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During a breakup, we experience different emotions but they’re also a time when our lives become entangled with our ex’s belongings. 

Sometimes, it’s easy to divide up and return what belongs to each other, but there are times when one person just doesn’t seem to care about getting their stuff back. 

If you still have some of your ex’s belongings and have been waiting for them to reclaim their belongings, it’s natural to wonder why they haven’t done so yet. 

That’s why we’ve written this article, to discuss some of the possible reasons your ex hasn’t asked for his stuff back, and what this could mean for your relationship.

1. He’s Hoping for a Reconciliation

One of the most common reasons an ex might not ask for their stuff back is that they’re holding onto the possibility of a reconciliation. 

By leaving their belongings with you, they may be maintaining a connection, albeit a material one, to keep the door open for a potential reunion.

Consider a situation where you had a heated argument that led to a breakup. Your ex might be taking some time to cool down, and hoping that you both can work things out eventually. 

Not asking for his stuff back could be a sign that he doesn’t want the breakup to be permanent.

2. He’s Afraid of the Finality

Another reason your ex might not have asked for his belongings is that he’s afraid of the finality that comes with severing all ties. Picking up his things would mean accepting that the relationship is truly over, and some people aren’t ready to face that reality.

This fear of finality can manifest in different ways. For example, your ex might be struggling to let go of the memories and emotions that the relationship brought, and his belongings might serve as a reminder of the life you once shared. 

He may be stalling as a way to avoid facing the pain that comes with moving on.

[Related: When Does Breakup Hit the Dumper?]

3. He’s Trying to Move On

On the other hand, your ex might be trying to move on from the relationship, and leaving his things behind might be his way of creating distance from you. 

This could be because he sees his belongings as a painful reminder of the past, and by not asking for them back, he’s trying to cut all ties and heal faster.

If you notice that your ex has stopped reaching out or engaging with you, it could be a sign that he’s focusing on moving on. This decision might not be easy for him, but he could believe that leaving his things behind is a necessary step in the healing process.

4. He’s Indifferent

It’s also possible that your ex simply doesn’t care about his belongings. Some people attach less sentimental value to material possessions, so they might not feel any urgency to get them back. 

He might be prioritizing his emotional well-being over his belongings, or he may have replaced the items already. For example, if your ex left a toothbrush or a few clothes at your place, he might not see them as essential items and could easily replace them. 

In this case, the lack of communication about his belongings may not hold any deeper meaning about the relationship—it could just be that he’s not attached to his possessions.

5. He’s Waiting for You to Reach Out

He could also be waiting for you to make the first move and offer to return his belongings. If you ended the relationship on bad terms, he might not want to reach out, fearing that you won’t be receptive to his request.

He might be waiting for the right time to ask for his things back, or he might hope that you’ll be the one to initiate the conversation. 

If you’re ready to return his belongings, consider reaching out to him and offering to arrange a time for him to pick them up or for you to drop them off. This could be a way for both of you to find closure and move forward.

[Also read: 10 Obvious Signs He Loves His Ex More Than You]

6. He’s Using His Belongings as an Excuse

Sometimes, an ex might leave their belongings behind as an excuse to maintain contact. By not asking for his stuff back, he could be keeping a line of communication open, allowing him to check in on you or even try to rekindle the relationship.

With this, his belongings might serve as a safety net, giving him a reason to reach out if he ever wants to talk or see you again. This might not necessarily mean he wants to get back together, but it could indicate that he’s not entirely ready to let go of the connection you once had.

7. He’s Trying to Avoid an Awkward Situation

Breakups can be emotionally taxing, and the thought of seeing each other again might be overwhelming for both you and your ex. He might not ask for his belongings back simply because he’s trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation.

Imagine a scenario where your breakup was particularly painful or dramatic. Your ex might be worried about the emotional turmoil that could arise from seeing you again, and he might prefer to leave his belongings behind rather than risk reopening old wounds.

8. He’s Unsure of How to Approach the Situation

If your ex hasn’t asked for his stuff back, it could also be because he’s unsure of how to approach the situation. 

He might be worried about how you’ll react or unsure of what to say. This could be especially true if you ended the relationship on bad terms or if there’s still unresolved tension between you.

Your ex might be waiting for the right moment or for things to cool down before asking for his belongings. He could be giving you space and time to heal, or he might be working on his own emotions before he feels comfortable discussing the matter.

[Interesting: 50 Status to Make Your Ex Jealous]

Should You Ask Him If He Wants His Stuff Back?

After a breakup, it’s natural to wonder whether you should reach out to your ex about their belongings. While there’s no definitive answer that applies to every situation, there are a few factors to consider before making the decision.

1. Assess the Emotional State of Both Parties

Before reaching out to your ex, take a moment to assess your emotional state, as well as what you think his emotional state might be. If you’re both still feeling raw and hurt from the breakup, it might not be the best time to initiate a conversation about belongings. 

Give both of you some time to process your emotions and find a sense of calm before broaching the topic.

2. Consider the Significance of the Belongings

Take into account the significance of the items your ex left behind. If they’re relatively unimportant or easily replaceable, it might not be necessary to reach out immediately. 

However, if he left behind valuable or sentimental items, it’s likely more important to have a conversation about returning them.

[Related: 10 Signs Your Ex is Pretending to Be Over You]

3. Respect Boundaries

It’s still necessary to respect the boundaries that have been set after the breakup. If your ex has made it clear that they don’t want any contact, it’s best to respect their wishes and hold off on discussing their belongings. 

If, on the other hand, you’ve maintained a civil or friendly relationship, reaching out about his stuff should be less of an issue.

4. Gauge the Impact on Your Healing Process

Ask yourself how reaching out to your ex might impact your healing process. If you feel that discussing his belongings will set you back emotionally, it might be better to wait until you’re in a more stable place. 

Your well-being should be a priority during this time, so don’t feel pressured to deal with his belongings if it’s not in your best interest.

5. Choose the Right Time and Method

If you decide to reach out to your ex about his belongings, be thoughtful about the timing and method of communication. 

Consider sending a text or email rather than calling, as this can give both of you space to respond thoughtfully and avoid any immediate emotional reactions.

Be mindful of the tone you use in your message. Keep it neutral and concise, focusing solely on the matter at hand. By doing so, you can minimize the risk of reopening old wounds or sparking an argument.

[Also read: “Why Did My Ex Call Me Late at Night?”: 10 Surprising Reasons]

6. Be Prepared for Potential Outcomes

Most of all, be prepared for a range of potential outcomes. Your ex might be grateful that you reached out and may want to make arrangements to collect his belongings quickly. Alternatively, he may not be ready to deal with the situation or may respond negatively.

Regardless of the outcome, your primary responsibility is to yourself and your healing process. By considering these factors and approaching the situation thoughtfully, you can navigate this delicate post-breakup issue with grace and care.


It’ll be difficult to decipher the particular reason why your ex hasn’t asked for his stuff back. The reasons can range from wanting to maintain a connection, fear of finality, indifference, or even avoiding awkward situations. 

The reasons behind your ex’s silence might be unique and different from someone else’s. If you feel it’s time to return his belongings, consider reaching out and offering to do so. This gesture could help both of you find closure and move forward. 

However, be prepared for any potential emotions that might arise during the exchange, and remember to prioritize your healing and well-being throughout the process.


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The Types Of Breakups That Get Back Together

The Psychology Behind Cutting Someone Off

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Anita Oge

Meet Anita, a relationship writer with a passion for helping people navigate the complexities of love and dating. With a background in information science, she has a wealth of knowledge and insight to share. Her writing is sure to leave you feeling empowered and inspired.

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