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As humans, we are biologically regarded as higher animals. This is because we have been blessed with the ability to think, reason, and make complex choices. 

These choices include simple decisions on what to eat and wear to more complex decisions on who to speak to and form emotional relationships with. 

However, the most important choices we make concern relationships — who we let in and out of our lives. Somehow, these are the decisions we make the most mistakes in, letting our unbridled affections cloud our ability to better judge someone’s character before letting them mean so much to us. 

In most cases, this might lead to unrequited love or forced friendships, where the other party is uninterested in pursuing any relationship with you or staying in your life. 

You shouldn’t feel so bad; studies have shown that unrequited relationships are more prevalent than you think. Almost everyone, including myself, has found themselves in a one-sided toxic relationship at least once in their lives. 

As a response to such pain, our emotional side might coax us into begging and appealing to the other party to stay in our lives or talk to us. We might be forced to look down on ourselves and alter our self-worth to get the other person’s attention.

It is never a good idea, and doing this will only jumble up your emotions and cause heartbreak. 

Never Force Anyone to Talk To You (9 Reasons & 10 Quotes

In the following paragraphs, we will discuss some reasons not to force anyone to talk to you and thoroughly explain why you should choose the short-term pain of cutting the person off rather than suffer long-term unrequited affections. 

1. You lose your respect 

In any relationship, even romantic ones, respect often holds both parties together. When this feeling is mutual, both partners will be able to navigate issues in their relationship without bringing the other down. 

Unrequited friendships are toxic because the other person isn’t interested in forming a relationship with you. When you constantly beg and appease them, they lose respect for you.

You probably love this person and want them in your life; while this is not a crime, you should know when to stop pushing if they don’t want you in theirs. 

2. People will see through your neediness

For extroverts, this might be a difficult topic. You might be used to being the one to always bring life to social interactions. But you can also quickly become the bane if you don’t read the room. 

There are certain times when people are not interested in making a conversation, and if you don’t recognize their mood, things can go south really quickly. 

I’m sure you love meeting and talking to new people, but not everyone is extroverted or has the same inclinations as you. 

Whenever you find yourself in a public space, you should take your time to study and figure out if everyone else is open to having conversations. 

If you continually force other people to speak to you, it might lead to you being ghosted by friends and colleagues. 

Related: 5 Steps to Easily Connect With Anyone In Conversations

3. It affects mental health and self-esteem 

When you have to force someone to speak to you, not only are you telling the person that you have no self-worth, you slowly start to believe it too.

You’ll feel like you are not deserving of any love or attention, and this will affect every other relationship around you, causing you to lower your standards. 

Asides from the dangerous effect on self-esteem and worth, it also has fatal implications on your mental health. And this happens because you are putting emotional strain on yourself, increasing the likelihood of a breakdown.

4. You deserve commitment too 

I know you might be pining over your lost relationship; it is understandable. You used to be best friends/lovers who cared for each other so much and made so many memories, some of which you still have in your photo gallery. 

First of all, delete those pictures and videos; it will only slow down your healing process. 

The next thing you want to do is give yourself a PEP talk. It’s easier said than done, I know, but slow and steady wins the race. 

You deserve love and affection that comes freely and unbridled, not one you have to force out of your partner. 

You deserve someone who wants to talk to you every second of the day, not someone who leaves your messages unanswered and voicemails unresponded to. 

Once this sinks in, you will start to regain your confidence and know what you truly deserve. 

5. You’ll have forced social interactions

For people who are too polite to tell you they don’t appreciate being forced into a conversation, they resort to forcing a smile and nodding their heads when you talk. 

They are just bearing your company, silently waiting for the conversation to be over. 

It is counterproductive to the entire concept of conversation since the other person is only listening just because they feel forced, not because they want to get involved. 

You will form healthier relationships when you allow people to utilize their own choices on whether to be friends with you or not. 

Related: How To Make A Girl Chase You Without Talking (Psychology)

6. People will value you less 

In a romantic or platonic relationship, forcing someone to speak to you will only cause them to look down on you. 

You might be funny, sarcastic, witty, or charming, but the other party would not see all these excellent characteristics because they feel pressured into having a conversation with you. 

The next time you feel too eager to speak to someone who isn’t interested in you, remember that you are a human of value who deserves to be treated like a priority. 

When your messages are left unanswered, or you are snubbed in the office hallway by your friend, remember to let it go until the other person comes around to apologize. It might be a difficult pill to swallow; knock it down with enough water, and you’d be fine. 

7. Personal troubles 

Sometimes it’s not about you. We often go through many issues in our personal lives, and in times like this, we tend to withdraw from people —friends and loved ones— till we get back our balance. 

It will help if you put this into consideration the next time you feel like a friend is ignoring you. 

So many people around us are fighting seen and unseen battles in their lives. It might cause them to retreat into their personal space and block people out. With time, they start to loosen up and will need their friends around them once again. 

So when you notice a friend starts to ignore you, try not to force conversations. You can show them love from afar, but do not crowd their space or try to get a conversation out of them. 

Interesting: How To Keep A Conversation Going (5 Simple Strategies)

8. It is pointless 

One of the most painful things is watching your close-knit relationship with someone disintegrate to the point where messages are left unattended. 

Whether in romantic or best friend relationships, this separation hurts, leading to heartbreak of ranging severity. 

Due to the pain, you might find yourself continually reaching out to make plans or stalking them on social media. 

Before a relationship disintegrates, I am sure you must have tried to mend it or make things right. When it gets to the point where the other party has decided to no longer speak to you, you respect it. 

Risking your self-esteem to maintain a relationship is pointless, and both parties will end up unhappy at the end of the entire ordeal. 

9. Don’t be termed an abuser 

The most prevalent form of abuse is physical, but emotional abuse is just as powerful, even though the scars are not inherently obvious. 

Of all the reasons not to force anyone to talk to you, this should scare you the most.  When you frequently hound someone to speak, meet, or form a relationship with you, you put such a person under emotional pressure. 

If this continues, the emotional pressure could lead to stress. The other party may start to feel violated when their rights to choose you have been deliberately ignored on several occasions; they may also feel a breach of privacy when you enter their personal space. 

It might seem like a very heavy accusation simply because you want to get your friend/lover back, but it is the reality, no matter how hard it is to digest. 

When someone decides to go out of your life, let them go. 


Conversations are only healthy when it’s natural. A great relationship will not require any iota of force from either partner, and you should understand that. The moment you start to notice that you have to put in more than the required effort in a relationship, you should take a good step back and reevaluate your stand. 

There are so many reasons not to force anyone to talk to you, and the ones listed above are only a few. Learn how to let go of things, especially when it is way past the point of fixing.

Related: 4 Simple Habits to Give Up to Have Better Conversations 

10 Quotes About Never Forcing Anyone To Talk to You

“If you keep forcing the wrong people to stay in your life, you’ll never create space for the right people to come in.”

“Don’t let loneliness push you into the wrong hands. Remember, you don’t drink poison simply because you’re tasty.”

“If you want to live a happy and peaceful life, learn to enjoy your own company.” 

“Whoever you force to come into your life will also need to be forced to stay. It’s never worth it.”

“Sometimes we focus so much on those that are not available that we fail to see the wonderful people that have always been there for us.”

“Be good enough to forgive, but never be stupid enough to allow toxic people into your life again.”

“When you beg people to stay in your life, you’re indirectly telling them that their lives are worth more than yours.”

“Always remember, life goes on, with or without whoever.”

“When you realize you can do it alone, you become unstoppable. 

“If you have to beg someone to stay in your life, they never saw your worth in the first place.”

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Adetayo Toluwalope

Adetayo is an author and a prolific writer. Her writing experience broadly encompasses fiction and articles regarding dating and lifestyle. She's passionate about helping people become better versions of themselves through storytelling.

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