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Reaching the third date is like hitting a new level in the early stages of dating. 

It’s an exciting phase where you’re past the initial awkwardness but still discovering new things about each other. 

This is the time when the first impressions have settled, and you’re starting to peel back the layers to understand who this person really is.

The third date often sets the tone for the potential future of the relationship. It’s a blend of comfort and curiosity, where you’re more relaxed around each other but still intrigued to know more. 

This stage can feel like a crossroads – deciding if you want to continue this journey together or part ways.

In this article, we dive into what the third date can mean, what should ideally happen, and how to navigate this crucial phase.

With that said, here are they key things that should ideally start happening by the third date: 

1. Deepening Your Conversations

By the time you’re on your third date, you should aim to deepen the conversation. 

You’ve likely covered the basics by now, so it’s a great opportunity to explore more meaningful topics. Share stories about your passions, discuss your aspirations, or open up about what genuinely makes you happy. 

These conversations can strengthen the emotional connection, revealing more about each other’s values and personalities.

Remember, though, deep doesn’t mean heavy or serious all the time. You can share funny childhood stories or quirky interests. 

The goal is to move beyond surface-level chats, allowing both of you to understand each other on a more personal level.

2. Exploring New Experiences Together

The third date is perfect for trying out something new together. Opt for an activity that neither of you has tried before. 

It could be as simple as attending a cooking class, going on a scenic hike, or exploring an art exhibit. 

Engaging in a new experience can break the routine and add an exciting element to your date.

Experiencing something novel together not only creates memorable moments but also allows you to see how you both adapt to new situations. 

It’s a chance to laugh, help each other out, and see different facets of each other’s personalities.

3. Gauging Your Comfort Levels

Notice if the conversation flows naturally and if you’re both comfortable sharing and listening. 

It’s important to feel relaxed and be yourself. If you’re constantly on edge or trying too hard to impress, it might be a sign to reassess how you feel about this budding relationship.

Comfort also means respecting each other’s boundaries. It’s okay if you’re not ready to share certain things. 

Being comfortable also involves understanding and respecting where the other person is at, emotionally and physically.

4. Discuss Expectations and Intentions

The third date can be a good time to start discussing expectations and intentions, but keep it light. 

You’re not planning a wedding here, just getting an idea of where you both stand. Is this heading towards a serious relationship, or are you both just enjoying the moment? 

There’s no right or wrong answer, as long as you’re honest and on the same page.

This chat doesn’t have to be a formal sit-down discussion. It can come up naturally during your conversations. 

Be open about what you’re looking for and listen to their perspective. This clarity can save a lot of guesswork and mixed signals as you move forward.

5. Have Fun

The date should still be about enjoying each other’s company and having a good time. 

Whether you’re laughing over a shared joke, enjoying a meal together, or simply taking a walk in the park, the focus should be on enjoying the moment.

Keep the atmosphere light and playful. Good vibes can make a huge difference in how you both perceive the date and each other. 

A third date filled with laughter and joy can often be a promising indicator of good things to come in your relationship.

6. Reflect on Your Feelings

Now is a good time to check in with yourself about how you feel. Are you excited to see this person? Do their messages bring a smile to your face? 

These emotions are key indicators of your interest level. It’s not just about how the dates go, but also about how you feel when you’re not together. 

Do you find yourself thinking about them, looking forward to the next meeting?

Your feelings can guide you in understanding the potential of this relationship. If you’re feeling lukewarm or indifferent, it might be a sign to reconsider. 

But if you’re buzzing with excitement and anticipation, it’s a good indication that you’re on the right track. Trust your gut feelings; they’re often more accurate than you think.

7. Observe Mutual Effort

Notice the effort both of you are putting into the dates. Are you both contributing ideas and making plans? It’s important that the effort is mutual. 

You don’t want to be the only one planning and initiating everything. Balanced effort shows that both parties are equally interested and invested in getting to know each other.

When both of you are contributing to the planning and execution of dates, it creates a sense of partnership. 

It’s a sign that you’re both taking this seriously and are willing to put in the work to make it enjoyable. This mutual investment is crucial for building a strong foundation for any potential relationship.

8. Share Personal Interests and Hobbies

Maybe there’s a hobby you’re passionate about, or a book series you’re engrossed in. 

Sharing these aspects of your life can give the other person a deeper understanding of who you are. It’s these unique traits and interests that set you apart and make you, well, you.

Inviting them to participate or showing interest in their hobbies is a great way to bond. Whether it’s a casual mention of a favorite band or an invitation to a local art exhibit, these personal touches can add depth to your conversations. 

It’s about finding those common interests or learning about new ones, building a connection that goes beyond surface-level interactions.

9. Discuss Future Date Ideas

Talking about future date ideas can be both exciting and telling. It shows that you’re both interested in seeing each other again and are eager to explore new experiences together. 

This could be planning to try a new restaurant or a day trip to a nearby town, discussing future plans can be a fun way to gauge your compatibility and interests.

This conversation is also a subtle way to confirm that both of you are interested in continuing to date. It sets a positive tone, indicating that you see potential in this relationship. 

Plus, it’s always fun to have something to look forward to together.

10. Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Cues

Pay close attention to non-verbal cues. Body language can tell you a lot about how someone feels. 

Are they making eye contact, leaning in when you speak, or smiling genuinely? These signs can indicate interest and comfort. 

On the flip side, if they seem distracted, closed off, or disengaged, it might suggest discomfort or disinterest.

Non-verbal cues complement the conversation and can give you insight into their feelings. It’s about noticing those little things – the way they light up when talking about a certain topic or the nervous excitement in their gestures. 

These subtle signals can be incredibly telling about the chemistry and connection between you two.

11. Show Genuine Interest in Their Life

By now, showing a genuine interest in their life is key. Ask about their day-to-day life, their work, their friends, and what they enjoy doing in their free time. 

Listen attentively. It’s one thing to ask questions, but actively listening and engaging with their responses shows that you care.

This interest should go both ways. It’s equally important for them to show interest in your life. A balanced conversation, where both parties are genuinely engaged, builds a stronger connection. 

It’s not just about filling the silence, but about wanting to know and understand each other better.

12. Be Open to Physical Affection, If Comfortable

when she kisses your neck

Physical affection, like holding hands or a warm hug, can naturally find its place on a third date, but only if both of you are comfortable. 

It’s a non-verbal way to express your growing interest and comfort with each other. A touch on the arm or a casual brush can send a message of affection.

However, respect for each other’s boundaries is crucial. Comfort levels with physical affection vary for everyone. 

It’s okay to take things slow or to communicate if you’re not ready for physical closeness. The key is to move at a pace that feels right for both of you.

13. Discuss Life Philosophies

A third date can be an appropriate time to lightly touch on life philosophies. This doesn’t mean diving into heavy existential debates, but rather sharing views on topics like work-life balance, travel, or personal growth. 

These conversations can reveal a lot about your compatibility and long-term potential.

Understanding each other’s outlook on life can be enlightening. It helps in understanding how you both approach life’s challenges and joys. 

Agreeing on everything isn’t necessary; in fact, differing perspectives can add depth to your relationship. What matters is the respect and openness with which you discuss these views.

14. Plan Something Casual

While the first two dates might have been about impressing each other, the third date can be more casual. 

This shift can help both of you relax and be yourselves. A casual setting, like a coffee shop or a simple walk in the park, can be perfect for this.

A relaxed environment can make it easier to open up and have genuine conversations. It’s less about the setting and more about the comfort and ease in each other’s company. 

Besides, casual dates often come with less pressure, making it easier to enjoy each other’s company without the bells and whistles.


The third date is a fantastic opportunity to deepen your connection, try new things, gauge your comfort levels, discuss future intentions, and most importantly, have fun. Every date is unique, just like every relationship. So, while it’s great to have some guidelines, always remember to let the natural chemistry and mutual interests guide you.


How Soon Should You Plan the Third Date?

Planning the third date often depends on how the first two went. If you both felt a strong connection and are eager to see each other again, it’s perfectly fine to plan the third date soon after the second one. 

Some people prefer to wait a bit longer to build anticipation or due to busy schedules. The key is to go with a pace that feels comfortable for both of you. If you’re both excited and available, why wait?

Is It Normal to Feel Nervous Before the Third Date?

Absolutely, it’s normal to feel a bit nervous before a third date. This stage often means you’re both genuinely interested in each other, and the stakes might feel higher. 

It’s a good sign – being nervous means you care about how it goes. Just remember, it’s likely the other person might be feeling the same way

Take a deep breath and approach the date with a positive mindset.

Should You Discuss Past Relationships on the Third Date?

Discussing past relationships on the third date can be tricky. It’s usually best to keep the conversation light and not delve too deeply into past romantic experiences at this stage. 

If the topic comes up naturally and you both feel comfortable, then it’s okay to touch on it briefly. 

However, the main focus should be on getting to know each other and building your own connection.

How Do You Know If the Third Date Went Well?

You can usually tell the third date went well if there was easy, comfortable conversation, mutual interest, and a desire to meet again. If you both were laughing, sharing, and the time seemed to fly by, these are great signs. 

After the date, if you find yourself thinking about the person and looking forward to the next meeting, it’s a good indication that things are moving in a positive direction.

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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