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Sometimes, figuring out whether to stick with a relationship can be really tough. 

You might have lots of good memories with him, but also feel like something isn’t right. 

If you’re starting to feel more down than up when you’re with him, it might be time to think about what’s really going on.

It can be tough to know when it’s time to stop caring so much about someone who isn’t treating you right. 

That’s why we’ve put together a list of signs that might mean it’s time to rethink your relationship.

Sometimes, the signs can be clear, like if he lies to you or doesn’t show you the respect you deserve. 

Other times, they might be less obvious, like if he’s always thinking about himself or doesn’t support your dreams. 

Knowing these signs can help you understand how healthy your relationship is.

In this article, we’ll go through 12 signs that it’s time to care less about him and more about yourself. 

These signs will help you see if your relationship is really working or if you might be better off moving on. 

It’s all about making sure you’re valued and treated well. Let’s take a look at these signs, so you can make the best choice for your happiness.

1. He’s Selfish

When someone is selfish, they often think only about what they want, not what you need. 

This can show up in many ways, like always choosing where you go out or deciding how to spend your time together without asking for your input. 

A relationship is a two-way street, so both people must get to make decisions.

Selfishness can also mean he doesn’t share things with you, whether it’s something as simple as sharing food or as important as sharing feelings and thoughts. 

Sharing is a way to show you care about someone else’s happiness, not just your own. 

When you feel like you’re giving more than you’re getting back, it’s a sign he might be too focused on himself.

Notice too if he takes more from the relationship than he gives. Does he expect you to support him, but isn’t there when you need support? 

This imbalance creates a feeling of being unappreciated and can drain your energy and happiness.

2. He Lies to You

a lying boyfriend

When someone lies to you, it’s a clear sign they don’t have respect for your feelings or the truth. 

Lies can range from tiny fibs to big deceptions, and they all chip away at trust. Without trust, a relationship can’t grow strong and healthy. 

So, noticing that he lies to you, even about small things, should raise a red flag.

Lies can make you feel unsure about what’s real and what’s not. That constant doubt is exhausting and stressful. 

You deserve honesty in your relationships, allowing you to feel secure and valued. 

When lying becomes a pattern, it’s more than just a bad habit—it’s a sign that he’s not taking your relationship seriously.

Feeling like you’re always trying to catch him in a lie or worrying about what’s true shows that the relationship is unbalanced. 

You spend more energy on suspicion and frustration than on enjoying time together. A relationship should bring joy and peace into your life, not confusion and insecurity.

3. He Plays Mind Games

Playing mind games is a big red flag in any relationship. 

When someone plays mind games, they use words and actions to confuse or manipulate you. 

This might look like him not being clear about his feelings, or him saying one thing but doing another. 

It’s like he’s trying to keep you guessing instead of being honest and straightforward.

Mind games can also involve him making you doubt yourself. He might compliment you one day and criticize you the next, making you unsure about where you stand with him. 

This kind of behavior can be really confusing and is often used to keep control in the relationship.

You should feel secure and loved, not confused and anxious. Relationships are supposed to be built on trust and openness, not games and manipulation. 

If you find that you’re often left feeling unsettled or questioning his intentions, it could be a sign that he’s not being fair or healthy in the way he’s interacting with you.

[Also Read: 7 Reasons Why You Feel Exhausted In Your Relationship, According to Psychologists]

4. He’s Unreliable

a woman and his unreliable boyfriend

When someone is unreliable, they don’t show up when you need them. 

Maybe he says he’ll be somewhere and then isn’t, or he forgets about plans you made together. 

Counting on him becomes hard because you never know if he’ll follow through. Everyone needs someone they can depend on, especially in a relationship.

Being unreliable isn’t just about not being punctual; it’s also about not being consistent. 

You might feel okay one day because he does what he promised, but then feel let down the next day because he doesn’t. 

This inconsistency makes it tough to feel secure with him.

You deserve someone who sticks by their word and is there for you, just like you’re there for them. 

Feeling like you’re the only one making an effort shows that the balance is off, and that’s not fair to you.

5. He Ignores Your Feelings

When someone ignores your feelings, it feels like they don’t care about what makes you happy or sad. 

Maybe you tell him something that upset you and he brushes it off, or he doesn’t ask how you’re feeling even when it’s obvious you’re not okay. 

This can make you feel like your emotions aren’t important to him.

Ignoring your feelings can also show up in how he reacts to your worries. 

Maybe you’re concerned about something in the relationship, and instead of trying to solve it together, he dismisses it or makes you feel like you’re overreacting. 

That’s not supportive or loving.

Feeling heard and understood is a big part of feeling loved. 

You should be with someone who listens to your worries and works with you to make things better, not someone who ignores how you feel.

6. He Doesn’t Respect You

When someone doesn’t respect you, they might ignore your opinions, talk down to you, or make you feel small with their words or actions. 

These behaviors are not only hurtful but also a sign that he doesn’t value you as an equal partner.

If he interrupts you often, dismisses your ideas before you even finish speaking, or makes decisions that affect both of you without consulting you, these are indicators of a lack of respect. 

Everyone deserves to be heard and have their feelings considered. When you don’t feel respected, it’s difficult to maintain self-esteem and confidence in your interactions with him.

Moreover, a lack of respect can show up in how he treats you in front of others. 

If he jokes at your expense, criticizes you, or does not defend you when others put you down, it undermines your relationship. 

A partner who respects you will want to lift you up, not pull you down.

[Read: 10 Signs He Wants You To Stop Texting Him]

7. He Doesn’t Value You

man who doesn't value his woman

Valuing someone means appreciating their qualities and understanding their importance in your life. 

If he doesn’t value you, you might feel like you’re always the last priority. His disregard for your time, efforts, or feelings is a sign that he’s not fully committed to what you share.

You might notice that he doesn’t make time for you, forgets important dates, or doesn’t put effort into making you feel special. 

These actions indicate a lack of appreciation for what you bring to the relationship. 

Everyone wants to feel cherished and important to their partner. Without that feeling of being valued, it’s tough to sustain a happy, fulfilling relationship.

Additionally, not valuing you might manifest in how he talks about your achievements or dreams. 

If he downplays your successes or doesn’t support your goals, it shows a lack of interest in your personal growth and happiness. 

A supportive partner should celebrate your wins and encourage your ambitions, not diminish them.

8. He Doesn’t Support Your Goals

When someone loves you, they cheer you on and hope you succeed in everything you do. 

A partner who doesn’t support your goals might make you feel like your dreams aren’t important. 

Maybe he talks you out of ideas you’re excited about or doesn’t show up when you have important events.

Support can be as simple as listening to you talk about your day or as big as helping you prepare for a job interview. 

When you notice that he isn’t there to give you a boost or even actively discourages you, it’s hurtful and can make you doubt your own abilities and dreams.

Your partner should be your biggest fan, not someone who makes achieving your goals harder. When encouragement is missing, it feels like you’re on your team all by yourself.

9. He Breaks Promises

guy who breaks promises

Trust builds when someone keeps their promises. When he doesn’t follow through on what he says he’ll do, it can make you feel unimportant and forgotten. 

Whether it’s small promises, like saying he’ll call you back, or big ones, like promising to be there for a special event, breaking them hurts.

Repeatedly breaking promises shows a lack of commitment and reliability. You start to wonder whether you can count on him for anything at all. 

Dependability is key in relationships because it creates a sense of security and trust.

Feeling like you can’t rely on him to keep his word means your trust in him will start to break down. 

Without trust, feeling secure and connected in the relationship becomes really difficult.

[Interesting: 9 Signs Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Respect You]

10. He Avoids Communication

Avoiding hard conversations shows a lack of maturity and a reluctance to deal with issues head-on.

When he avoids talking about things that matter, whether it’s how he feels or discussing a problem, it can make you feel like you’re not worth the effort. 

Sometimes, he might shut down, walk away, or change the subject when things get serious. 

This leaves issues unresolved and can make you feel frustrated and alone in dealing with relationship problems. Communication should bring you closer, not create more distance.

Also, note how he responds when you try to start a conversation. Is he dismissive or does he listen? Feeling unheard is a sign that communication is one-sided, which is not healthy for any relationship.

11. He’s Inconsiderate

Being inconsiderate means he doesn’t think about how his actions affect you. Maybe he makes a mess and doesn’t clean it up, or he uses things without asking. 

These actions might seem small, but they add up and show a lack of respect for you and your space.

Inconsiderate behavior can also be about not thinking ahead. 

For example, if he knows you have a busy day and doesn’t offer to help, or if he invites friends over without checking with you first. 

These actions can make you feel like he doesn’t value your time or your feelings.

You deserve someone who thinks about your needs and treats you with respect. Someone who is considerate will make your life easier, not harder.

12. He Takes More Than He Gives

In a balanced relationship, both people give and take equally. 

But if you notice that you’re always the one giving—whether it’s your time, energy, or even money—and he’s always taking, that’s not a good sign. 

This imbalance can make you feel exhausted and unappreciated.

Giving more than you get can also show up in emotional ways. Maybe you’re always the one comforting him, but when you need comfort, he’s not there. 

Or you’re always making sacrifices for his needs without him recognizing or appreciating your efforts.

Relationships should be about mutual support and appreciation. You should feel like your partner values what you do for them and that they’re willing to do the same for you. 

When that doesn’t happen, it might be time to rethink if this is the right relationship for you.

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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