A free use relationship is a type of partnership where both people have agreed that they can engage in sexual activity with each other whenever they want, without necessarily asking for explicit consent each time.
Now, hold up – before you jump to conclusions, this doesn’t mean that consent isn’t important.
On the contrary, in a free use relationship, the consent is given ahead of time, and it’s understood that it can be withdrawn at any moment.
It’s like having an open-door policy with your fridge for your partner – they don’t need to ask every time they want a snack; they just grab it.
But if you’re saving that last piece of cake for a special occasion, you’d let them know that it’s off-limits for now.
How Is A Free Use Relationship Different From The Norm?
So, what makes a free use relationship different from other relationships?
In many relationships, there’s an unspoken rule that you check in with your partner each time you want to get intimate.
“Is now a good time?” or “Are you in the mood?” are common questions.
In a free use relationship, this kind of checking in isn’t always necessary because you’ve both already agreed that it’s usually okay to go ahead.
Think about it like this: If you’re at a friend’s house and you want to grab a drink from the fridge, you’d usually ask, right?
In a free use relationship, you’ve got a standing invitation. It’s as if your partner has said, “Hey, anytime you’re thirsty, just help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge.”
The Key Characteristics of A Free Use Relationship
1. Pre-negotiated Consent
In a free use relationship, the green light for intimacy is given way before you hit the bedroom.
Think of it like a season pass to your favorite theme park; you can ride the rollercoaster anytime without buying a ticket every visit.
For example, Jane and John have a deal where John can initiate a cuddle session whenever he feels like it.
Jane’s cool with this because they’ve talked it over and she trusts him.
But it’s not a one-and-done deal. This consent is ongoing and can be updated or revoked at any time. It’s not a blanket permission slip.
If Jane’s not feeling great one day and doesn’t want to be touched, she can tell John, and that season pass gets put on hold, no questions asked.
[Read: How To Be Mature In A Long Distance Relationship]
2. Communication
Now, just because there’s a standing invitation doesn’t mean communication goes out the window. Actually, it’s the opposite.
For this kind of relationship to work, you need to be super clear with each other. That means talking about boundaries, likes, dislikes, and what’s off-limits.
It’s not a free-for-all; it’s a carefully negotiated arrangement that respects both partners’ comfort levels.
For example, let’s say you’re not feeling well, and you don’t want to be touched.
In a free use relationship, you’d tell your partner, “Hey, I’m not up for it right now,” and they’d back off, no questions asked.
That’s the trust and respect that this kind of relationship is built on.
3. Boundaries Are Key
Just because there’s an open invitation doesn’t mean it’s a free-for-all. Boundaries are super important.
Think of it as having a neighbor who’s said you can borrow tools from their shed anytime. You still wouldn’t take their brand-new chainsaw without making sure it’s okay first.
In the same way, a free use relationship has clear lines that you just don’t cross without express permission.
4. Trust Is Everything
You’ve got to have a ton of trust for this kind of relationship to work.
It’s like lending your car to your buddy; you trust they won’t bring it back with an empty tank or a new dent.
In a free use relationship, you trust your partner to respect you when you say “no” and to not push boundaries without a green light from you.
[Also Read: What Does ‘BBS’ Mean In A Relationship?]
5. Withdrawal of Consent
The power to pause or stop is always there. It’s like having a “stop” button on a game controller – you can hit it anytime you need a break.
In the same way, anyone in a free use relationship can change their mind and withdraw consent whenever they need to, no explanations required.
6. Emotional Understanding
Besides all the rules, a free use relationship needs a solid base of emotional understanding.
You have to really get how your partner feels and be in tune with their moods.
It’s like knowing exactly how your friend takes their coffee without them having to tell you – it shows you’re paying attention and you care.
7. Regular Review
Just because you start off one way doesn’t mean it’ll stay like that forever.
It’s good to regularly take a step back and see if the relationship is still meeting both your needs.
Consider it like a software update on your phone; sometimes you need to make adjustments to improve things and keep everything running smoothly.
8. The Trust Factor
Trust is huge in a free use relationship. You’ve got to trust that your partner will respect your boundaries and that they’ll speak up if they’re not into it at the moment.
It’s not a setup that works for everyone, and that’s okay. It requires a lot of confidence in each other and the relationship.
Imagine you’re borrowing your friend’s car. They trust you to use it responsibly, not to take it on a cross-country road trip without asking. That’s the level of trust we’re talking about.
A Free Use Relationship Isn’t for Everyone
It’s crystal clear that a free use relationship isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Some folks like the ritual of asking and giving consent each time – it’s part of the fun for them.
Others might find the idea of a free use relationship exciting because it adds a sense of spontaneity and availability.
But just like some people don’t like surprise parties, some won’t like surprise advances from their partner. It’s all about personal preference.
Keeping It Healthy
If you’re thinking a free use relationship might be right for you, remember that it needs to be healthy and respectful.
It’s not an excuse to ignore your partner’s feelings or to be inconsiderate. If at any point one of you isn’t feeling it, you should feel totally okay saying so.
Imagine if you had an all-you-can-eat pass at your favorite restaurant. Just because you can eat everything doesn’t mean you should, especially if you’re not hungry.
The same goes for a free use relationship – just because you can doesn’t mean you always go for it.
In Conclusion
A free use relationship is a unique arrangement that relies heavily on mutual consent, respect, and understanding.
It might seem out there for some, but for others, it’s just another way to express their trust and connection with their partner.
Remember, relationships come in all shapes and sizes, and what works for one couple might not work for another.
The key to any good relationship, free use or otherwise, is making sure everyone involved is happy, respected, and on the same page. And, like with anything else, it’s not set in stone.
People change, and the terms of your relationship can change too. What’s most important is that you keep talking, keep respecting each other, and keep making sure everyone’s needs are met.