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There’s a psychology behind cutting someone off. And if you understand it, you’ll know why it works. 

When you cut someone off, you’re essentially creating a sense of scarcity in their mind. 

Meaning, they are no longer able to take your presence and your value for granted because they now realize that you’re no longer available to them. This can trigger a feeling of interest and desire to have you back in their life.


They start to see the value you bring to their life, and the impact of your absence. And this is precisely why cutting someone off can work. This is just the basics of the psychology behind cutting someone off. Here’s a more detailed look. 

1. Cutting someone off works on the scarcity principle 

Humans have a natural tendency to want what they can’t have, and this is especially true when it comes to relationships. 

When you’re no longer available to someone, you create a sense of scarcity, and that’s when the magic happens.

Imagine for a moment that you have a favorite restaurant, and every time you visit, the food is amazing, the service is impeccable, and you leave feeling happy and satisfied. 

But one day, you arrive to find that the restaurant has closed down permanently. All of a sudden, you start to realize how much you took that amazing food and service for granted, and you start to appreciate it even more. 

By cutting someone off, you become a scarce resource in their life, and they start to see your value in a new light. They may start to realize how much they took your love, support, and friendship for granted, and they may start to appreciate the value you bring to their life. 

Little things like your laughter, your conversations, the way you talk, your smell, and the special moments you shared will become so special in their minds that they’ll begin to long for it again. 

[Related: Cut Him Off He Will Miss You (9 Psychological Reasons Why It Works)]

2.  You show your independence and high value 

When you cut someone off, you are sending a strong message: you don’t need them. 

And by demonstrating that you can live your life without them, you increase your value in their eyes. Let me explain why.

When someone realizes that they are not the center of your world, they start to see you in a different light. Suddenly, you become more interesting, more mysterious, and more desirable. 

They start to see you as someone confident and independent, someone who can make their way in the world without relying on anyone else. And that, my friend, is an incredibly attractive quality.

It’s like when you’re shopping for a car, and you walk into the dealership to find that the most sought-after model is sold out. Suddenly, you start to appreciate the car’s value a lot more. 

It’s the same thing with people. When they see that you don’t need them, they start to see you as a valuable asset, someone who is in high demand. And, as we all know, what’s rare is often more valuable.

3. They imagine you might be with someone better 

This idea of you being with someone better can spark a bit of jealousy in them, and they may start to question why they let someone as amazing as you slip through their fingers. 

They may start to realize that the love and care that you showed them were unique and valuable, and that they may never find someone like you again.

In their mind, the fact that you are with someone better now only amplifies your value. 

They may start to imagine that the person you are with now treats you like the queen (or king) you are and they may start to regret not doing the same. And this can make them realize the true worth of what they had in you and the opportunity they lost.

[Also read: 5 Signs the No-Contact Rule is Working]

4. You give them space to reflect on their actions 

By removing yourself from their life, you force them to take a step back and really consider what has been happening in the relationship. It’s like hitting the reset button on their thought process.

Think about it this way, when we’re constantly surrounded by something or someone, it can be easy to overlook their value. But in giving someone space, you allow them to take a break from the relationship and gain a new perspective on it.

In this time of reflection, they’re more likely to see the impact their behavior had on the relationship and the role you played in their life. They’ll realize that they took you for granted, and they may start to miss the things you used to do for them. 

5. You make them realize they might have cheated themselves 

Cutting someone off can also make them see how they cheated themselves of a valuable relationship. Here’s why. 

As they reflect, they may start to realize they had a great person in their life who cared about them and brought value, but instead of embracing it, they took it for granted.

Now that you’re gone, they’ll see what a mistake that was. They’ll realize that they lost someone who was an asset to their life, someone who brought joy and positivity. And now that you’re not there, they’ll start to see just how much they relied on you.

It’s like they took a diamond and exchanged it for pebbles, not realizing the potential it held. But now that you’re gone, they’ll finally see the error of their ways and start to appreciate the value you bring to the table.

In the end, it’s their loss, not yours. You moved on to greener pastures, but they’ll be left behind, regretting the opportunity they missed. Or, at least that’s what they’ll think. 

[Interesting: How to Glow Up After a Breakup]

6. You take power from their hands 

When you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t appreciate you, they have power over you, especially if you really love them. 

They’ll have control over your feelings, your time, and your worth. And the more you try to convince them to love you back, the more exhausted they’ll make you feel. 

But, by cutting them off, you take that power back. You are no longer at their mercy and they are forced to recognize your worth on their own.

By taking power from their hands, you show them that you are strong, independent, and not afraid to stand up for yourself. This newfound confidence can make you more attractive and valuable in their eyes. 

They’ll start to see you as someone who doesn’t tolerate being mistreated and as someone who values themselves. This can make them realize the mistake they made in not valuing you before.

More importantly, taking power from their hands can also give you a sense of control in the relationship. You are no longer the one constantly seeking validation or trying to fix things. 

Instead, you are taking control of your own life and making your own decisions. This newfound control can increase your value in their eyes as they see that you are no longer willing to put up with their lack of appreciation.

7. They’ll give you more respect 

One powerful psychology behind cutting someone off is that it sends a clear message that you have self-respect and won’t tolerate being treated poorly. 

This can be a powerful tool in earning their respect and making them see your value. Here’s how:

Firstly, by taking a stand and walking away, you demonstrate that you won’t put up with unappreciative behavior. This shows that you have strong values and won’t compromise your worth for anyone. 

Secondly, cutting someone off can help break negative patterns in the relationship. When you’re no longer present, they may start to miss the positive aspects of the relationship and regret not treating you better. 

They may even start to see the value in treating others with respect while they’re still around.

Finally, you open the door to new opportunities and relationships that are more fulfilling and appreciative. In a sense, you’re demonstrating the value you bring by being selective about who you invest your time and energy into.

[Read: How to Make a Man Regret Losing You]

8. It gives them space to miss you

Giving someone space to miss you is a powerful tool in making them see your value. It works in a very simple, yet effective way. 

You see, when you’re constantly around, it becomes too easy for someone to take you for granted. They may not even realize the extent to which you add to their life, because you’re always there. But when you take a step back and give them space, it becomes crystal clear.

It’s like a lightbulb moment. When you’re no longer around, they may start to miss the laughter, the conversations, the comfort, the support, and all the other things you brought to their life. And when they see that, they start to understand what a valuable person you are. 

By giving them space to miss you, you show them that you’re not a pushover, and that you have self-worth and independence. You show them that you’re someone who is not afraid to stand up for yourself, and that you deserve to be treated with respect and appreciation.

9. You’ll feel more peaceful 

Cutting someone off can be difficult, especially if you’ve been in a relationship with them for a long time. But there are several reasons why it’s incredibly liberating.  

Firstly, you are taking back control of your life. You are saying, “I deserve better” and setting boundaries for how you want to be treated. 

By doing this, you regain a sense of power and autonomy that can be incredibly empowering and liberating.

Secondly, you are freeing yourself from the negative energy and stress that comes with an unfulfilling relationship. 

No longer do you have to deal with constant disappointment, frustration, or disrespect. You can finally focus on yourself and your well-being, which can bring a sense of peace and calm.

Thirdly, when you cut someone off, you are giving yourself the space to heal and grow. You can focus on your own needs, wants, and desires, and start working on yourself.

And by doing this, you can gain a better sense of who you are and what you want in life, which can be incredibly freeing and bring a sense of peace.

[Related: 20 Reasons Why He Ghosted You]

10. You’ll find it easier to move on 

When you cut the wrong person out of your life, you’re freeing yourself from a toxic relationship and opening the door to something better. Here’s why this can be a good thing:

Emotional liberation: When you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you, it can be emotionally draining. By cutting them off, you’re releasing yourself from that burden and freeing yourself to find someone who will appreciate you.

New beginnings: Cutting someone off can be a fresh start and a new beginning. You can start looking for someone who will value you and treat you with the respect you deserve.

Better alignment: When you find someone who appreciates you, you’ll find that your values, goals, and interests align better. This can lead to a more fulfilling and enjoyable relationship.

No more second guessing: When you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t appreciate you, you may start to second guess yourself. By cutting them off, you’ll no longer have to deal with that self-doubt and can instead focus on finding someone who will make you feel confident and valued.

Room for growth: When you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t appreciate you, it can hold you back from growing and evolving as a person. By cutting them off, you open up space for new experiences and opportunities for personal growth.

11. You create space for someone better 

You’re freeing up a spot in your heart and your life for someone who will truly cherish and value you. You’re essentially making room for a more fulfilling relationship with someone who will bring out the best in you and appreciate all that you have to offer. 

It’s like clearing out a cluttered closet to make room for new, better clothes. When you let go of what doesn’t fit or serve you, you open up the possibility for something even better to come along. 

12. You also get an opportunity to grow

Being in a relationship where you’re not valued can be draining. It can sap your energy, lower your self-esteem, and make you feel like you’re not good enough. 

But when you make the tough decision to let that person go, you free yourself from that negativity and start the journey toward growth.

For starters, you are taking control of your life. You are telling the world, and yourself, that you won’t accept being treated poorly. 

Also, letting go of toxic relationships is also opportunity to focus on self-care. 

When you’re not constantly worried about the opinions of others or trying to make someone else happy, you can start to focus on yourself. You can spend time doing things that make you happy, learning new skills, and finding joy in life’s simple pleasures.

[Also read: When Do Guys Start to Miss You After a Breakup?]

Final words 

Cutting someone off can work as a form of emotional self-defense and can be an effective way to stop toxic or unhealthy behavior. 

Additionally, cutting someone off can send a clear message to the other person about the consequences of their behavior, and can encourage them to reflect on and change it.

However, it is important to note that cutting someone off should not be used as a first resort, as it can be damaging to relationships and should only be done after considering all other alternatives.

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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