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Have you ever been hanging out with friends or family, and out of nowhere, someone asks, “When are you going to settle down?” 

It can make you feel a little awkward, especially if you’re not even thinking about that right now. 

People ask this question a lot, especially as you get older, and it can be kind of annoying. 

But don’t worry, there’s a fun way to answer without getting upset or feeling pressured.

Instead of getting frustrated, you can use a funny comeback. Comebacks are clever answers that can make the situation lighter and show that you’re comfortable with where you are in life. 

This way, you can avoid answering seriously if you don’t want to, and keep the mood happy and relaxed.

In this article, we’ve put together a bunch of funny and clever comebacks for when someone asks you about settling down. 

These comebacks are meant to keep things light and show that you’re happy with where you are in life. 

Remember, it’s all about having fun with the question and not taking it too seriously. So, the next time someone asks you when you’re going to settle down, you’ll have the perfect response ready to go!

Savage Comebacks For When Someone Asks You When You’re Settling Down 

man asking woman when will she marry

1. “I’m not a snowflake. I don’t plan on settling.” – This cheeky response highlights your unique path in life, emphasizing that “settling down” isn’t the same milestone for everyone.

2. “Right after I finish exploring the galaxy.” – Implies that you have so many adventures ahead that settling down isn’t even on your radar yet.

3. “I was thinking next February 30th.” – Since February 30th doesn’t exist, this comeback humorously suggests it’s not happening anytime soon.

4. “When they start selling life plans at the grocery store.” – A witty way to say you’ll settle down once making life decisions becomes as easy as picking up groceries.

5. “I’m still trying to figure out how to keep a plant alive.” – Suggests you’re working on the basics before taking on anything as big as settling down.

6. “Once I’ve tasted all the different types of coffee in the world.” – Implies you have more important (and enjoyable) priorities to attend to first.

7. “After I stop mistaking laundry detergent for dishwasher soap.” – Indicates you’re focusing on mastering daily life skills before diving into major life decisions.

8. “When people stop asking me about it.” – Points out the irony in their question and suggests their inquiry is the only thing keeping you from it.

9. “I’m too busy being awesome. Maybe later.” – Highlights that you’re living life to the fullest and don’t see the need to rush into settling down.

10. “Settle down? I haven’t even started up yet.” – Implies that you’re still in the early stages of exploring life’s possibilities and aren’t ready to think about settling.

11. “After I’ve mastered the art of disappearing when this question is asked.” – Suggests you’re working on a magical skill to avoid the question altogether.

12. “When being spontaneous becomes illegal.” – Implies you’ll only consider settling when adventure is no longer an option.

13. “Once I’ve confirmed if there’s life on Mars.” – Highlights your preference for exploration over domesticity, with a touch of humor.

14. “After I’ve watched all the cat videos on the internet.” – Because priorities are priorities, and who can settle with so much content out there?

15. “I’m scheduled for the 12th of Neveruary.” – Another humorous date that doesn’t exist, emphasizing it’s not in your plans.

16. “When my imaginary friend gets married. They’re still single, too.” – Pokes fun at the question by comparing your life timeline to that of an imaginary friend.

17. “Right after I win a gold medal in procrastination.” – Implies that settling down is on your list, but so is perfecting the art of delaying tasks.

18. “Once I’ve sampled all the pizza in Italy. Priorities, you know?” – Suggests you have more appetizing adventures to pursue first.

19. “After I’ve found the end of the rainbow. Still searching.” – Mixing the metaphorical with humor to highlight an ongoing quest for life’s wonders.

20. “When I stop mistaking my alarm for a phone call.” – Indicates you’re still working on the basics of adulting.

21. “I’ll consider it when they stop making new TV series.” – Because how can you settle when there’s so much binge-watching to do?

22. “After I’ve saved enough for retirement. In monopoly money.” – Jokes about financial readiness with a nod to the classic board game.

23. “When I no longer enjoy freedom. So, probably never.” – Celebrates the joy of independence over the pressure to conform.

24. “Once I figure out how to keep my succulents alive.” – A humorous take on mastering care for even the hardiest of plants before taking on life’s bigger commitments.

25. “I’m waiting for my pet rock to agree. It’s stubborn.” – Lightly suggests that even inanimate objects have a say in your life decisions.

26. “After I’ve explored the depths of my couch cushions.” – Implies there are still everyday adventures to be had at home.

27. “When they make a movie about my wild adventures. Still casting.” – Hints at a life too interesting to consider settling any time soon.

28. “Once I’ve learned how to cook something other than toast.” – Points to mastering culinary skills as a prerequisite for domestic life.

29. “After I finish building my empire. Blocks are hard to balance.” – Uses the metaphor of building an empire to describe the complexities of adulting.

30. “When people stop asking me about it, I might get the hint.” – Suggests that the constant questioning is what’s really keeping you from considering it.

31. “Once I’ve personally thanked every barista in the city.” – Because coffee is crucial, and those who make it deserve recognition.

32. “After I’ve solved world hunger with instant noodles.” – Combines a global issue with the staple diet of many young adults in a humorous twist.

33. “When I can teleport to work. Commutes are a deal-breaker.” – A futuristic take on settling down only when technology catches up with your needs.

34. “Once I stop laughing at my own jokes. So, eternity?” – Indicates that your sense of humor and self-amusement are far too important.

35. “After I’ve perfected the art of napping with my eyes open.” – Because who has time to settle when there are skills like this to master?

36. “When my shadow decides it’s time to stay put.” – A poetic way of saying as long as you’re moving, settling isn’t an option.

37. “I’m waiting for approval from my goldfish. It’s a tough crowd.” – Jokes about needing consent from a pet that’s not known for its attention span.

38. “After I’ve counted all the stars. I keep losing track.” – Combines the infinite with the personal, suggesting a forever ongoing task.

39. “When doing laundry becomes exciting. So, probably never.” – Laundry as a metaphor for mundane tasks that don’t appeal to your sense of adventure.

40. “Once I’ve figured out why socks disappear in the dryer.” – Suggests you have more pressing mysteries to solve before settling down can be considered.

41. “After I’ve become a legend in the procrastination hall of fame.” – Highlights your current focus on anything but settling down, with a humorous nod to procrastination.

42. “Once I’ve completed my world tour. The living room is next!” – Jokes about traveling the world from the comfort of your own home before making any major life decisions.

43. “When my pet rock gives me the go-ahead. Still waiting.” – Implies that you’re awaiting approval from the most unresponsive of judges.

44. “When I’ve finally accepted that socks will always disappear in the dryer.” – Points to life’s mysteries being solved before you can consider settling.

45. “Once my imaginary friend finds someone. I can’t leave them hanging.” – Jokes about your commitment to your childhood creations.

46. “After I’ve built my castle. Sandcastles count, right?” – Suggests your architectural ambitions might not be the most stable foundation for settling down.

47. “When I stop mistaking my alarm for a phone call.” – Highlights your morning confusion as a barrier to major life steps.

48. “Once I’ve argued with every internet troll. I’m making progress.” – Suggests a Herculean task must be completed before even considering it.

49. “After I’ve made peace with the fact that pizza is not a vegetable.” – Deals with coming to terms with dietary guidelines.

50. “When I find out where all my missing pens went. It’s a serious investigation.” – Prioritizes solving everyday mysteries over settling down.

51. “Once I’ve perfected my karaoke rendition of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’” – Because life goals should include a flawless performance of Queen’s masterpiece.

52. “After I’ve planted a tree for every bad joke I’ve made. The forest is growing.” – Shows your commitment to green earth, one bad joke at a time.

[Also Read: What To Say When Someone Calls You A Karen (50 Responses)

Best Comebacks For When Someone Asks You When You’re Settling Down

annoyed man looking at woman

53. “When I can watch a horror movie without covering my eyes. Bravery takes time.” – Suggests you’re still working on your courage.

54. “Once I’ve achieved my dream of becoming a mermaid. Still practicing.” – Keeps your options open for mythical career paths.

55. “After I’ve read every book in the library. I’m on book three, so any day now.” – Indicates your literary journey is far from over.

56. “When I learn how to survive on less than ten hours of sleep. So, never?” – Highlights your non-negotiable need for extensive beauty rest.

57. “After I’ve starred in my own reality TV show. It’s called ‘Adventures in Avoiding Adulthood.'” – Suggests your life is too interesting for the standard narrative just yet.

58. “After I finish my research on the lifespan of a mayfly. It’s fascinating!” – Sarcasm about prioritizing trivial matters over settling down.

59. “Once I’ve tasted every flavor of ice cream in the world. I take my goals seriously.” – Implies a commitment to a deliciously impossible task before considering settling.

60. “When I’ve successfully taught my dog to talk. We’re close; he’s got ‘woof’ down.” – Jokes about waiting for a miraculous pet breakthrough.

61. “After I’ve personally thanked every coffee bean for its service. It’s a big job.” – Highlights the importance of caffeine in your life over domestic milestones.

62, “When my shadow decides it’s tired of following me around. We’re inseparable for now.” – Suggests you’re enjoying your freedom too much to think about settling.

63. “Once I’ve mastered the art of making cereal without any spillage. It’s a skill.” – Uses a mundane task to humorously deflect the question.

64. “After I’ve watched paint dry in every color. I’m currently on ‘eggshell’.” – Pretends to be occupied with watching paint dry as a priority.

65. “When I find a genie to grant me three wishes. Still looking for that lamp.” – Implies settling down is contingent on finding magical solutions to life.

66. “Once I’ve convinced my plants not to die on me. They’re stubborn.” – Suggests you’re not ready for bigger commitments if you can’t even keep plants alive.

67. “After I’ve solved the mystery of the missing socks. It’s a conspiracy, I tell you!” – Prioritizes solving household mysteries over personal milestones.

68. “When I figure out how to make a fortune from my living room. Work in progress.” – Implies financial independence (in a dreamy way) comes before settling.

69. “Once I’ve completed my quest to find the perfect pillow. Sleep is important.” – Indicates the quest for comfort trumps all other life decisions.

70. “After I’ve learned not to burn toast. Baby steps to adulthood.” – Jokes about mastering basic cooking skills before taking on adult life fully.

71. “When being spontaneous is outlawed. Until then, I roam free.” – Highlights a love for spontaneity over the predictability of settling down.

72. “Once I’ve crafted the perfect comeback for this question. Still working on it.” – A meta-comment on the very act of responding to the inquiry.

73. “After I’ve watched all the stars in the sky. My night’s booked.” – Implies a romantic or whimsical reason for delaying settling down.

74. “When my life becomes a musical, and this is the opening number.” – Suggests waiting for life to be as dramatic and choreographed as a musical.

75. “Once I’ve learned to fold a fitted sheet perfectly. It’s the ultimate test.” – Uses a common domestic challenge to humorously deflect the question.

76. “After I’ve become a connoisseur of fine ramen noodles. It’s a refined taste.” – Pokes fun at having gourmet aspirations that align more with student life.

77. “When I no longer enjoy the thrill of chasing the ice cream truck. It’s exhilarating.” – Cherishes childlike joys over adult responsibilities.

78. “Once I’ve built a fort that can withstand adult responsibilities. Still collecting pillows.” – Imagines a physical barrier against the pressures of adult life.

79. “After I’ve found Atlantis. I hear it’s lovely this time of year.” – Puts off settling down for an impossible and mythical adventure.

80. “When my collection of takeout menus is complete. I’m close to curating a museum.” – Elevates the habit of collecting menus to an art form, humorously suggesting it’s a higher priority.

81. “Once I’ve attended a concert by every band I’ve ever liked. My playlist is long.” – Suggests a commitment to live music experiences over domesticity.

82. “After I perfect the art of sleeping with my eyes open during meetings. It’s a skill.” – Jokes about developing unconventional skills as a prelude to settling down.

83. “When I can recite every line from my favorite movies in reverse. It’s a party trick in progress.” – Suggests focusing on quirky, unnecessary goals rather than settling down.

84. “Once I’ve made peace with the fact that cereal is the only cooking I excel at.” – Accepts culinary limitations as a humorous reason to delay other life milestones.

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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