Have you ever had someone say something really rude to you?
It can be tough to know what to say back without getting upset. That’s why it’s great to have some smart and funny comebacks ready to go.
In this article, we’ve collected 80 of the best comebacks for rude comments. These replies are clever, witty, and perfect for handling mean remarks.
They will help you stay cool and confident, no matter what someone says to you.
Whether you’re dealing with rude classmates, strangers, or even friends, these comebacks will give you the upper hand.
So, next time someone tries to bring you down with a rude comment, you’ll be ready with a smart response.
[Also Read: 75+ Funny And Savage Comebacks For Bullies]
Smart Comebacks To Rude Comments
- “Did your brain take a day off today?”
- “Your negativity is impressive; you should teach a class.”
- “Is being rude your special talent, or is it just a hobby?”
- “If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart.”
- “Thanks for your unsolicited opinion. It’s now filed under ‘irrelevant.'”
- “Were you born this rude, or did you take lessons?”
- “Your rudeness is a perfect reflection of your insecurities.”
- “I’d respond to you, but I don’t speak ‘rude.'”
- “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you were an expert in being unpleasant.”
- “Your comment would’ve been more effective if it wasn’t so unoriginal.”
- “Is that all you’ve got? Try harder next time.”
- Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you talk.”
- “I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.”
- “Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?”
- “I’m not insulting you; I’m describing you.”
- “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.”
- “Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you. You owe it an apology.”
- “I’d love to stay and chat, but I’m trying to avoid someone.”
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
- “You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.”
- “I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.”
- “I’m sorry, was I meant to be offended? The only thing that offends me is your lack of originality.”
- “You sound better with your mouth closed.”
- “Your entire life is an argument for birth control.”
- “You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.”
- “I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one.”
- “It’s not that I’m ignoring you; I’m just giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are.”
- “Do you hear that? It’s the sound of me not caring.”
- “Wow, you’re really committed to being rude, aren’t you?”
- “Your attempt at being mean just made me laugh. Thanks for the entertainment!”
- “Were you trying to be offensive? Because you just came off as desperate.”
- “Your rudeness says more about you than it does about me.”
- “I see you’ve mistaken my silence for weakness. That’s adorable.”
- “Does being rude make you feel better about yourself?”
- “I’m not sure if you’re trying to be funny or just showing off your poor manners.”
- “You must really hate yourself to project so much negativity.”
- “Thank you for your input. Now, let’s hear from someone who matters.”
- “Did you have to work hard to be this rude, or does it come naturally?”
- “Your rudeness is almost as impressive as your lack of intelligence.”
- “Did you mean to be this rude, or are you just naturally talented?”
- “Congratulations on being the reason we need a ‘mute’ button in real life.”
- “I would’ve responded sooner, but your rudeness left me speechless.”
- “You should consider getting a personality makeover.”
- “If rudeness were an Olympic sport, you’d win gold.”
- “Did you forget to take your kindness pills today?”
- “Your rudeness is like a boomerang; it’s going to come back to you.”
- “I see your manners are as low as your IQ.”
- “Your rudeness is noted and filed under ‘pathetic.'”
- “I hope your day is as pleasant as your personality.”
- “You’re proof that even the rudest people can still be boring.”
- “You must have mistaken me for someone who values your rude opinion.”
- “If I wanted to hear from an unkind person, I’d read your autobiography.”
- “Your attempt at being rude just makes you look sad.”
- “Does your rudeness come with a user manual? Because I don’t understand it.”
- “Your comment is like a cloud—blocking the sunshine and completely unnecessary.”
- “Were you born this rude, or did you practice?”
- “I’m surprised you can be so rude with such a small vocabulary.”
- “If I were as rude as you, I’d keep my opinions to myself.”
- “Your rudeness is a perfect example of how not to behave.”
- “You should really work on your people skills—if you have any.”
- “I didn’t realize they let clowns out of the circus.”
- “Your rudeness is a great reminder of why we can’t all be nice.”
- “Your nasty comment is as unwanted as a hangnail.”
- “I see you’ve mistaken being rude for being witty.”
- “You should put that rudeness to better use—like disappearing.”
- “Your rudeness is exceeded only by your bad taste.”
- “You must be a professional at being unpleasant.”
- “Your rude comment is like a bad hair day—annoying and unnecessary.”
- “I’d take you seriously, but your rudeness is just too distracting.”
- “Did you wake up this morning and decide to be a nuisance?”
- “Your rudeness is the social equivalent of a flat tire.”
- “It’s amazing how you manage to be rude and irrelevant at the same time.”
- “You’re like a walking advertisement for bad manners.”
- “Your rudeness is the reason we can’t have nice things.”
- “I’d ask you to stop being rude, but I doubt you know how.”
- “Your rude comment just made my day—by showing me what not to be.”
- “You must be exhausted from all that negativity.”
- “I see you’ve mastered the art of being unpleasant.”