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If your first and second dates with someone went well, then the natural expectation is that a third date will follow in no time, right? 

Well, not always. Sometimes things don’t always unfold as we expect. And it’s even more puzzling when texts are still flying back and forth between you and your date, but there’s no mention of a third date. 

What does this mean, and how should you interpret it? We’ve compiled seven possible reasons why someone might keep texting you but not go on a third date yet. 

1. Enjoying the Chase

Remember those days at the playground, chasing each other around, laughter ringing in the air? This kind of thrill sometimes follows us into adulthood. The person you’re seeing may be enjoying the chase.

Sometimes, the thrill of the chase is so intoxicating that the chaser doesn’t rush to make concrete plans. They might not even be aware of this! It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not interested. It just means they’re basking in the excitement of the pursuit.

However, while it’s fun to engage in a chase, you need to understand where your boundaries lie. 

2. Busy Bees

No second date but still texting

Deadlines at work, family obligations, etc can sometimes overtake our agendas. So another reason behind texting but no third date could be that they’re genuinely busy. 

Consider the content and frequency of your text exchanges. Do they maintain a conversational, warm tone? Do they share snippets of their day with you? 

Such texts might indicate that they’re genuinely preoccupied but still want to keep the connection alive.

But, being “busy” shouldn’t become a chronic excuse. If you notice a pattern that continues for weeks, it’s alright to ask for clarity.

3. Taking it Slow

Some people prefer a slow and steady pace when it comes to dating. They might be cautious about jumping into anything serious too quickly.

Perhaps they are trying to create a foundation of understanding before stepping further into the relationship. It might be their way of ensuring that the connection isn’t merely superficial but has the potential for depth and longevity.

Although you should exercise some patience, it’s critical to ensure you’re comfortable with the pace. If you feel it’s too slow for your liking, make sure to express your feelings to them.

4. The Friendship Zone

No third date but still texting

In some instances, the other person might realize that while they enjoy your company, they are more interested in being friends. There are common behaviors that can show this is the case.

Check for shifts in the tone or subject matter of the conversations. Are they becoming more casual, friendly, and less romantic or flirtatious? Such a change could be a subtle hint that they’re steering the relationship towards a platonic zone.

Yet, friendships are not lesser relationships. They might not match the romantic expectations you had, but they can be equally fulfilling and meaningful.

5. Fear of Commitment

Some people grapple with commitment fears, and this could explain the absence of a third date. It might be that they’re wrestling with their own anxieties while trying to maintain the connection through texts.

Watch for signs in your text exchanges that indicate an aversion to commitment. 

Do they avoid discussing the future or become vague when the conversation veers that way? It could be an indication of their hesitation to move forward.

6. Keeping Options Open

Dating culture, especially with the advent of dating apps, often encourages people to keep their options open. The person you’re dating may also be seeing other people. 

The continuation of texts without a third date might mean that they’re trying to keep you in the loop while exploring other potential matches.

This isn’t necessarily a negative method. It’s quite common to date multiple people until you decide to be exclusive with someone. It’s all a part of finding the right person.

But if this doesn’t sit well with you, it’s important to voice your concerns. Everyone has the right to seek the dating method that works best for them.

7. Uncertainty

It could be that they enjoy your company but are unsure about taking the next step. The continuation of texting, therefore, could be a way to buy time while they figure things out.

While it’s natural to want to know where things stand, sometimes giving the other person some space to decide can be beneficial.

In the end, it’s all about understanding and communication. You have every right to ask where things are headed if the uncertainty becomes uncomfortable.

What to Do When There’s No Third Date But You’re Still Texting

When there's no third date but you're still chatting

It’s natural to question the direction in which your relationship is headed if you find yourself in a situation where there’s no third date but the texts still keep coming. 

However, there are a few steps you can take to clarify your position and possibly steer things back on track.

1. Reflect on Your Feelings

The first step is to sit back and reflect on your feelings. Ask yourself how you feel about this person, and if you’re interested in pursuing a deeper relationship with them?” 

Being honest with yourself is crucial. If you realize that you’re looking for more than what is currently being offered, that’s entirely okay. Similarly, if you find that you’re fine with how things are going, that’s also perfectly valid.

Understanding your emotions and what you want from the relationship will better equip you to deal with the situation. It will provide a solid starting point from which you can decide your next course of action.

2. Evaluate Their Actions

Once you’ve gauged your feelings, the next step is to pay close attention to their actions. Are they consistently attentive and responsive? Or do they only text when it’s convenient for them? Their behavior can give you a better understanding of their intentions.

Actions indeed speak louder than words, especially when it comes to dating. If their actions seem non-committal or inconsistent, it might indicate that they’re not as invested in the relationship as you might hope. 

On the other hand, if they’re making consistent efforts to maintain contact and show genuine interest in your life, it could signal that they value your connection.

3. Open Communication

Texting after second date. No third date.

If you’re comfortable and feel the time is right, express your concerns about the lack of a third date. Openness and honesty are essential for any successful relationship, even at the initial stages.

While initiating such a conversation may seem daunting, it’s better to express your feelings rather than leave them bottled up. 

You might say something like, “I’ve enjoyed our time together and our conversations. I was wondering if you’re interested in meeting up again?”. 

Remember to keep your tone friendly and casual to ensure they don’t feel cornered or pressured.

4. Patience is a Virtue

Patience can be challenging, especially when you’re excited about someone and eager to see where things could go. But sometimes, patience can be your greatest ally. If they’ve been busy, giving them time could result in that much-anticipated third date.

Don’t rush things. Let the relationship unfold naturally. If it’s meant to be, things will fall into place. 

But in all, prioritize your time and emotions. So while patience is important, don’t allow it to become a limitless ticket for someone to keep you in limbo indefinitely.

Remember, it’s okay to feel confused. Dating is a personal journey, and everyone navigates it differently. 

By reflecting on your feelings, evaluating their actions, communicating openly, and being patient, you can better understand your position and take the right steps towards a fulfilling relationship.


1. How long should I wait for the third date before moving on?

Unfortunately, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to this. The decision about when to move on really depends on your personal comfort level and your reading of the situation. 

If the person you’re seeing maintains consistent and engaging contact, expressing interest in your life, you might choose to wait a little longer.

But if you’ve communicated your wish for a third date and are continuously met with vague responses or delays, it might be time to consider moving on. 

The key is to strike a balance between patience and respect for your own needs and feelings.

2. Is it normal to continue texting without planning dates?

For some people, continuous texting without frequent dates might be their norm, especially in the early stages of getting to know each other. 

This might be because they enjoy the chase, they’re navigating life’s busy schedules, or they’re trying to take things slow.

While for others, this pattern could be a sign of fear of commitment, keeping options open, or simple uncertainty. 

Recognize that what’s “normal” varies greatly from person to person. Always focus on what feels comfortable and right for you, and communicate openly about your expectations.

3. What if they suggest a third date but keep postponing it?

If someone suggests a third date but keeps postponing it, they might genuinely be dealing with a packed schedule or unexpected life events. 

After all, we all face periods of chaos and unanticipated obligations. If they maintain regular, engaging contact, this could be a sign that their interest is genuine, but their timing is off.

But if you notice that this has become a recurring pattern over an extended period, it could indicate a lack of commitment or readiness to move forward. 

In such situations, be clear about your concerns. Make sure you’re not left hanging indefinitely, and that your feelings and time are respected.

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Anita Oge

Meet Anita, a relationship writer with a passion for helping people navigate the complexities of love and dating. With a background in information science, she has a wealth of knowledge and insight to share. Her writing is sure to leave you feeling empowered and inspired.

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