A serial cheater is someone who repeatedly has romantic or sexual encounters with people outside of their committed relationship.
Think of it like this: while some people might mess up once and stray from their partner, a serial cheater does this over and over again.
It’s a pattern or a cycle they keep repeating, even if they keep getting caught or causing pain to their partners.
Now, I’m not talking about someone who’s in an open relationship where both partners agree that seeing other people is okay.
A serial cheater is sneaking around. They’re making promises to one person but breaking those promises by going out with someone else.
It’s all done behind their partner’s back, and it’s not just about physical stuff – it can be emotional cheating too.
And the thing is, serial cheaters can be hard to spot. They might come across as super charming and loving to their partner. But behind that charm, they’re living this secret life.
Understanding How Serial Cheaters Are Created
How does someone become a serial cheater? It’s not like people are born with a cheating gene.
Often, it starts with issues from way back – like problems in their family or past relationships.
They might have seen cheating happen a lot growing up, or maybe they had a really rough breakup that left them scared to get too close to anyone again.
Some serial cheaters might start because they crave excitement or because they like feeling wanted by lots of people.
It’s like they’re chasing the buzz that comes from something new or forbidden. It can become an addiction, with the sneaking around giving them an adrenaline rush.
But like any addiction, after the rush comes the crash, and that’s when the guilt and problems pile up.
Another piece of the puzzle is fear of intimacy. Cheating might seem like it’s all about getting close to someone, but for serial cheaters, it’s actually a way to keep distance.
They choose not to be faithful to one person to avoid getting too attached. This way, they think they won’t get hurt like they might have been before.
[Read: 6 Surefire Signs Your Woman Is Cheating (Or Losing Interest)
Why It’s Very Difficult For A Serial Cheater to Change
Changing deep-seated behaviors is no walk in the park. For a serial cheater, their cheating is often tangled up with other issues, like a love for taking risks or problems with intimacy.
Cheating can sometimes give a thrill – the secrecy, the chase. So for someone who’s used to that adrenaline rush, going back to a stable, honest relationship can feel a bit, well, boring.
Some people really struggle with that shift and fall back into old patterns just for that ‘excitement’ factor.
There’s also the trust issue. Once you break it, it’s hard to get back. For someone who’s been cheating repeatedly, not only do they need to change themselves, but they also have to rebuild their partner’s trust.
But Is Change Possible? Yes
Despite the odds, change is within the realm of possibility. People are capable of incredible transformations, and that includes serial cheaters.
The first step is wanting to change for real reasons – not just because they got caught. It’s got to come from inside, like genuinely not wanting to be the person who hurts the ones they love.
Having strong support can make all the difference. This could be friends who encourage the right choices, or a counselor who helps the cheater get to the root of their issues.
And then there’s the power of a fresh start. For a serial cheater, changing might mean leaving the past behind and writing a new story for themselves, one where they’re honest and faithful.
It’s not about pretending the past didn’t happen but learning from it and using those lessons to create a better future.
With commitment to change and the right support, even someone who’s stumbled many times can find their way back to the straight and narrow.
[Also Read: Can A Man Love You And Still Cheat?]
How Can A Serial Cheater Change? 7 Practical Ways
1. Acknowledge the Problem
A serial cheater needs to own up to their actions. No more excuses, no more blaming others or the situation. It’s about saying, “Yeah, I did that, and it’s not okay.”
Recognizing the problem is step number one. Without this, trying to change is like trying to fix a car without acknowledging it’s broken.
Once they admit they’ve got a problem, they shouldn’t just stop there. It’s important to understand why they’re cheating.
Is it for attention, out of boredom, or because they’re afraid of commitment? Getting to the heart of the issue is crucial.
2. Seek Professional Help
Talking to a therapist or counselor can make a big difference. These pros are like personal trainers for your mental health.
They can help a serial cheater work through their issues and find better ways to deal with whatever is driving them to cheat.
Therapy isn’t a quick fix. It’s about putting in the time to understand oneself, and it can take a while. But that’s okay.
[Interesting: Why Does A Betrayed Spouse Often Want Details About The Affair?]
3. Cut Ties with Temptations
Changing your surroundings can help a ton. If you’re hanging out in places where it’s easy to cheat, or with people who encourage that behavior, it’s time to switch things up.
Maybe it’s certain bars, or maybe it’s that friend who’s always got a new dating story to share. Staying away from these temptations makes it easier to stay on the straight and narrow.
It’s like if you’re trying to eat healthy, you don’t go to a buffet every night.
You stock your fridge with good stuff and maybe find a new route to walk where you don’t pass by that bakery with the killer cupcakes.
4. Be Transparent with Your Partner
Honesty is the best policy, especially now. A serial cheater needs to be an open book with their partner.
This means sharing passwords, keeping in touch about where they are and who they’re with – all that good stuff.
This openness helps rebuild trust and shows they’re serious about changing.
And sure, it might feel like a lack of privacy, but that’s part of the deal when you’re working to fix things.
You know how parents check their kids’ Halloween candy? It’s not that they don’t trust the kids; they just have to make sure everything’s safe.
5. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
Setting clear boundaries is a big deal. This means deciding what behavior is okay and what’s a no-go zone.
For a recovering serial cheater, this might mean no flirting, no secret texting, and definitely no secret meet-ups.
Sticking to these boundaries is like sticking to a budget.
It might not be fun when you can’t buy those concert tickets you want, but at the end of the month, when you’re not broke, you’ll be glad you did it.
[Related: 15 Psychological Facts About Cheating]
6. Replace Bad Habits with Good Ones
Replacing bad habits with good ones is key. Instead of heading to the club when they’re feeling restless, maybe they start a workout routine, get into a hobby, or volunteer.
It’s about finding healthier ways to fill time and get that rush.
Think of it like this: if you’re used to grabbing a candy bar when you’re stressed, and you switch to hitting the gym instead, not only do you skip the sugar crash, but you also get fitter. Wins all around.
7. Keep Accountability Close
This could mean checking in with their partner regularly or having a trusted friend to call when things get tough. It’s about having someone to help keep you on track.
Just like a gym buddy who nudges you to do that last set of squats, an accountability partner can give you that extra push to stay faithful.
It’s about support, not judgment – a hand to hold on the path to being a better person.
Staying Committed After Decision to Change
Making the decision to change is huge, but that’s just the beginning. Staying on track is where the real work begins.
A serial cheater has to keep choosing, every day, to be faithful. It’s not always going to be easy, but it’s about making that commitment stick.
It’s about being mindful of their actions and the impact they have on their loved ones.
One strategy is to replace the cheating behavior with something positive. If the cheating was about seeking excitement, then it’s time to find a new, healthy adrenaline rush.
It could be anything from rock climbing to learning to play an instrument. The goal is to fill their life with activities that give them a sense of fulfillment and joy without hurting anyone.
Also important is talking to their partner honestly about feelings and struggles. This creates a safe space where they can be vulnerable and ask for help if they need it.
Cheating thrives in secrecy, so by keeping things out in the open, they’re less likely to fall back into old patterns.
Plus, this helps to rebuild trust with their partner, showing that they’re serious about making things right.
And just as important as the big plan is having someone to help you stick to it.
That’s where friends, family, or a therapist come in—they’re like the supporters cheering from the sidelines, offering water and encouragement.
They can remind the cheater of how far they’ve come when things get rough and celebrate the small victories along the way.