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Imagine this: You and your boyfriend are sitting on the couch. He brings you another plate of food, even though you’re not hungry. 

He insists, saying he just loves the way you look when you’re eating. Over time, you notice he’s doing this a lot. 

You also see that he seems really happy when you gain a little weight. This could be a sign he’s a feeder. 

Understanding Feederism

Feederism is an interesting concept. Basically, it means some people get a kick out of watching their partners gain weight, and they often play an active role in that process. 

These individuals are called “feeders.” On the flip side, there are “feedees” who enjoy the process of gaining. 

It’s a unique dynamic, right? But it’s crucial to recognize that not all such dynamics are healthy, especially if one party feels pressured.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Every relationship has its quirks, and what works for one couple might not work for another. 

But you should be wary if there’s any sign of manipulation or if the feeding becomes non-consensual. 

That said, let’s discuss the signs that your boyfriend might be a feeder. 

Signs Your Boyfriend Is A Feeder

how to know your boyfriend is a feeder

1. He’s Always Buying You Food

So, imagine this: Every time you’re with him, he surprises you with your favorite snack or a rich dessert. I mean, treats are great, right? 

But there’s a difference between occasionally indulging and him constantly drowning you in sugary or fatty foods. 

When it feels like every date revolves around eating something indulgent, you might want to ask yourself why.

Of course, there’s no harm in enjoying good food. We all do. But when it feels like he’s more excited about you eating than the actual meal or outing, that’s when things get a bit tricky. 

You want someone who shares experiences with you, not just the experience of eating.

2. You’re Never Full Around Him

Does it ever feel like no matter how much you eat, he’s always encouraging one more bite? 

Maybe you’ve just had a big meal, and he’s pushing you to get dessert. 

It’s one thing for someone to want you to savor and enjoy food, but when every meal feels like a challenge to see how much you can eat, that’s a bit off, isn’t it?

Being in a relationship means supporting each other’s choices. If you decide you’re full or want to skip dessert, that choice should be respected. Not constantly challenged or questioned.

3. He’s Overly Invested in Your Weight

Okay, let’s get real. Your body? It’s yours. No one else’s. So if you notice that he’s constantly checking if you’ve gained a pound or two, that’s concerning. 

It’s nice to have someone care about you, but when that care is too fixated on your weight, it can feel uncomfortable.

Everyone deserves to feel loved and appreciated for who they are, not just how they look. If his mood swings with the number on your scale, it’s essential to address that. Love isn’t measured in pounds.

4. His Excitement Peaks When You Eat

a feeder boyfriend

Have you ever noticed how he’s weirdly enthusiastic when you’re eating? Maybe a bit too thrilled? 

It’s one thing to enjoy a meal together. But when he seems more engrossed in your eating than in any other activity, it’s…odd.

Don’t get me wrong. We all love to see our loved ones relish a good dish. But when his day seems to light up mainly when you’re devouring that cheesecake, you’ve got to wonder why. 

The beauty of sharing a meal is in the shared experience, the conversation, and the memories, not just the act of eating.

And hey, it’s not just about what’s on the plate. A relationship has so many flavors beyond that. If the primary highlight of your dates is the food you consume, you might want to ponder on that.

5. He Gets Moody If You Miss a Meal

Now, this is a quirky one. Imagine skipping breakfast because you overslept or weren’t hungry, and then you find him surprisingly upset about it. 

Everyone misses a meal once in a while. It’s no big deal. But to him? It seems like a massive issue.

Sure, caring for someone includes ensuring they’re fed and healthy. But there’s a vast difference between genuine concern and an almost obsessive need to see you eat. 

Love isn’t about keeping tabs on every morsel you consume.

And honestly? Being human means sometimes we’re just not in the mood for food. And that should be perfectly okay. 

You don’t need the added stress of managing someone else’s mood swings tied to your eating habits.

6. Your Health Concerns Seem to Bypass Him

Let’s talk about health. Say you’ve been feeling a bit off lately, maybe because of too much junk food. 

You express this concern to him, expecting understanding and support. But instead, it’s brushed off or downplayed. Not cool, right?

Everyone has the right to voice out their feelings, especially about their well-being. When those genuine concerns are ignored or belittled, it’s not just about the food anymore. It’s about respect, understanding, and genuine care.

Your well-being is paramount. And in any relationship, it should be a shared concern. If you don’t feel heard or supported when talking about health, it’s a sign that something might be amiss.

7. He’s Always Comparing You to Your Past (Most Likely Fatter) Self

what does it mean to be a feeder

Picture this: You’re scrolling through old photos, reminiscing about memories. Suddenly, he points out how you looked back then, emphasizing any weight differences.

A passing comment is one thing, but when it becomes a recurrent theme, it can feel like you’re being compared to a version of yourself.

Relationships are about growing together, cherishing the present, and building the future. When someone’s stuck in the past, especially over something as trivial as weight, it can feel restrictive.

Remember, you’re not a static being. You evolve, change, and grow. And that growth should be celebrated, not held against a past benchmark. Your journey is unique, and it deserves respect.

8. Exercise? He’s Not a Fan

Remember that time you wanted to go for a jog or hit the gym, and he seemed a bit… discouraging? 

Sure, not everyone’s into fitness, and that’s okay. But if he actively tries to keep you away from any form of exercise, it’s worth noting.

Your well-being should be a shared priority. If he’s more concerned about you missing a meal than skipping a workout, there might be more to it.

Related Questions 

signs you have a feeder boyfriend

What are feeders in relationships?

Feeders, in the context of relationships, refer to individuals who derive pleasure or satisfaction from feeding their partners and seeing them gain weight. 

This dynamic often involves the feeder encouraging or even pressuring the other person, referred to as the “feedee,” to consume more food. 

While some might view this as a unique kink or fetish, it’s crucial to note that relationships should always be based on mutual respect and consent. 

When the dynamic becomes manipulative or one-sided, it can lead to health concerns and emotional strain.

However, it’s essential to differentiate between a feeder relationship and someone merely appreciating or pampering their partner with food. 

Feederism is more about the act of feeding and the subsequent weight gain than the simple act of sharing a meal.

What does it mean when a guy says he’s a feeder?

If a guy mentions he’s a feeder, he’s likely expressing an attraction or preference towards the act of providing food to someone and watching them eat or gain weight. 

For some feeders, it can be a deep-seated desire, while for others, it might be a more casual interest. It could be a form of intimacy, control, or even a specific fetish. 

It’s always a good idea to have an open conversation with him to understand his perspective and feelings better. This ensures that both parties are on the same page, promoting a healthy and understanding relationship.

What causes people to become feeders?

The reasons behind someone identifying as a feeder can vary. For some, it may stem from a genuine attraction to fuller-bodied individuals. 

Others might be drawn to the act of feeding due to a desire for control, dominance, or caretaking within the relationship. For another group, it might be tied to specific experiences or memories from their past that left a lasting impression.

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Anita Oge

Meet Anita, a relationship writer with a passion for helping people navigate the complexities of love and dating. With a background in information science, she has a wealth of knowledge and insight to share. Her writing is sure to leave you feeling empowered and inspired.

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