provide opportunities to meet people and expand your social circle. 

Building new relationships can remind you of the diverse connections waiting to be made, beyond romantic ones.

Plus, embracing new challenges can boost your confidence. Every time you try something new and succeed, you prove to yourself that you can adapt and grow, even in the face of adversity.

12. Volunteer Your Time

man volunteering for community service

Giving back to the community is a powerful way to shift focus from your own troubles to the needs of others. 

Volunteering can offer a sense of purpose and fulfillment that’s hard to find elsewhere. 

Whether you’re helping at a local shelter, tutoring kids, or participating in community clean-ups, making a difference in someone else’s life can be incredibly rewarding.

Engaging in volunteer work can also connect you with people who share similar values and interests, potentially leading to lasting friendships. 

Plus, the gratitude and appreciation you receive from those you help can significantly boost your self-esteem.

In essence, dedicating time to help others not only contributes to your recovery but also makes the world a little brighter for everyone involved.

FAQs 

How do you get over an ex who messed you up emotionally?

Getting over an ex who left you emotionally scarred involves giving yourself time and space to heal. 

Start by accepting your feelings as valid and allowing yourself to grieve the loss. Engaging in activities that boost your self-esteem and happiness can help shift your focus. 

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and don’t shy away from seeking professional help if the burden feels too heavy. 

Healing is a journey, so be patient and kind to yourself along the way.

Is it normal to still think about my ex after a long time?

Yes, it’s normal to think about your ex even after a considerable amount of time has passed. 

Relationships leave a mark on us, and memories can resurface, triggered by various things. 

What’s important is how you handle these thoughts. Acknowledge them without letting them control your emotions or actions. 

Over time, and with positive activities and thoughts, these memories will hold less power over you.

How can I rebuild my self-esteem after a toxic relationship?

Rebuilding self-esteem after a toxic relationship starts with recognizing your worth and value independent of anyone else’s opinion. 

Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself and focus on your strengths and achievements. 

Positive affirmations, setting and achieving personal goals, and surrounding yourself with supportive people can significantly boost your self-confidence. 

Remember, you’re capable and deserving of love and respect.

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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