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Entering a new relationship isn’t just about getting to know your partner; it’s about introducing yourself to a whole new world, especially when it comes to their family. 

And one of the most critical connections you might be looking to develop is with your boyfriend’s mother. 

While some are lucky to have supportive and welcoming in-laws right from the start, others might encounter a few hurdles along the way.

For many, building a bond with a boyfriend’s mom is essential. After all, she holds a significant place in his life. But what happens if you sense some resistance from her side? 

A lack of warmth, perhaps, or subtle indications that you might not be her favorite person. 

It can feel disheartening and challenging, especially when you’re trying to merge two worlds together.

In this article, we’ll explore ten signs that might indicate your boyfriend’s mom isn’t entirely on board with you. Let’s get started: 

1. She Doesn’t Engage in Conversation.

One of the initial signs that your boyfriend’s mom might not be fond of you is her lack of interest in engaging with you. 

You might be sitting at the dinner table or in a family gathering, and despite your attempts to strike up a conversation, she remains cold and detached. 

During moments when you’re sharing something about yourself, maybe a personal anecdote or a story, she might seem disinterested, cutting you off or barely reacting. 

Contrast this with how she might behave with others around her. 

If she’s lively and talkative with others but shuts down around you, there’s a good chance her feelings towards you are less than positive.

2. She’s Overly Critical of You.

signs your boyfriend's mom doesn't like you

It’s not unusual for moms to be protective and a little skeptical about their son’s partners. However, there’s a clear line between being protective and being overtly critical. 

For instance, she might make snide remarks about your dress sense, career choice, or even cooking. 

These criticisms might seem insignificant at first, but when they are consistent, they paint a clearer picture.

Such criticism can take a toll on your self-esteem. But it’s important to remember that her criticisms might be more of a reflection on her and not you. 

While it’s okay for her to have reservations, it’s not okay for her to constantly put you down or make you feel inadequate.

In more subtle scenarios, she might compare you to your boyfriend’s ex or to other women she admires. 

This kind of indirect criticism can be just as hurtful and speaks volumes about her true feelings towards you.

3. She Excludes You From Family Plans.

Let’s say there are family outings or get-togethers, and you’re always the last to know or sometimes not even invited. 

It’s as though there’s an invisible barrier preventing you from being fully integrated into the family circle.

Such exclusion can be blatant or subtle. For instance, you might find out about a family trip only when it’s mentioned in passing or when you see photos of it later. 

Or there might be occasions where everyone else gets an invite, and you’re just conspicuously left out.

Being excluded not only affects your relationship with her but can also create tension between you and your boyfriend. 

It’s important to communicate how you feel with your partner and navigate such situations together.

[Interesting: 7 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Text You Much Anymore]

4. She Never Acknowledges Your Milestones.

Life is full of moments to celebrate, whether it’s a new job, graduation, or even smaller achievements. 

If she never acknowledges or celebrates your milestones, this might be a sign she doesn’t think much of you. 

Everyone expects a certain level of enthusiasm from those around them, especially from family.

It can be disheartening when you achieve something, and she doesn’t even muster a congratulation or a simple nod. 

This lack of acknowledgment can be a significant blow, especially if she’s enthusiastic about other family members’ achievements.

5. She’s Often Sarcastic or Passive-aggressive.

Sarcasm and passive aggression can be subtle ways of showing disdain. Instead of direct confrontations or clear criticisms, she might opt for backhanded compliments or sarcastic remarks. 

For instance, she might compliment you but in a way that’s meant to mock or belittle you.

Navigating through her sarcastic comments can be a challenge because on the surface, they might seem harmless or even playful. 

However, the undertones are what matter. If she’s consistently sarcastic or passive-aggressive towards you, it’s a reflection of her discomfort or dislike.

6. She Doesn’t Make an Effort to Know Your World.

signs your mother-in-law dislikes you

In many cultures and societies, when two individuals come together, it’s not just a union of them but of their families too. 

If she shows no interest in getting to know or meeting your family, it can be a significant sign. 

While it’s not mandatory for her to forge close bonds with your family, a basic level of interest is expected. 

Relationships thrive on mutual respect and understanding. 

If she’s disinterested in a significant part of your life – your family – it indicates her lack of respect or enthusiasm for your relationship with her son.

7. She Often Talks About His Ex or Other Potential Partners.

It’s quite a sting when she consistently brings up his ex or hints at other potential partners for him. By doing this, she might be indicating her preference for someone else over you. 

These conversations might seem casual, like reminiscing about the past or discussing someone they met at a party, but they’re loaded with meaning.

No one likes being compared, especially in a relationship. It’s a form of undermining that erodes confidence in the relationship. 

If she’s constantly talking about other potential partners, she might be trying to plant seeds of doubt in your mind or indirectly hinting at her dissatisfaction with your relationship with her son.

In such situations, it’s crucial to stay confident in your relationship and not let her words affect your bond with your boyfriend. 

Remember, it’s the relationship between you two that matters most, and external opinions, even from family, should not dictate its course.

8. She Seems Uninterested in Your stories.

what to do if your boyfriend's mom dislikes you

It’s natural to want to connect, especially with someone as crucial as your boyfriend’s mom. But her persistent disinterest speaks louder than words.

Imagine being in a scenario where you’re excitedly recounting a memory, and she cuts you off or diverts the conversation elsewhere. 

It doesn’t just put a damper on your mood, but it also sends a clear message: your stories and experiences don’t matter to her.

Navigating such situations can be tricky. But remember, seeking validation from someone unwilling to give it might not be worth the emotional toll. 

Instead, focus on those who genuinely care and are eager to hear your stories.

[Read: 8 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Never Takes You Out (& What to Do)

9. She Avoids Physical Gestures of Affection.

Consider this: you’re at a family gathering, and everyone is hugging or greeting each other warmly. But when it’s your turn, her hug is brief, cold, or even non-existent. 

Such moments can be incredibly telling. The absence of warmth and affection in her gestures can be a reflection of her feelings toward you.

Physical gestures, be it a warm hug, a pat on the back, or just a friendly touch, are universal signs of acceptance and affection. 

Yet, every time you try to initiate or reciprocate such gestures, she seems to pull away or avoid them altogether. 

It’s not about invading her personal space, but rather about those natural moments of human connection which she seems reluctant to partake in with you.

10. She Never Asks for Your Opinion.

When everyone’s opinion is sought after but yours, it can make you question your place and worth in the family dynamics. 

Being sidelined or overlooked isn’t pleasant, especially in matters that involve or affect you.

Let’s say the family is deciding where to go for dinner. Everyone’s preferences are taken into account except yours. 

Or perhaps there’s a discussion about a family trip, and your suggestions are brushed aside or ignored. 

Such instances are not just about the decisions themselves but about the underlying message: she doesn’t value your input.

Acknowledging someone’s opinion doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with it. But the mere act of asking and listening can mean the world. 

[Also Interesting: 13 Signs Your Boyfriend Wants You To Lose Weight]

What to Do When Your Boyfriend’s Mum Doesn’t Like You

how to make your boyfriend's mom like you

1. Talk to Her About Your Concerns

Have a heart-to-heart chat with your boyfriend. It’s essential he knows how you feel and that the two of you are on the same page. 

Sometimes, he might not even be aware of the subtle cues or interactions that made you feel unwelcome. 

Sharing your feelings ensures he’s in the loop and can potentially offer support or perspective.

Additionally, consider having a calm conversation with his mum. Approach the topic gently and express your desire to have a harmonious relationship with her. 

There might be misconceptions or past events affecting her perception of you. Discussing them openly might clear the air.

2. Try to Understand Why She Doesn’t Like You

Before jumping to conclusions or getting defensive, take a moment to step into her shoes. Maybe she’s protective of her son or perhaps has faced past experiences that make her wary of new people. 

Understanding her perspective doesn’t mean justifying any rudeness or unfair treatment, but it can provide clarity.

Now, consider self-reflection. Maybe, just maybe, there are certain behaviors or habits you exhibit that genuinely rub her the wrong way. 

We’re all human, and sometimes we unknowingly do things that might annoy others. 

By understanding what these are, you can make an informed decision on whether it’s something you want to work on or if it’s just a difference in personalities.

3. Change (If You Need to)

Change is a tricky word. It’s not about altering the core of who you are, but about tweaking behaviors that might be causing unnecessary tension. 

For instance, maybe she values punctuality and you often run late. In such cases, adjusting your timing isn’t a compromise on your personality but a small change that can make a big difference.

However, remember to only change aspects of yourself that you’re comfortable with. It’s not about bending over backwards to fit someone’s ideal but about growth and mutual respect. 

If after reflection, you realize that there are small things you can adjust without losing your essence, go for it. It can be a step towards harmony and a more peaceful relationship.

[Read: When Your Boyfriend Keeps Asking You For Money (7 Reasons & What to Do)

4. Focus on Strengthening Your Relationship

Ultimately, you’re in a relationship with your boyfriend, not his mum. While it’s lovely when families mesh seamlessly, it’s not always the reality. 

Concentrate on fortifying the bond you share with your partner. Engage in activities you both love, create cherished memories, and always prioritize open communication.

In doing so, you build a strong foundation that can withstand external pressures. Over time, as she witnesses the love and care between you two, it might soften her stance. 

Even if it doesn’t, remember the essence of your relationship is the bond you share with your boyfriend, not the approval of others.

Related Questions About Your Boyfriend’s Mom Not Liking You 

how to know if your mother-in-law hates you

How do I get my boyfriend’s mom to love me?

Building a loving relationship with your boyfriend’s mom requires patience, understanding, and genuine effort. Start by showing genuine interest in her life. 

Ask her about her hobbies, experiences, and memories. This will not only give her a chance to share but also demonstrate that you value her as an individual. 

Next, be authentic. While it might be tempting to present a version of yourself you believe she might like, long-term relationships are built on honesty and trust. 

So, be yourself, and let her get to know the real you.

What do you talk about with your boyfriend’s mom?

Engaging with your boyfriend’s mom can start with simple topics. Inquire about family traditions, her favorite recipes, or fun anecdotes about your boyfriend’s childhood. 

These subjects are not only safe but also allow her to share personal stories, strengthening your bond. 

Also, you can chat about shared interests. Whether it’s a TV show, book, or travel destination, finding common ground can lead to enriching conversations. 

What do you text your boyfriend’s mom for the first time?

Crafting that initial message is all about setting a positive tone. Consider something warm, yet not overly familiar. 

A simple, “Hello [her name], this is [your name]. I’ve heard so much about you from [boyfriend’s name]. I’m looking forward to getting to know you better!” strikes a balance between friendliness and respect. 

This kind of introduction acknowledges your connection through her son but also indicates your genuine interest in establishing a direct relationship with her.

[Related: How To Test Your Boyfriend’s Loyalty Over Text]

How can I handle disagreements with my boyfriend’s mom?

It’s natural for disagreements to occur in any relationship. When they arise with your boyfriend’s mom, approach them with a calm and understanding demeanor. 

Firstly, actively listen to her perspective without interrupting. By ensuring she feels heard, you lay the groundwork for a productive conversation. 

Then, express your viewpoint clearly but kindly, avoiding blame or antagonistic language. 

Emphasize your shared goal, which is usually the happiness of your boyfriend and harmony within the family. 

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Anita Oge

Meet Anita, a relationship writer with a passion for helping people navigate the complexities of love and dating. With a background in information science, she has a wealth of knowledge and insight to share. Her writing is sure to leave you feeling empowered and inspired.

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