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When we talk about relationships, there’s a lot of focus on the dos – like communicating, being honest, and showing affection. 

These are important, of course, because they help a relationship grow and become stronger. But what about the don’ts? 

It’s just as crucial to know what actions to avoid if you want to keep your relationship healthy and happy. Just like in any aspect of life, avoiding certain pitfalls can be the key to success.

In this article, we’re shifting the spotlight to highlight some things you should steer clear of doing with your boyfriend. 

While it’s great to work on being the best partner you can be, it’s also vital to recognize the behaviors that could be harming your relationship. 

Avoiding these can help prevent unnecessary stress and conflict, keeping the bond between you and your boyfriend strong and positive. 

1. Don’t Lose Yourself to Keep Him

Falling for someone can feel like you’re floating on cloud nine, but it’s crucial not to let that sweep you away from who you truly are. 

Often, there’s a temptation to mold yourself into the person you think your boyfriend wants you to be. 

Maybe you start liking the music he likes, or you pretend to enjoy hobbies that never actually interested you. 

This might seem harmless at first, a way to have more in common, but it slowly chips away at your individuality.

Holding onto your uniqueness is what makes you, well, you. Remember, he was drawn to you for who you were when you met. 

Compromising on small things is part of any relationship, but losing your essence along the way can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself. 

Over time, this not only hurts you but can also put a strain on the relationship as the authenticity fades. 

Keeping true to your values, beliefs, and interests is key to maintaining a healthy balance between being a couple and being your own person.

2. Don’t Forget About Your Friends Because of Him

girl with her friends

At the start of a new relationship, it’s natural to want to spend every waking moment with your significant other. 

Suddenly, your weekends, evenings, and even lunch breaks revolve around being together. 

However, it’s important not to let your world narrow down to just one person, no matter how much you adore them. 

Friendships outside your romantic relationship bring different perspectives, support, and joy into your life, elements that are vital for your personal growth and happiness.

Neglecting friends can lead to a sense of isolation when you realize your social circle has shrunk significantly. 

Your friends were your cheerleaders before he came into the picture, and they’ll be there for you regardless of your relationship status. 

Balancing time between your partner and your friends ensures you have a support system and a life outside of your relationship. 

This balance is crucial for your well-being and keeps your relationship healthy by allowing you both to maintain your independence.

[Read: 20 Intimate Things To Do With Your Boyfriend]

3. Don’t Overlook Your Own Dreams and Ambitions

Having dreams and goals is what keeps life exciting and fulfilling

Sometimes, in the whirlwind of a relationship, your aspirations might take a backseat to your partner’s needs or to the relationship’s overall direction. 

Maybe you’re considering a job that’s closer to him but far from the career you’ve always dreamed of, or perhaps you’re skipping the gym to spend more time together

While compromise is essential, constantly sacrificing your ambitions can lead to resentment and a feeling of lost personal identity.

Staying true to your dreams and pursuing your goals is vital for your personal satisfaction and growth. 

Achieving your aspirations adds to your sense of identity and self-worth, which in turn enriches your relationship. You bring more to the table when you’re pursuing what you love and are passionate about. 

Remember, a supportive partner will cheer you on, excited to see you flourish and succeed in your endeavors.

4. Don’t Ignore Red Flags

woman ignoring red flag

Love can sometimes feel like wearing rose-colored glasses. 

Everything about your partner seems perfect, and you might find yourself dismissing behaviors that raise eyebrows. 

Maybe there’s a little voice in your head questioning his actions or words, but you silence it, thinking you’re just overreacting. 

Ignoring these gut feelings or red flags can lead to bigger issues down the road. These warning signs could be anything from disrespecting your boundaries to how he treats others when he thinks you’re not watching.

Acknowledging these red flags early on can save you from potential heartache and disappointment. 

It’s essential to trust your intuition and observe how your partner acts in different situations. 

A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, understanding, and trust, not on the hope that concerning behaviors will magically disappear over time. 

Paying attention to these warning signs helps ensure you’re in a relationship that truly respects and values you.

[Also read: 13 Reasons Why You’re So Desperate For Your Boyfriend To Propose]

5. Never Keep Secrets From Each Other

Honesty lays the foundation for a strong and healthy relationship. 

Keeping secrets from your boyfriend can create a rift between you two, breeding mistrust and doubt. 

Imagine a scenario where he finds out something significant from someone else or worse, stumbles upon it. 

That moment of realization, that there were things kept hidden, can shatter the trust that took so long to build.

Transparency is key in any partnership. Without open communication, small misunderstandings can spiral into insurmountable issues. 

Secrets have a way of coming out, and when they do, the sense of betrayal can be harder to overcome than the original issue itself. 

So, fostering an environment where both of you feel safe to share anything is crucial. 

This doesn’t mean you can’t have personal privacy, but rather that deliberate concealment of important matters can erode the very fabric of your relationship.

6. Never Compare Your Relationship to Others

Every relationship is as unique as the individuals in it. 

Falling into the trap of comparing your dynamic with your boyfriend to those of others can lead to dissatisfaction and unnecessary conflicts. 

Social media often portrays relationships as perfect, filled with grand gestures and constant happiness. 

But remember, what’s shared online is just the highlight reel, not the everyday challenges and mundane moments that are also part of being in a relationship.

Comparison can also chip away at your self-esteem and the value you place on your unique connection. 

It’s easy to see another couple’s public displays of affection and wonder why your relationship doesn’t look the same. 

However, it’s important to remember that each relationship has its own strengths and areas for growth. 

What works for one couple might not be the right fit for you and your boyfriend. Cherish the moments that make your relationship special, instead of longing for a fantasy that doesn’t exist.

[Interesting: Don’t Let Your Boyfriend Keep You From Your Husband (Meaning)

7. Never Let Conflicts Go Unresolved

Ignoring conflicts, hoping they’ll just disappear, is like leaving a wound untreated. 

Over time, it can become infected, causing more pain than addressing it in the first place would have. 

When disagreements arise, it might seem easier to brush them under the rug, especially if they seem minor. 

However, these unresolved issues can accumulate, leading to resentment and a feeling of disconnection.

Effective communication is crucial when it comes to resolving conflicts. This means listening to understand, not just to respond. 

Often, the heart of the matter lies beneath the surface, and taking the time to really listen can reveal underlying issues that need addressing. 

By tackling disagreements head-on and with empathy, you can prevent them from turning into larger barriers to your happiness together.

8. Don’t Stop Learning and Growing

couple reading together

Everyone has something they’re curious about or something new they want to try. 

Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn how to paint or speak another language. 

Keeping that spark of curiosity alive is super important, even when you’re in a relationship. 

Sometimes, couples get so comfortable with each other that they stop exploring new interests or growing their skills. 

But remember, learning new things not only makes life more exciting but also helps you grow as a person.

Staying curious and embracing new experiences adds a rich layer to who you are. Plus, it gives you and your boyfriend more to talk about and share. 

Encourage each other to chase after new skills or hobbies. 

You might even find a mutual interest that becomes your “thing.” Growing together in this way can make your relationship stronger and more interesting.

9. Don’t Make Him Your Only Source of Happiness

Relying solely on your boyfriend to make you happy is a lot of pressure on him and can be pretty risky for you. 

Everyone likes feeling loved and appreciated, but it’s important to find joy in various aspects of life. 

Happiness can come from many places, like doing things you love, spending time with friends, or even achieving personal goals. 

When you put all your happiness eggs in one basket, you might end up feeling let down if things don’t go as expected.

Creating your own happiness means you’re never at a loss, even when things get tough in your relationship. 

Plus, it makes you more independent and attractive as a partner. Being happy with yourself first makes the happiness you share with your boyfriend even more special and genuine.

10. Don’t Overlook the Importance of Alone Time

woman reading alone

Spending time apart doesn’t mean there’s trouble in paradise. In fact, having some alone time is super healthy for both of you. 

It gives you space to relax, think, and indulge in hobbies or interests that you might not share. 

Sometimes, being by yourself helps you appreciate the time you spend together even more. Remember, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be glued at the hip 24/7.

Valuing your alone time allows you to recharge and reflect on your personal needs and desires. 

This personal space is crucial for maintaining your sense of self within the relationship. 

Encouraging each other to enjoy this time apart shows a deep level of trust and respect for one another.

11. Don’t Compromise Your Values

Everyone has their own set of values and principles that guide their decisions and behavior. 

These values are like your inner compass, helping you navigate right from wrong. 

Sometimes, you might feel tempted to bend your values to avoid conflict or to make your boyfriend happy. 

However, compromising on your core values can lead to feelings of regret and resentment.

Standing firm on your values shows strength and integrity. A healthy relationship allows both partners to live according to their beliefs while respecting each other’s. 

Remember, a partner who truly loves and respects you will not ask you to compromise your values. 

Maintaining your principles is not only good for you but also sets a solid foundation for your relationship.

12. Don’t Disrespect Him

Respect is a two-way street in any relationship. Just as you deserve respect, so does your boyfriend. 

Disrespect can sneak into conversations, especially during disagreements. 

Calling names, mocking, or not taking his thoughts seriously hurts him and damages the trust between you. 

Remember, respect in a relationship means valuing each other’s feelings, opinions, and boundaries.

Showing respect doesn’t mean you agree on everything. It means you value what makes each of you unique and you’re committed to treating each other with kindness, even when you disagree. 

Make a habit of showing appreciation for the things he does and acknowledging his efforts. A relationship built on mutual respect and understanding can weather any storm.

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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