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Have you ever wondered if you’re a nice person? 

Sometimes, it’s tough to look at ourselves and see the not-so-good parts. But it’s important to be honest about how we act with others. 

In this article, we’ll talk about different signs that might show you’re not being as nice as you could be. 

It’s not about feeling bad about yourself, but more about understanding how your actions affect those around you.

We all want to be better people, right? So, let’s dive into some common behaviors that aren’t very nice. 

If you find yourself doing these things, don’t worry. It’s a chance to learn and grow. By being aware of these signs, you can start to make changes that make you nicer to be around. 

1. You Talk Bad About People Behind Their Backs

Talking ill of others when they’re not around is a classic sign of not being a nice person. 

This behavior reflects a lack of integrity and respect. It’s easy to fall into the trap of gossip, especially when it feels like a way to connect with others. 

However, this false sense of connection is built on negativity and judgment. It’s important to remember that words have power

They can hurt and leave a lasting impact, even if the person you’re talking about never finds out.

This habit also says a lot about your trustworthiness. Friends and colleagues might start wondering what you say about them when they’re not around. This can damage relationships and tarnish your reputation. 

Instead of speaking badly about others, try finding positive things to say, or better yet, encourage direct communication. 

Building a habit of talking positively about people, or addressing issues directly with them, fosters a more honest and respectful environment.

2. You Lie A Lot

signs you're not nice

Frequent lying is another red flag. It might start small, perhaps twisting the truth to avoid uncomfortable situations or to make yourself look better. 

But these small lies can snowball, leading to bigger deceptions. Lying can become a habit, one that’s hard to break. 

It creates a foundation of distrust, and once people catch on that you’re not truthful, they’ll start questioning everything you say.

Living a lie is exhausting. It requires constant management of what you’ve said to whom, and the fear of getting caught can be stressful. 

Honesty, on the other hand, is liberating. Being truthful might not always be easy, but it builds strong, trust-based relationships. 

When you’re honest, people respect you more, even if the truth isn’t always pleasant. This doesn’t mean you have to be blunt or hurtful – there’s always a way to be honest with kindness and empathy.

3. Self-Centredness

Self-centredness is often mistaken for self-confidence, but there’s a significant difference. 

Being self-centered means you put your needs, opinions, and desires above everyone else’s consistently. 

It’s natural to think about your perspectives and needs, but problems arise when this becomes the only focus. 

Relationships are about give and take, and if you’re only taking, it won’t be long before people feel used and undervalued.

The irony of self-centredness is that while it may seem like a way to get your needs met, it often leads to loneliness. 

People around a self-centered person can feel neglected and unappreciated. Acknowledging and valuing others, showing empathy, and being interested in their lives creates deeper and more meaningful connections. 

Remember, life is richer and more fulfilling when shared with others who feel respected and valued.

[Read: 5 Signs Someone is Secretly Manipulative]

4. You Don’t Listen to Others

Not listening to others is a telltale sign of not being nice. 

When you’re in a conversation, and you’re just waiting for your turn to speak rather than genuinely listening, it’s a problem. This shows a lack of interest in what the other person has to say. 

Everyone wants to feel heard and understood, and failing to provide that basic respect can hurt your relationships. 

Active listening is more than just hearing words; it’s about understanding the message and showing empathy.

Imagine you’re telling someone about your day, and they’re not paying attention. How would that make you feel? Unimportant, perhaps? 

The same goes when you do it to others. People are more likely to open up and share with you if they know their words are valued. 

Listening isn’t just about being silent while someone else speaks; it’s about engaging, asking questions, and showing that you care about their thoughts and feelings.

5. You Never Apologize

Refusing to apologize, even when you’re clearly in the wrong, is a major red flag. It can be tough to admit mistakes – nobody’s perfect, and we all mess up sometimes. 

But acknowledging your errors and apologizing shows maturity and respect for others. It’s not just about saying “I’m sorry”; it’s about understanding the impact of your actions and taking responsibility for them.

Think about times when someone’s apology made a difference to you. It likely made you feel respected and that your feelings mattered. 

On the flip side, think about how it feels when someone refuses to apologize. It probably leaves you feeling frustrated and undervalued. 

Apologizing doesn’t make you weak; it makes you approachable and human. It’s a crucial part of maintaining healthy relationships and building trust.

6. You Rarely Offer Help

Never offering to help others is a sign of a not-so-nice person. Life is full of challenges, and we all need a helping hand sometimes. 

By ignoring others’ needs and focusing solely on yourself, you miss opportunities to connect and show kindness. 

Helping others isn’t just about big gestures; sometimes, it’s the small acts of kindness that count the most.

When you offer help, it shows that you’re considerate and caring. Think about how you feel when someone offers you assistance – it’s likely a mix of gratitude and appreciation. Offering help can strengthen relationships and build a sense of community. 

It’s about being there for others, just as you’d hope they’d be there for you in your time of need.

[Also Read: 8 Signs You’re Not Good-Looking (& What to Do About It)

7. You’re Quick to Judge

a judgmental person

It’s easy to form opinions based on first impressions or hearsay, but these snap judgments aren’t always accurate. 

Everyone has their own story, and judging without understanding can lead to misunderstandings and unfair assessments. 

Remember, you probably wouldn’t like it if others judged you without knowing the full story.

Instead of judging, try to approach situations with an open mind. Showing empathy and trying to understand where someone is coming from can change your perspective. 

It’s not about agreeing with everyone all the time but rather about giving people a fair chance. 

When you’re less judgmental, you open yourself up to diverse viewpoints and experiences, enriching your own life in the process.

8. You Break Promises Regularly

When you make a promise, people rely on you. They trust that you’ll do what you said you would. 

But if you’re always backing out last minute or forgetting your commitments, it sends a message that you don’t value others’ trust. It’s not just about the inconvenience caused; it’s about the disappointment and the erosion of trust.

Consider how you feel when someone breaks a promise to you. It’s disheartening, isn’t it? 

Now, think about the times you’ve done the same to others. Keeping your word is a cornerstone of integrity. 

Sure, unforeseen circumstances happen, but consistently failing to honor commitments is a habit worth breaking. 

Start small, make promises you know you can keep, and work your way up from there.

9. You Lack Empathy

A lack of empathy is a significant sign of not being a nice person. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. 

It’s what makes us connect on a deeper level. Without empathy, interactions remain superficial, and relationships lack depth. 

When you can’t or won’t put yourself in someone else’s shoes, it’s challenging to build meaningful connections.

Think about a time when someone showed you genuine empathy. It felt good, right? You probably felt understood and cared for. 

Now, flip that scenario. Imagine not showing that understanding to someone who needs it. 

By developing empathy, you not only improve your relationships but also grow as a person. It’s about seeing beyond yourself and recognizing the emotions and struggles of others.

10. You’re Often Disrespectful

Respect is a fundamental aspect of all healthy relationships. It’s about acknowledging the worth and feelings of others. 

Disrespect can take many forms, like talking down to someone, ignoring their opinions, or making fun of their beliefs. These actions create an environment of negativity and hostility.

Respect isn’t about agreeing with everyone all the time. It’s about how you handle disagreements and differences. 

You can have a different opinion and still be respectful. Remember, everyone wants to be treated with dignity. 

By showing respect, even in challenging situations, you foster a positive atmosphere and encourage others to do the same.

11. You’re Overly Critical

It’s one thing to offer constructive feedback; it’s another to constantly criticize everything. 

When your default reaction is to find fault, it can be demoralizing for those around you. 

This behavior often stems from a desire for perfection or an attempt to control situations, but it usually backfires, creating resentment and defensiveness.

Imagine how it feels to be constantly criticized. It’s discouraging, isn’t it? Now, think about the impact your words have on others. 

Instead of jumping to criticism, try to find positives or offer helpful suggestions. It’s about striking a balance. 

Constructive feedback can be invaluable, but only when delivered in a kind and supportive manner.

12. You Ignore Boundaries

traits of a person that's not nice

Ignoring the boundaries of others is a glaring sign of not being a nice person. Boundaries are essential in all relationships. 

They help define what’s okay and what’s not, ensuring mutual respect and understanding. When someone ignores these boundaries, it can feel invasive and disrespectful. It shows a lack of concern for the other person’s comfort and well-being. 

Whether it’s persistently calling late at night, borrowing things without asking, or pushing someone to share personal details, it all counts as boundary crossing.

Think about how it feels when someone disregards your boundaries. It’s unsettling, right? Now, consider the times you might have crossed the line with someone else. 

Respecting boundaries isn’t just about following rules; it’s about acknowledging and valuing others’ feelings and needs. 

Recognizing and respecting boundaries, both yours and others’, is key to maintaining healthy and harmonious relationships.


How do you know if someone is not a nice person?

To tell if someone isn’t nice, watch how they act with others. Are they mean or rude? Do they always talk about themselves and never listen? Or maybe they break promises a lot. 

If they do things like this often, it might mean they’re not very nice. Remember, everyone can have a bad day, but if someone is usually acting this way, it’s a sign they might not be a nice person.

How do I know if I am a nice person?

Figuring out if you’re a nice person can be simple. Think about how you treat people. 

Do you listen when they talk? Are you kind and helpful? Do you say sorry when you make mistakes? 

If you do these things, you’re probably a nice person. Being nice means caring about others’ feelings and being kind and respectful.

How can I become a nicer person?

Becoming nicer is all about changing small things in how you act. Start by listening more to people and caring about their feelings. 

Try to help out when you can and be kind in your words and actions. If you make a mistake, say sorry. 

And remember, it’s important to be patient and understanding with others. These small changes can make a big difference in how nice you are.

Why is it important to be nice?

Being nice is important because it makes life better for everyone. When you’re nice, you make others feel good, and they are more likely to be nice back. 

This creates a happier and friendlier environment for everyone. Plus, being nice makes you feel good about yourself. It’s a win-win!

Can someone change from not being nice to being nice?

Yes, someone can definitely change from not being nice to being nice. It takes some effort and willingness to change. 

If a person realizes they’re not acting nicely and decides to work on it, they can become nicer. 

It’s about being more aware of how you treat others and making positive changes in your behavior. Everyone has the chance to grow and become a better person.

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Anita Oge

Meet Anita, a relationship writer with a passion for helping people navigate the complexities of love and dating. With a background in information science, she has a wealth of knowledge and insight to share. Her writing is sure to leave you feeling empowered and inspired.

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