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In this article, we’ll dive into the reasons why some people seem to attract broken people and explore what it means for you if you find yourself in this situation.

Have you ever noticed that certain people seem to attract broken individuals into their lives? 

Whether it be in romantic relationships, friendships, or even in the workplace, these people seem to be magnets for individuals who are struggling emotionally or mentally. 

But why is this the case? 

First of all, it’s important to understand that everyone has their own set of emotional baggage. We all have our struggles and issues that we’re working through, and it’s natural to be drawn to people who understand and relate to our experiences. 

For some people, this means that they’re more likely to attract broken individuals because they’re able to empathize with their struggles and offer support. 

Additionally, some people may have a tendency to take on the emotional burdens of others, which can make them more likely to attract broken people. 

They may feel a sense of responsibility to help others and may not be able to say no when someone needs support. This can lead to them being overwhelmed and taken advantage of, but it can also be a fulfilling and rewarding experience for those who can help others.

1.  Lack of self-awareness 

When we don’t have a strong sense of self-worth and confidence, we tend to put ourselves in situations where we’re not being respected or treated well. We might think that we don’t deserve anything better, so we settle for less. 

Unfortunately, broken people are often the ones who are looking for someone to settle for less with. It’s like a magnet, you know? They can sense that you’re not feeling too good about yourself, and they’ll swoop in and take advantage of that. 

They’ll make you feel like you’re the only one who understands them, the only one who can help them, and before you know it, you’re in a toxic relationship that’s draining all the life out of you.

But it’s not just relationships, either. It can be friendships, too. 

Broken people tend to attract other broken people, and if you’re not feeling too good about yourself, you might find yourself in a group of friends who are always negative, always complaining, and always dragging you down.

So, if you’re finding yourself in a pattern of attracting broken people, it might be time to take a step back and look at yourself. Ask yourself if you’re happy with who you are and what you’re doing. 

If the answer is no, then it’s time to start working on yourself. Build your self-esteem, surround yourself with positive, healthy people, and don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. Because you are amazing, and you deserve the best.

2. Poor self-image 

This point may sound similar to the one aforementioned, but they have certain differences. While both terms refer to the perception of oneself, they focus on different aspects of self-perception. 

Lack of self-awareness is more about the ability to understand oneself and one’s patterns, while poor self-image is more about the perception of oneself as negative or inadequate.

Having a bad perception of oneself can make it hard to believe that anyone else could love and accept you. So, you might find yourself attracted to people who are also struggling, or who are broken in some way.

Let me explain – if you’re carrying around a heavy backpack filled with all your insecurities and doubts, it can be hard to spot someone who’s carrying a lighter load. 

But, when you come across someone who’s lugging around their baggage, it can feel like a relief, like you’re not alone in your struggles. Like you’ve found someone who has something in common with you. 

It’s like a magnet, the more weight you carry the more you attract those who have similar weight. And, unfortunately, when you’re both carrying all that weight, it can be hard to lift each other and move forward together.

It can be a vicious cycle because being in relationships with broken people can also further damage your self-image. If you’re constantly being told that you’re not good enough or that you’re not loved, it can be hard to shake those feelings and start to see yourself in a more positive light.

[Also read: 10 Signs You Should Stay Away From Someone]

3. Need for control 

So, the “need for control” refers to a psychological tendency where a person feels compelled to exert power and authority over their environment and the people in it. This can manifest in many different ways, but one way it might manifest is in relationships.

You may find these types of people attracted to people who are “broken” in some way – perhaps they’re emotionally fragile, or maybe they’re dealing with addiction or other personal issues. 

The person may see this as an opportunity for him to be in control over the one who is broken. They would want to step in and take charge, to help the other person overcome their problems and make them whole.

But here’s the thing – the need for control can often be rooted in deeper issues, like low self-esteem or a lack of trust in the world. 

And when someone is constantly trying to control and fix others, it can prevent them from addressing those underlying issues and growing as a person.

4. Lack of emotional intelligence 

Someone who lacks emotional intelligence tends to attract broken people like moths to a flame. You see, emotionally intelligent individuals can understand their own emotions and the emotions of others. 

They can communicate effectively, empathize with others, and form healthy relationships. But when someone lacks emotional intelligence, they struggle with these skills.

Now, imagine you’re a broken person, someone who’s been hurt in the past and is still healing. You might be drawn to someone who is emotionally unaware because they don’t pick up on the cues that you’re not ready for a deep, meaningful connection. 

They might not realize that you need space, or that you’re not ready to talk about certain things. And because they’re not emotionally intelligent, they might not realize that their behavior is causing you pain.

On the other hand, emotionally intelligent individuals will be able to recognize the signs that someone is struggling, and will be able to create a safe space for them to heal. They’ll be able to communicate effectively, empathize with the other person, and help them work through their issues.

[Read: 5 Signs Someone is Secretly Manipulative]

5. Fear of abandonment 

When we’re kids, we all have these innate needs for love and connection. We need to feel like we belong, and that we’re important to someone. But sometimes, for whatever reason, we don’t get that. 

Maybe our parents were too busy or too distant, or maybe we experienced some kind of trauma that left us feeling alone. Whatever the case may be, when we don’t get those needs met, it can create a fear of abandonment.

Now, as adults, that fear can manifest in a few different ways. One of them is by attracting people who are broken. Why? Well, it might be because we’re subconsciously looking for someone who needs us. 

Someone emotionally unavailable or struggling with addiction might be more likely to depend on us, and that can make us feel needed and important. It’s like a way of filling that void we have inside.

But here’s the thing, while it might feel good in the short term, it’s not a healthy way to deal with our fear of abandonment. These relationships are often unstable and can leave us feeling even more alone and unimportant in the long run.

If you’re afraid of being abandoned, it might be time to work on that fear and learn how to build healthy, fulfilling relationships with people who are whole and available. It might be scary, but it’s worth it in the end.

6. Empathy

Empathy is like a magnet for broken people. It’s like a beacon of hope shining brightly in the darkness, calling out to those who are lost and in need of understanding and support.

And when a person has this quality, they can truly understand and connect with the feelings and experiences of others. They can put themselves in someone else’s shoes and feel what they are feeling, and this ability to understand and connect is incredibly powerful.

For broken people, who may feel misunderstood or alone, the presence of empathy is like a lifeline. It’s a sign that someone cares, that someone is willing to listen and understand, and that can make all the difference in the world.

But it’s not just that empathy attracts broken people, it’s also that it has the power to heal. When someone feels understood and supported, they can start to process and work through their pain, and begin to mend the broken pieces of themselves. 

Being compassionate about someone can give them the strength and courage to keep going, even when things are tough. So, in a way, it’s like a beautiful cycle. The broken people are drawn to you, and then you help to heal them. 

[Also read:  10 Signs of Negative Energy In a Person]

7. Unconscious patterns

Have you ever noticed that no matter how hard you try, you always seem to attract broken people into your life? They come in all shapes and sizes – from emotionally unstable partners to friends who constantly drain your energy. 

And no matter how much you try to change things, it seems like the pattern keeps repeating itself. Well, my friend, this is a result of something called “unconscious patterns.”

You see, our brains are wired to seek out familiar experiences and patterns, even if they’re not healthy or beneficial for us. This is because our brains are wired to keep us safe and avoid potential threats. 

So, when we’ve had traumatic experiences or negative patterns in our past, our brains tend to seek out similar situations in the present. This is why we attract broken people – because we’re unconsciously seeking out familiar patterns that we’re used to dealing with.

For example, if you grew up in a household where your parents were constantly fighting, your brain may have formed the pattern that conflict and drama are normal in relationships. 

This may lead to you attracting partners who are emotionally unstable or have a tendency to pick fights. Similarly, if you grew up with a parent who was constantly draining your energy, you may attract friends who are energy vampires.

But it’s not all bad news, my friend. The good news is that we can change these patterns. By becoming aware of our unconscious patterns and working to break them, we can start to attract healthier and more positive people into our lives. 

This may involve seeking therapy or counseling to work through past traumas, setting boundaries with people who are draining your energy, or learning how to communicate more effectively in relationships.

8. Lack of boundaries

When a person has a hard time setting boundaries, it can send a message to others that they’re open to whatever comes their way. It can also make them appear weak or easily manipulated, which can attract people who are looking to take advantage of that.

Having boundaries doesn’t mean you’re closed off or unfeeling, it just means you’re able to recognize when something isn’t good for you and take steps to protect yourself. 

And when you’re able to do that, you’re less likely to attract people who are going to disrespect you or drain your energy and bring you down. 

Also, people who lack boundaries often struggle to say “no” to requests from others, which can lead to them being taken advantage of.  This can lead to them being surrounded by people who are not good for them, and who only want to use them for their benefit. 

[Related: 10 Possible Reasons Why Bad Things Keep Happening to You]

9. Codependency

When a person becomes emotionally and mentally invested in the problems and well-being of someone else to the point where it starts to negatively affect their own life, that’s called codependency. 

So, if you’re codependent, you might find yourself constantly trying to fix or help people in your life who feel hurt, even if it’s at the expense of your happiness and well-being.

Now here’s why a codependent person may attract broken people. 

Well, codependents often have a deep-seated need for validation and acceptance. They might feel like they’re not good enough on their own, so they seek out people who need help and fix them, in turn, they feel good about themselves. 

It’s important to recognize that codependency is a problem and that it’s not healthy for anyone involved. Remember to prioritize your own needs and take care of yourself instead of constantly trying to fix someone else.

10. Inability to recognize red flags 

On meeting someone new, we often get caught up in the excitement and the possibility of a new relationship. We’re so focused on the good things that we might miss the warning signs that something’s not quite right. And that’s when we end up attracting broken people into our lives.

For example, let’s say you meet someone who seems charming and exciting. They make you laugh, they make you feel special, and you can’t help but be drawn to them. 

But then, after a few weeks or months, you start to notice that they’re not quite as perfect as you thought they were. They might be moody, or they might be controlling, or they might be emotionally unavailable. 

These are all red flags that this person might not be good for you in the long run. But if you’re not good at recognizing red flags, you might miss these warning signs. 

You might brush them off as minor quirks, or you might excuse them as something that you can work on in the relationship. And before you know it, you’re in a relationship with someone who is not good for you.


Now that you know some possible reasons why you attract this type of people into your life, the next step to take is to look for a solution. First and foremost, evaluate your emotional state. It’s better to work on yourself first before trying to help others.

Another thing you can do is to set clear boundaries. Make it clear to people what you’re comfortable with or what you’re not. This is you being assertive about what you need. And don’t forget to deliberately surround yourself with positive and healthy people.

And if you think you need professional assistance, go get it.

[Interesting: How to See Through Fake People]

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Anita Oge

Meet Anita, a relationship writer with a passion for helping people navigate the complexities of love and dating. With a background in information science, she has a wealth of knowledge and insight to share. Her writing is sure to leave you feeling empowered and inspired.

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