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Understanding someone else’s feelings can be pretty tricky. After all, we do not read minds.

And sometimes, we’re so caught up in our own emotions that we might overlook or misinterpret the signs that are right in front of us. 

It’s easy to let wishful thinking color our perceptions, right?

But knowing how the other person feels is crucial. It helps avoid misunderstandings, saves us from emotional turmoil, and most importantly, it can provide the clarity needed to make the right decisions in our love life.

That’s why we’re here to chat about some of the telltale signs that a guy might not be attracted to you. 

This isn’t about pointing fingers or assigning blame. It’s about providing a guide, a kind of roadmap, to help you navigate the often confusing world of dating and relationships.

1. Lack of Attention

The first clue that a guy may not be attracted to you, or at least as much as you’d hope, is his lack of attention towards you. 

Attention isn’t just about the physical, it’s about emotional availability too. 

Is he constantly distracted while you are together, focusing on his phone or other people around you? 

Do your conversations feel superficial, lacking depth and personal touch? Do you share an interesting story about your day and his eyes glaze over? 

Well, these might be signs of his disinterest. When a man is genuinely attracted, your words, your stories, and your experiences become his focus.

It’s also good to consider other factors that may cause this behavior. It might just be a bad day or he’s genuinely busy. People have off days or times when they’re preoccupied. 

Yet, if this lack of attention is more of a rule than an exception, then there’s a possibility he’s not that into you.

2. Absence of Effort

Signs a guy is not attracted to you

Attraction usually comes with a natural desire to make an effort. To impress, to connect, to make the other person feel special. But when the attraction isn’t there, the effort often isn’t either.

Think about your past interactions. Did he show any interest in planning dates, or do you always have to take the initiative? 

When you meet up, does he put thought into the time spent together, or does it feel more like an afterthought? 

Sure, modern dating is all about sharing responsibilities and initiative, but if you’re the only one putting in the work, then it might be a sign that he doesn’t feel the same way about you. 

3. Frequent Cancellation of Plans

Emergencies, unexpected work, sudden flu – these things can come up and might lead to canceling plans. But, it might be a red flag when it becomes a pattern.

Repeated cancellations can be a way of creating distance. 

When attraction is present, time spent together is seen as an opportunity, not a chore. But when there is no attraction, he’ll find excuses to reschedule or cancel dates without an alternate plan.

4. Limited Physical Contact

It’s natural to want to be close to the person you are attracted to, and it shows in subtle touches, in the way he looks at you, or even in his body language.

Imagine you are at a social gathering with him. Is he maintaining a certain distance from you? Is there a noticeable absence of subtle touches like a touch on the arm or the small of your back? 

Do his eyes wander off to other people and things, rather than looking at you? These could be signs that his attraction towards you isn’t quite there.

But again, this could be due to various reasons. Some people are just not comfortable with physical contact, especially early on in a relationship. So don’t rush to conclusions, but observe his behavior towards others as well for comparison.

[Related: 6 Tiny Habits That Make You Unattractive]

5. You Mostly Meet in Groups

When a guy doesn't find you attractive

Another sign that a guy may not be attracted to you is if he prefers to meet you in group settings. 

Hanging out with a group of friends is fantastic, but alone time is essential to build an intimate connection.

If he’s consistently suggesting group activities rather than one-on-one dates, it might be because he doesn’t feel a romantic connection. 

In group settings, he has the chance to keep things casual and avoid any serious or intimate conversations.

Some people may be more comfortable in groups, especially in the beginning. So, don’t worry too much if group hangouts are the norm initially. 

6. Conversations Don’t Go Beyond the Surface

A man who is attracted to you will likely be interested in getting to know you on a deeper level. He’ll want to understand your dreams, your fears, your past, and your future.

But if your conversations with him always seem to stay surface-level – like discussing the weather, or the latest movie, without venturing into more personal territory – it could be a sign that he’s not very attracted to you.

 If he isn’t showing interest in your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, then the connection might be lacking the depth you desire.

However, not everyone opens up quickly. Some people take time to trust and share personal information. So, if your conversations haven’t gone deep yet, don’t worry immediately. It becomes a concern only if this pattern extends over a considerable period.

7. He Doesn’t Include You in His Future

When a man isn't attracted to a woman signs

A pretty solid indicator that a guy isn’t as smitten as you’d like is the lack of future plans that involve you. 

When a guy is genuinely attracted to a woman, he’ll naturally start to think about the future, not necessarily five years down the line, but more immediate plans like weekend outings or a concert next month.

On the contrary, a man lacking this attraction might talk about his upcoming plans without any hint of your inclusion. 

He chats about the great summer vacation he’s planning or the concert he’s looking forward to, yet there’s no invite or mention of you being a part of these plans. That could certainly be a red flag.

8. He Rarely Initiates Contact

Today, communication is easier than ever. A guy who’s attracted to you will often reach out, not incessantly, but enough to show interest. He’ll be eager to share things with you, ask about your day, or just chat about trivial stuff.

But what happens when you’re always the one to initiate? You’re the first to text, to call, to plan the dates. Does he only communicate when you start the conversation? That could suggest a lack of deep interest. 

When he’s attracted, he’ll be excited to connect, to learn more about her, to be a part of her world.

Again, some guys are naturally less communicative. Also, societal stereotypes sometimes discourage guys from showing too much eagerness. But if this is consistently the case, it could be an indication of his lack of attraction.

9. He Doesn’t Make You Feel Special

Why he isn't attracted to youj

Does it seem like he treats you just like everyone else? You don’t feel prioritized or valued in a way that stands out from his other relationships. His words and actions toward you mirror how he interacts with his friends or colleagues. 

Feeling special doesn’t require grand gestures or over-the-top declarations of love. It can be as simple as remembering your favorite ice cream flavor or supporting you when you’re stressed about work. It’s about demonstrating thoughtfulness and care.

But let’s not forget, everyone has a unique way of expressing affection. Maybe he’s not the type to make grand gestures or say sweet nothings. 

Yet, if you consistently don’t feel special around him, it might mean his feelings towards you are not as deep as you’d like.

10. He Keeps the Relationship Status Vague

When a guy is attracted to you, he’ll want to make it clear. He’ll want to establish the relationship, to give it a name. 

Is he avoiding the conversation about your relationship status, keeping things vague? Does he hesitate to introduce you as his girlfriend or partner, opting for ‘friend’ instead? That could be a sign he isn’t attracted to you.

11. He’s Not Curious About You

Curiosity is a hallmark of attraction. When a man is drawn to a woman, he’ll want to unravel the mystery that she is. He’ll want to know her likes, dislikes, passions, dreams, and even the mundane details of her daily life.

But what about the guy who doesn’t ask about your day, your past, your plans, or your aspirations? His questions about your life are sparse, and when you volunteer information, he shows little interest. 

His lack of curiosity can speak volumes about his lack of attraction.

12. He Doesn’t Open Up to You

Just as important as his curiosity about you is his willingness to open up to you. When a guy is attracted to a woman, he’ll want to share himself with her. 

He’ll want to let her into his world, sharing his thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Yet, perhaps you’ve noticed that he doesn’t share much about himself. His conversations are full of generalities and lack personal details. 

You know little about his past, his dreams, or his fears. That kind of emotional distance might suggest he isn’t attracted to you.

But remember, some people take longer to open up. They need to feel secure before they can share their innermost thoughts. 

So, don’t immediately assume a lack of attraction. But take it as a lack of attraction on his part if this continues.

13. He Doesn’t Try to Impress You

Signs a guy isn't attracted to you

A guy who’s attracted to you will naturally want to impress you. Not necessarily in a boastful or ostentatious way, but he’ll want to show you his best side. 

He’ll share his achievements, his talents, and his interests. He’ll want you to see him as an interesting, accomplished person.

On the other hand, a guy who doesn’t make any effort to impress you might not be that attracted. 

Of course, a truly confident man doesn’t feel the need to impress anyone. But a total lack of effort in showing you his best side could suggest that he doesn’t see you in a romantic light.

14. He Doesn’t Show Jealousy

Maybe he doesn’t seem to mind when other guys flirt with you. He might even encourage you to date other people. 

A total lack of jealousy could indicate that he doesn’t feel threatened because he’s not that attracted to you.

But understand that jealousy is not necessarily a sign of a healthy relationship. In fact, it can sometimes signal insecurity and possessiveness. 

So, a lack of jealousy isn’t necessarily bad. But, in context with other signs, it could indicate a lack of deep romantic feelings.

15. He Talks About Other Women

When a guy is attracted to you, he won’t often talk about other women. He’ll focus his attention on you. 

But when he constantly mentions other women, his female friends, or his exes, it might mean he isn’t into you.

You might notice he spends a lot of time talking about his female coworker’s achievements or his ex’s talents. 

Sure, it’s normal to mention people we know, but when it becomes too frequent, it’s a signal. He might not see you in a romantic way.

16. His Body Language Is Closed Off

When a man is attracted to a woman, his body language usually gives him away: he leans in when talking to her, maintains eye contact, and faces her with his body.

Conversely, a guy who is not attracted might display closed body language. His arms are often crossed, and he avoids eye contact or positions his body away from you. 

Body language can be influenced by a variety of factors, including personality, comfort level, or even cultural background. 

Some people are naturally more expressive with their body language, while others are more restrained. 

But if his body language seems consistently closed off towards you, it might suggest a lack of attraction.

Remember, these signs aren’t carved in stone, and every individual is different. Just because a guy shows one or even a few of these signs doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not into you. 

People express themselves in a variety of ways, influenced by their personality, upbringing, and past experiences. 


Why is it important to know if a guy is attracted to you or not?

Understanding if a guy is attracted to you or not can save a lot of time, energy, and potential heartache. It can help you decide whether to invest more emotionally or steer clear and avoid future disappointment. 

These signs can serve as an early warning system, helping you navigate the tricky landscape of dating and relationships.

Moreover, knowing these signs can boost your confidence. Instead of second-guessing yourself or questioning his intentions, you can have a better understanding of where you stand. 

It’s about having clarity and making informed decisions about your romantic life.

Can a guy’s lack of attraction change over time?

A man’s feelings of attraction can change over time. Sometimes, a spark might not be evident at the start but can develop as he gets to know you better. 

Attraction isn’t always instantaneous; it can grow as the relationship deepens and the emotional connection strengthens.

It’s important not to hinge your hopes on this possibility. If a man consistently shows signs of a lack of attraction, it may not be wise to wait for his feelings to change. 

What should I do if the guy I’m interested in shows signs of a lack of attraction?

If you find that the guy you’re interested in is showing signs of lack of attraction, the first step is to talk about it. Express your feelings and concerns to him. 

It’s possible he’s not aware of how his actions are being perceived, or he may have other reasons for behaving the way he does.

If the signs persist even after the conversation, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. It might hurt initially, but it’s important to remember that everyone deserves a partner who is attracted to them and values their relationship. 

It’s better to face the truth head-on rather than invest time and energy into a relationship that may not have a future.

[Read: The 6 Easiest Ways to Instantly Improve Your Appearance]

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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