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Modern dating has become one shallow play where it seems uncool to show any form of deep, intense emotion. We now see the idea of being committed to one person as old-fashioned.

Who has time to miss anyone when they are talking to several other people while they are still in a relationship with you?

However, it is possible to still be unforgettable and have people miss you.

To be that person that anyone will miss when you are not around, there are some psychological tricks you can employ, of course, in addition to having a great personality. We all love to hang out with fun company.

So, what are these tricks?

1. The power of a signature scent

You probably know some people whose scent lingers even when they leave a place after spending time with you. As long as the scent stays, their names remain on your mind. This is one of the best ways to make anyone miss you.

You do not have to break your bank to do this. Pick out a scent that is unique. As the 19th-century french writer and novelist, Guy De Maupassant once said,

“In the course of time, a woman’s perfume is a more moving memory than a photograph of her”.

Well, who is better at things of passion and “parfum” than the French?

Leaving your scent on your lover’s pillow, shirt or bedspread is a classic move. Sometimes, it does not even have to be a perfume. It can be the scent of your shampoo, body wash, or cream jolting your partner’s memory as soon as they catch a whiff.

In platonic relationships, the scent that loved ones associate you with can be a brewing cup of masala tea or the smell of fresh bread. The welcoming smell and warmth of your home keep them missing you.

2. Be mysterious

Introverts naturally come off as mysterious because they say very little. And if you’re good-looking, this only adds to your charm.

Being mysterious can look like not sharing every little detail about what is going on in your life. Withhold some facts and ask more about others.

You will pique the curiosity of anyone with this trick. In this generation, we overshare. We almost can’t wait to dish out information, and most times, we do this in real-time. While the event is happening, we are sharing it live.

With this habit, most people will feel like they know all about you. But there is a way to share on social media that keeps the mystery alive. More on that in the next point.

Take an unannounced social media sabbatical and make a post with minimal content. People will wonder what you have been up to.

Your friends will miss your presence and await your next update, hoping for more information from you.

Here, let’s employ the principle “less is more”. Choose the trends you engage in carefully.

Dating expert James Preece says that people are often drawn to mystery when it comes to dating; I would stretch it to say this applies in general. 

3. Share social media updates

We all love to hang out with fun people, so take advantage of the curiosity of others and give them something to feed on.

As said earlier, keep it minimal. There’s a reason why social media updates like stories and statuses are limited to less than a minute. You get to give highlights and still have some mystery.

You do not necessarily have to be constantly out and about to share posts on social media.

Reuse old but fun videos, and create fun from the things around you, even if you go for a walk in your neighbourhood.

Create the impression that you are having a fantastic time, meeting impressive people, and that others are missing out.

Many people have FOMO, so they will take the bait. They will start missing you and wishing they were with you.

4. Purposefully leave something behind

Your belonging reminds anyone that you were there, so intentionally leave something behind whenever you spend time with people.

Do you wonder why some ladies “forget’ their earrings when they spend the night with a guy? Sometimes it’s intentional. It is all part of the game. The next time the guy sees these objects, he will think about the passionate lovemaking and snuggles he had with you.

You can play this in two ways, act like you “forgot” the item. It can be a bracelet, water bottle, or watch. These should be items you can do without daily.

The object left behind will give them fond memories of you and create a mental note that they will need to see you again soon to return the item.

Another way to do this is to write a note or get a gift you can give them before parting ways. It says, “I think of you”, and every time they see the item, they instantly think about you.

To show that they miss you and think about you, they may also get you a gift in return.

Final words

In general, people do not miss you if you are always there, up in their faces all the time. Whether in person or through social media, constant presence means there is no opportunity for them to miss you.

Therefore, create that space for them to miss you; get busy.

Pursue your hobbies. You will hardly have time to think about who is missing you if you are doing the things you love. Make a list of your hobbies and find out how you can learn more, take a course on it if you must, and do not be afraid to fail.

Exercise. Exercise fills you with happy hormones; endorphins. It boosts your mental, physical and emotional well-being and makes you confident. These attributes make you attractive, and you will have little time to worry about other people.

Yvonne Peters-Adzimah

Yvonne is passionate about ensuring that people live purposeful lives. She writes on topics of love, spirituality, healing from trauma, and personal growth. Yvonne holds a BA in Linguistics and an MA in Gender and Development. She loves to travel and spend time with her family.

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