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Before we start flexing those masculinity muscles, we first need to understand what masculinity truly means.

Masculinity is more than just physical appearance or a particular gender role. It’s a broad mix of qualities and attributes traditionally associated with men. 

But remember, just like a delicious cookie recipe, these attributes can vary wildly from person to person. Boldness, courage, self-confidence, assertiveness, leadership are some traits often attributed to masculinity. 

But does it mean that if you’re soft-spoken, empathetic, or enjoy a good rom-com, you’re not masculine? Absolutely not! That’s where the first key concept comes in: diversity in masculinity.

Remember, a real man respects the spectrum of masculine traits and understands there’s no one-size-fits-all. 

You don’t have to be the action-hero from a blockbuster to be masculine. Instead, recognizing your unique blend of traits and attributes, and confidently showcasing them is what real masculinity is about.

How to be More Masculine in a Relationship

Now that we’ve established an understanding of what true masculinity can look like, let’s explore some ways to be more masculine in your relationship. 

1. Be a Leader

First, the basics, be a leader. Now, I’m not suggesting you become some sort of totalitarian dictator here. No, being a leader in a relationship is more about taking responsibility, making decisions, and standing by them. 

It’s about stepping up and steering the ship when the seas are rough. That’s what I call confidence.

You know what’s great about taking on a leadership role? It doesn’t mean doing everything by yourself. It’s about encouraging a sense of team spirit, a feeling of “we’re in this together.” 

That’s when you step up, share your thoughts, and listen to your partner’s views as well. It’s not about leading the charge blindly, but rather about thoughtfully considering the best course of action for both of you.

2. Communicate Clearly 

Masculine man
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This one is easier said than done. But believe me, open communication is like the secret sauce that keeps a relationship juicy and flavorsome.

Clear communication involves expressing your feelings and thoughts without fear of judgment. 

In a way, it’s like leaving your emotional doors wide open, inviting your partner to understand your world better. It’s not just about what’s said, but how it’s said – remember to keep your tone in check.

Here’s the kicker. Communication isn’t just about talking; it’s equally about listening. Active listening, to be precise. 

That means really tuning in to what your partner is saying, reading between the lines, and responding thoughtfully. It’s not a race to get your point across, but a shared journey towards understanding.

3. Show Your Strength

No, I’m not asking you to bench press your partner. The strength I’m talking about has little to do with muscles and everything to do with character. It’s about being resilient, stable, and reliable.

Strength, in this context, also means being emotionally stable. It’s being able to deal with your feelings, the good, the bad, and the ugly, without letting them control your actions. It’s about offering a stable and secure environment where your partner feels safe to express themselves.

Being strong also means being dependable. If you make a promise, keep it. If you set a date, show up on time. 

These might seem like small things, but they are profound reflections of your character. They show that you can be relied upon, that you’re not a leaf tossed about by the winds of whim.

4. Demonstrate Independence

In a relationship, it’s vital to maintain a degree of independence. Being overly reliant or clingy can quickly become a burden to your partner.

Independence here means being able to enjoy your own company and pursuing your interests. It means having your own life outside of the relationship. 

This doesn’t mean you don’t spend quality time with your partner. Rather, it’s about finding a healthy balance between “me time” and “we time.”

Moreover, being independent shows that you respect your partner’s independence too. It’s about giving each other the space to grow and evolve as individuals, while also growing and evolving as a couple. 

It’s about being two wholes coming together, not two halves trying to complete each other.

5. Be a Gentleman

Being More Masculine in a Relationship
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Yes, chivalry isn’t dead, and it never will be. It’s all about showing respect, being polite, and treating your partner with kindness and consideration.

Being a gentleman involves small acts of kindness and respect that have a big impact. It’s about opening doors, offering to carry heavy bags, and ensuring your partner gets home safely. It’s about saying please and thank you and respecting boundaries.

But here’s the crucial part: being a gentleman isn’t about looking down on your partner or seeing them as weak. It’s about treating them with the respect and kindness they deserve. It’s about showing that you value them and that their comfort and happiness matters to you.

6. Show Vulnerability

I can hear you say, “Wait, isn’t that the opposite of being masculine?” Not at all, my friend. 

Showing vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength. It shows that you’re confident enough in yourself to open up and share your feelings.

Being vulnerable means being honest about your fears, insecurities, and feelings. It’s about opening up your heart and letting your partner in. 

Sure, it can be incredibly scary, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. It deepens the emotional connection and builds trust.

Remember, it’s perfectly okay to not have all the answers and to not be okay sometimes. Being vulnerable is about letting go of the need to always appear strong and allowing yourself to be human, to be real. 

It’s about showing your partner that they’re not alone in their fears and insecurities, that you too are a human, complete with your own set of imperfections.

7. Be Respectful

Respectful masculine man
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Respect is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. It’s about treating your partner as an equal, valuing their opinions, and honoring their boundaries.

Being respectful means acknowledging your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t understand them or agree with them. It means respecting their space, their time, and their choices. It means not belittling or undermining them.

And let’s not forget about respect for oneself. You can’t truly respect others if you don’t respect yourself first. This includes respecting your own boundaries and feelings, and not allowing yourself to be treated with disrespect.

8. Show Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is about being aware of your own emotions and those of others, and managing them effectively.

It involves understanding why you feel a certain way and how your emotions can affect your actions. It’s about recognizing your partner’s emotions, empathizing with them, and responding appropriately.

Emotional intelligence also involves managing conflict in a healthy way. 

Instead of lashing out or shutting down, it’s about expressing your feelings and thoughts calmly and clearly. It’s about seeking a resolution that respects both parties’ feelings and needs.

9. Be Supportive

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A supportive man is always there for his woman through thick and thin. He stands by her, cheering them on, and lending a helping hand when she needs it.

Being supportive isn’t just about being there in times of crisis. It’s also about celebrating your partner’s achievements, no matter how small. It’s about being their biggest fan and their safe harbor.

Support also involves offering constructive feedback and advice when asked. It’s about helping your partner grow and become the best version of themselves, while also appreciating them as they are.

10. Take Care of Yourself 

You might wonder what self-care has to do with masculinity. Well, a lot, actually. 

Self-care is about taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It’s about being the best version of yourself.

Practicing self-care means eating healthily, getting regular exercise, and ensuring enough rest. It’s about managing stress, seeking help when needed, and doing things you enjoy. It’s about making yourself a priority.

When you take care of yourself, you’re in a better position to take care of others. You’re more likely to be patient, understanding, and compassionate. And these, my friend, are some of the most masculine traits you can possess.

Key Takeaway 

The key takeaway from this article is that masculinity in a relationship isn’t solely about traditional gender norms or stereotypes, like being physically strong or emotionally stoic. 

True masculinity encompasses a range of traits, including leadership, open communication, emotional strength, independence, respectfulness, vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and supportiveness. 

It’s also about self-care and well-being. All of these attributes contribute to a healthier, more balanced, and fulfilling relationship. Essentially, being masculine is about being the best version of you for both yourself and your partner.


1. How can I be more masculine in a relationship?

Being more masculine in a relationship doesn’t mean adhering strictly to traditional gender norms. It’s about embodying qualities like leadership, open communication, emotional strength, independence, being respectful, showing vulnerability, demonstrating emotional intelligence, providing support, and practicing self-care.

2. Does showing vulnerability make me less masculine?

No, showing vulnerability does not make you less masculine. In fact, it’s a sign of strength. It shows that you’re confident enough in yourself to open up and share your feelings. It can also help deepen the emotional connection in your relationship and build trust.

3. What does it mean to demonstrate independence in a relationship?

Demonstrating independence in a relationship means being able to enjoy your own company and pursue your interests. It means having your own life outside of the relationship. It’s about finding a balance between “me time” and “we time,” and also shows that you respect your partner’s independence.

4. Why is respect important for masculinity in a relationship?

Respect is vital for any healthy relationship, not just for displaying masculinity. It means treating your partner as an equal, valuing their opinions, and honoring their boundaries. It’s about acknowledging their feelings, even if you don’t understand them or agree with them.

5. How does being supportive contribute to being more masculine in a relationship?

Being supportive shows your partner that you’re there for them, both in times of trouble and in times of joy. It’s about standing by them, cheering them on, and lending a helping hand when they need it. This not only contributes to your partner feeling loved and valued, but also demonstrates your strength of character, a key aspect of masculinity.

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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