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It’s happened to the best of us – you’re dating someone, things seem to be going great, and then suddenly the woman starts pulling away. 

Maybe she’s not responding to your texts as quickly, canceling plans more frequently, or just seems less interested in spending time with you. Whatever the signs may be, it’s a situation that can be confusing and frustrating for men.

When a woman pulls away, it’s natural to want to try and fix things. However, men often make mistakes that only push her further away.

In this article, we’ll explore some of the common mistakes that men make when a woman pulls away, and offer advice on how to handle the situation in a way that respects both yourself and the woman in question.

Mistake #1: The Panic Pass

This is when a man senses a woman pulling away and, instead of assessing the situation calmly, he gets into overdrive. 

He starts texting relentlessly, attempting surprise dates every other day, and even suddenly talking about moving in together after just a few dates. 

But here’s the thing: the Panic Pass almost never works. In fact, it usually has the opposite effect. Why?

Women can sense when a man is desperate, and it’s not an attractive quality. It can make them feel suffocated and overwhelmed, and it even pushes them further away.

So, if you find yourself in a situation where a woman is pulling away, take a deep breath and resist the urge to make the Panic Pass. 

Instead, take a step back and give her some space. Show her that you respect her boundaries and her feelings. This doesn’t mean you should give up on the relationship, but it does mean you should approach it with patience and understanding. 

Mistake #2: Clinginess

One mistake that many men make when a woman pulls away is getting too clingy. They might start bombarding her with texts and calls or trying to see her all the time. 

They fear she’s losing interest, or that they did something to push her away. It’s okay to feel these things, but don’t let them control you.

It’s understandable – you want to feel close to her and reassure yourself that everything is okay – but it can actually have the opposite effect. 

Don’t keep texting or calling her if she’s not responding. It’s okay to check in and see how she’s doing, but don’t make it a constant thing. Show her that you’re confident and independent and that you’re not reliant on her for your happiness.

Mistake #3: The Clueless Comeback

You’ve noticed she’s pulling away, and instead of trying to understand why, you assume it’s all about you. 

She’s not responding to your texts? She must be upset about the football game you watched with your friends last weekend. She’s been distant? Clearly, she’s bothered by that harmless joke you made.

Let’s get this straight: it’s not always about you. If a woman pulls away, it might be due to personal issues or stressors that have nothing to do with the relationship. 

Instead of making assumptions, try engaging in a conversation with her. As a mature person that you are, ask her what’s going on, and listen to her answer.

Mistake #4: The Ignore-and-Ignore

best thing to do when a girl pulls away
Image by Drazen Zigic from Freepik

This one’s a classic. She’s pulling away, and your reaction is… nothing. You ignore the signs, hoping they’ll disappear, and carry on as if everything is just peachy. 

The Ignore-and-Ignore is like driving a car with a blinking engine light – sooner or later, something’s going to break down.

If you’re noticing signs that she’s distancing herself, don’t just sweep them under the rug. Instead, acknowledge the situation and have a conversation about it. Ignoring the problem won’t make it disappear, but addressing it might help find a solution.

Mistake #5: The Revenge Retreat

This is when you notice her pulling away, so you decide to give her a taste of her own medicine and pull away yourself. It’s the relationship equivalent of a cold war, and let’s be honest, nobody wins in a cold war.

The revenge retreat comes from the idea that if the woman is pulling away, the man should do the same in order to make her realize what she’s missing out on. 

But let’s be real here. The Revenge Retreat is not a good strategy. It’s like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Sure, you might feel like you’re getting revenge by withdrawing your attention and affection, but in the end, you’re only hurting yourself.

Think about it: if you really care about the woman, do you really want to play these kinds of games? Do you really want to stoop to her level and try to make her jealous or regretful? That’s not how healthy relationships work.

Instead of retaliating, try empathizing. Understand that she might be going through something, and offer your support. Revenge might be sweet in movies, but in real life (and in relationships), it often leaves a bitter taste. 

Talk to her about how you’re feeling and why you think she’s pulling away. Try to understand her perspective and see if there’s anything you can do to address her concerns.

At the end of the day, the Revenge Retreat might make you feel like you’re in control, but it’s not a sustainable or healthy strategy for building a strong and loving relationship. So let’s leave the revenge tactics in the movies and focus on treating each other with respect and kindness.

Mistake #6: Acting Passive-Aggressive

Some men might think that acting passive-aggressively is a way to get the woman’s attention and make her come back to them. But in reality, it only makes things worse. 

Passive aggressiveness can take many forms. Maybe you start ignoring her messages, or you make snide comments when you do talk to her. Or you give her the silent treatment and make sarcastic comments to make her feel guilty.

Perhaps you act like everything is fine, but then you blow up at her for something trivial. Whatever the case may be, passive-aggressiveness is not a good way to handle the situation.

Here’s the thing: acting passive-aggressive is not going to make the woman suddenly realize how much she wants to be with you. 

It’s just going to make her uncomfortable and annoyed. No one likes being on the receiving end of passive-aggressive behavior, and it’s not going to make her want to come back to you.

This kind of behavior is toxic and will only push her further away. If you have a problem with something she’s doing, be upfront and communicate it in a respectful manner. Don’t resort to passive-aggressive behavior to try and get your way.

Mistake #7: Being Too Accommodating

When a woman starts pulling away, some men will try to be overly accommodating in an attempt to win her back. They might agree to everything she says or do things they’re not comfortable with just to keep her happy.

This approach might work in the short term, but it’s not sustainable. In the long run, it can make you look weak and desperate. And that’s not a good look on anyone. Eventually, you’ll become resentful and she’ll lose respect for you. 

So, what’s the solution? 

Well, it’s all about finding a balance. Of course, you want to make the woman happy, but not at the expense of your own happiness. Be true to yourself and don’t compromise your values or beliefs just to please someone else.

Mistake #8: Assuming the Worst

It’s easy to jump to conclusions when a woman pulls away. You might assume that she’s not interested in you anymore, or that she’s seeing someone else. However, these assumptions are often impulsive and out of place.

In most cases, a woman might pull away from you for reasons that have nothing to do with you. 

Instead of assuming the worst, try to communicate with her and ask her how she’s feeling. Be open about your own feelings, and give her the space to do the same. This will help you understand where she’s coming from and might even bring you closer together.

Bringing it All Together

The goal is to be rational, not impulsive. Remember, once you’re in the heat of things, the hardest thing to do is hold yourself back and think of the right step to take. Here’s a quick recap of these mistakes men often make when a woman pulls away:

  1. The Panic Pass: Overreacting and smothering her when she pulls away.
  2. Clinginess: Not respecting her space and constantly seeking reassurance.
  3. The Clueless Comeback: Misinterpreting her actions as being all about you.
  4. The Ignore-and-Ignore: Ignoring the signs of her distancing and hoping they disappear.
  5. The Revenge Retreat: Retaliating by pulling away yourself.
  6. Acting Passive-Aggressive: Showing resentment indirectly instead of addressing the issue.
  7. Being Too Accommodating: Overcompensating by agreeing to everything she says or wants.
  8. Assuming the Worst: Jumping to negative conclusions without understanding the situation.

Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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