Sharing is caring!

You have his post notifications turned on, don’t you? As soon as he posts a picture, you’re one of the first to view it. 

He’s also why you posted that picture on Instagram the other day, the snap with you in a red dress eating at his favorite restaurant. You hoped he would see it, miss you, and then reach out. 

But he didn’t.

Breakups are very painful, especially when you are the one being dumped. You can feel your heart break as you navigate the reality of losing your loved one forever. 

You are hurt, probably crying your eyes out every day, while gradually falling into depression. But he seems to be doing fine. You wonder if he doesn’t even miss you at all. 

As a woman, studies have shown that we experience more emotional pain following a breakup than men. It is just how you are wired. 

The majority of men don’t feel the pain until many months later. 

However, there are certain things you can do to make this happen faster. And in this article, you will learn two major things: how to make your ex miss you and how you can tell when he starts to. Let’s get into it.  

1. When you make him realize your world doesn’t revolve around him

“The best revenge” the English-born actress Jennifer James said, “is, of course, a good life. Enjoy yourself, be happy, and be successful. It’ll drive them crazy–or you can imagine it does.”

I’m sure you discussed your goals and ambitions with your ex; everyone has done this before. 

Maybe you wanted to be a published author or an artist. 

Now that you both broke up, this is the best time to pursue those interests. 

Honestly, it’s a win-win situation for you. 

On one end, you are improving your value as a person, pursuing your goals, and learning new things that will boost your career. 

Furthermore, when you do all these, your ex will surely miss you. 

When he sees you’ve gone back to college to earn the Master’s degree you’ve always talked about or that you have finally finished that manuscript and are about to publish, he will realize that your world doesn’t revolve around him. 

Interesting: 16 Psychological Tricks That Will Make Him Miss You

2. When you stop all contact 

This is the golden rule. 

Men may get it wrong about a lot of things when it comes to female psychology, but you know one thing they are never wrong about? Your feelings for them. 

Even if your ex is on a different continent miles away from you, best believe he can still tell that you are crazy about him. They have that superpower; we’ve got to give it to them. 

If you want your guy to miss you after a breakup, here’s some advice: whatever you are doing, stop. 

You know what I’m talking about—creating fake pages to stalk him, leaving him tons of embarrassing messages, turning on his insta notifications; you need to stop. 

Here is what you should do instead: cut him off. Turn off that post notification, mute his posts, delete his contact number, and ignore him. While this might sound counterproductive, it’s not. It’s simple reverse psychology. 

When he thinks you’re fawning over him, he’ll feel like the boss and act however he pleases. But when he notices you have moved on, he’ll be knocked off his high horse. 

3. When you look good and get in shape 

While investing in your career and personal growth, don’t forget to work on your outward appearance. 

When do guys start to miss you after a breakup? If there’s one sure answer to this question, this is it. 

Everyone loves a physically attractive partner, but according to research, men tend to rate this factor more critically than women. It would help if you leveled up by using this to your advantage. 

Hit the gym and work on your abs and butt, invest in makeup and skincare, change your wardrobe, cut your hair, and get a piercing or tattoo. Make a drastic but positive change to your appearance. 

Not only will it make him miss you, but it will also boost your confidence and make you feel more feminine. 

Also read: 10 Sure Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore

4. When you make yourself unavailable 

“Can you meet me at Bistros in less than an hour? There’s something I have to tell you.” 

As soon as you get a text like this from your ex, you drop everything and make yourself available for him. If this is your case right now, you honestly need to change. 

Don’t be that cringy “yes” girl. 

The truth is, he knows. He knows you’ll always show up at his beck and call, which is why he put you on a mental leash. Anytime he notices you’re slightly moving on, he hits you with that text. 

Break out of that cycle. 

If you’ve been that “yes” girl, I hope you can draw strength from this and stand your ground. You want him to miss you? Do the opposite. 

A simple “Sorry, I’m unavailable to meet you at the moment” will be enough. Or even better, ignore the message. When you keep this up, he will start to miss you. 

5. When you start to look truly happy

When you obsess over your ex, he will remain elusive because he believes he can treat you anyhow and get away with it. To make him miss you, put up a happy and contented front. 

Social media is a tool; use it. Now I’m not saying you should go and steal a glance at his recent pictures or view his stories, no. 

Post pictures that capture you looking beautiful and doing exciting things. If you had planned to go skiing with your ex, this is the time to do it, and make sure you take pictures. 

When he sees you living life like you don’t care about anything else, he starts to miss you. 

The worst feeling after a breakup is seeing the other person happier than you are. 

6. When you start bumping into him

Trust me; when a guy wants to avoid you totally, he will make it look like he disappeared off the face of the earth. Not only will you never see him again, but you will also be unable to contact him. 

The moment you notice you’re beginning to bump into your ex more often than usual, it’s time you realize it is no longer a coincidence. 

When a man starts to miss you, he’ll be like your shadow, turning up in all your favorite places.

He knows what he’s doing. 

If you live several miles apart, it might be hard for him to take this route, but he will still find a way to maintain contact. 

It is up to you to decipher whether he is missing you because he finally realizes your worth or because you’re happier than he is. 

Read: 15 Texts That Will Get Him Chasing You

7. When he thinks you’re with someone new 

There is nothing like good ole jealousy to stir old feelings from an ex. I’ve realized that jealousy, in healthy mild doses, is good for a relationship. 

It shows that someone values you enough to be scared of losing you. 

Again, social media is a useful tool in making this work. Did you go to a nice restaurant with a male friend? Take pictures. Did someone get you flowers? Take pictures. 

Don’t forget the cheesy romantic captions too. 

To take it a step further, you can hit him up with a text that will make him go crazy. Something along the lines of “I’m so happy you suggested we date other people. I’m happier now. We can still be friends if you want.” 

A tidy message like this contains every detail you want to pass across. Not only have you stylishly told your ex that you have a new man, but you have also told him you are content with being just friends. It will make him very jealous.

8. When the realization dawns 

When do guys miss you after a breakup? For years, women have asked this question.  But you should understand that, until realization dawns on a man, he will not miss you just yet. 

It’s why it always seems like men are not affected by breakups. 

For women, the realization dawns pretty fast following a breakup. You are aware that your heart has been broken, and you start to think you won’t find someone like him. 

It causes emotional pain that might carry on for many months. 

For men, realization doesn’t dawn until much later. Immediately after a breakup, his next line of action is to enjoy his newfound freedom. “There are many fishes in the sea,” he’ll think. 

Months after the separation, he realizes freedom isn’t as enjoyable as he thought, then he starts to miss you. 

The attainment of this period differs from man to man, but it will surely come. When this happens, you see him start to reach out to you in various ways. 

9. When you have moved on 

Just as a man knows when you still love him, he can also tell when you have moved on. 

It doesn’t matter who dumped who in a relationship; seeing the other person moving on often causes some pangs of jealousy, especially when you haven’t. 

When a man sees for sure that you have started your journey to total healing, he begins to miss you badly. He is certain that you don’t need him anymore and you can handle life without him. Those reasons are enough for him to want you more than ever. 


Don’t be desperate to make your ex miss you after a breakup, no matter how much hurt you are going through. 

What is important at the moment is your healing, and you should take it seriously. Understand that your ex might miss you not because he truly loves you. Sometimes it’s just for selfish reasons. 

As much as you want the relationship to continue, you must think with your head and not your heart. Be honest with yourself, and before you know it, you will become truly happy again.

Related: How To Make A Guy Regret Ghosting You

Website Profile Pics 3
Adetayo Toluwalope

Adetayo is an author and a prolific writer. Her writing experience broadly encompasses fiction and articles regarding dating and lifestyle. She's passionate about helping people become better versions of themselves through storytelling.

Sharing is caring!