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Most men have a hard time understanding women because they make all sorts of assumptions about what women want. 

The media, pop culture, and even societal expectations have often painted an inaccurate picture of women’s desires, leading to many misconceptions. 

However, the reality is often starkly different and much simpler if you understand what to look out for. Robert Greene said it best in The Art of Seduction, 

“Men do not understand how women think, and vice versa; each tries to make the other act more like a member of their own sex.” 

1. Extravagant Gifts

Expensive gifts don’t always equate to love. Sure, the diamond necklace you saw in the jewelry store window is stunning, but sometimes, it’s the little things that count.

A handpicked bouquet from the garden, a surprise breakfast in bed, or even just an evening dedicated to her favorite movie can make her day. 

These small, thoughtful gestures show that you’re paying attention to her likes and dislikes, and that’s what truly matters.

Contrary to popular belief, women don’t always want flashy, expensive items. 

In fact, a survey conducted by Harris Poll for Eventbrite in 2015 among 549 millennials found that 78% of millennials would rather spend money on experiences than things. 

The takeaway here? 

It’s not always about the price tag, but the sentiment behind it. If she’s really into art, perhaps a trip to an art museum or a painting class would be a more thoughtful gift than an expensive piece of jewelry.

In the end, the key is to understand your partner’s love language. Material gifts might mean a lot to some, but for others, quality time or acts of service hold more weight.

2. Unnecessary Machismo

Things men think women want but they don't

The concept of machismo — the strong, silent type who battles through life without showing any weakness. 

This might sound like an attractive prospect, but in reality, most women appreciate men who are comfortable expressing their emotions.

Let’s face it, we’re all human, and we all have our moments of vulnerability. It’s healthy to express your feelings and emotions, and it does not make you any less of a man.

If anything, it shows strength and maturity. Most women appreciate honesty and openness in a relationship, and that includes sharing feelings.

According to a study, men who express their emotions are seen as more relatable, warm, and friendly. 

Real strength lies not in hiding emotions, but in confronting and dealing with them.

3. Grand Gestures of Love

Men often believe women want over-the-top declarations of love straight out of a rom-com. 

It’s important to remember that while grand gestures may make for good cinema, in reality, they can often come across as inauthentic or overwhelming.

Let’s clear something up – love isn’t about skywriting her name or planning an elaborate surprise vacation. 

Sure, those things can be nice, but they aren’t necessary, and they aren’t the definition of love. In fact, they might even create unnecessary pressure.

In a survey conducted by eHarmony, most women said they were happy with relationships that included small acts of kindness like making coffee in the morning or leaving sweet notes. 

Women value emotional connection and authentic expression of feelings more than grand gestures. Love is about understanding, patience, and being there for each other during the good times and the bad.

4. The “Bad Boy” Persona

Things men think will make them attractive to women

The bad boy trope has been around for decades, glamorized in movies, TV shows, and novels. But the reality is far from it. 

While the allure of danger and excitement might seem appealing, most women are looking for stability, respect, and emotional understanding in a relationship.

Bad boys are often depicted as emotionally unavailable, non-committal, or even disrespectful. These are not the qualities women look for in a long-term partner. 

Women might be initially attracted to the bad boy persona, but for lasting relationships, kindness is often rated as one of the most important factors.

A healthy relationship involves respect, trust, and open communication. It’s about emotional availability and being supportive. 

So, rather than channeling the latest bad boy on screen, focus on being kind, understanding, and respectful.

5. Perfection

Women do not expect men to be perfect, sounds cliche, but a lot of men still don’t get it. 

Contrary to the flawless Hollywood leads or the idealized figures in magazines, real life is messy, and that’s okay. 

Perfection is an unattainable goal, and striving for it only leads to unnecessary stress and dissatisfaction.

Life is full of ups and downs. What matters is how you handle them. 

Do you communicate effectively during arguments? Are you there for her during difficult times? Do you make an effort to understand her perspective? These are the questions that matter.

Be yourself, with all your strengths and weaknesses, because that’s who she fell in love with.

6. Complete Dependency

Some men might think that women want a man they can be completely dependent on – emotionally, financially, or otherwise. 

But here’s the truth – a healthy relationship involves a balance of dependence and independence.

Every individual needs their own space and time, women included. Women value their independence and personal space in a relationship. This means having their own interests, hobbies, and time apart from their partner.

Remember, a relationship is a partnership. It’s about mutual support and growth, not dependency. So, encourage her individuality and support her in her interests. Balance is key to a healthy relationship.

7. The Ultimate Decision Maker

Being more attractive as a man

While it might seem chivalrous to make all the decisions, from where to go on a date to major life decisions, it can actually be quite suffocating. 

The belief that men need to take charge of every situation is an antiquated one. In reality, women appreciate being part of the decision-making process.

Women want their opinions and suggestions to be heard and considered. This doesn’t mean you can’t take the lead at times, but remember that a relationship is a partnership. It’s about mutual respect and consideration.

Don’t be afraid to ask for her opinion or involve her in decisions. It shows that you value her input and respect her perspective, which can only strengthen your relationship.

8. Always Agreeing with Her

While it’s great to respect her opinions and feelings, it’s equally important to have your own. Agreeing with everything she says or does just to keep the peace can actually be quite frustrating.

Healthy debate and discussion can be a positive thing. It shows that you’re engaged and that you value her perspective enough to consider it and challenge it. 

Remember, it’s okay to have different opinions. What’s important is how you handle those differences.

Successful couples don’t avoid conflict but manage it. 

Disagreements can lead to growth and a better understanding of each other. So, don’t shy away from expressing your opinion respectfully. It’s part of what makes you, you.

Key Takeaway 

Understanding what a woman truly wants often contradicts common stereotypes and assumptions. 

Women generally value authenticity, emotional connection, respect, and shared decision-making more than extravagant gifts, grand gestures, or a “bad boy” persona. 

They appreciate men who are able to express their emotions openly, and don’t necessarily want a man who always agrees with them.


  • All photos from freepik.com

Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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