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Sometimes, you meet someone, and everything just clicks into place. You share laughs, dreams, and delicious pizza at 3 AM. 

You feel like you’re on top of the world, and you can’t imagine being with anyone else. 

But sometimes, things can go in the opposite direction. There can be days filled with fights, misunderstandings, and an aching loneliness, even when you’re in the same room together. 

You start to wonder, “Is this how it’s supposed to be?” or “Are we really meant for each other?” 

Love can be tricky, and it’s not always easy to recognize when a relationship isn’t working. 

So, how do you know when your relationship might not be the right fit? What are the red flags you should look out for? 

That’s exactly what we’re going to talk about in this article. I’ve put together seven signs that might suggest you and your partner just might not be meant to be together. 

1. Consistently Negative Interactions 

The first thing to consider is the overall atmosphere of your interactions. 

A crucial aspect of any healthy relationship is positive communication, and a predominance of negativity can be a glaring red flag.

Sure, every relationship has its ups and downs, and arguments are a normal part of the dynamic. 

However, when your disagreements start to eclipse your good times, you might need to take a step back and reflect. It’s concerning when you notice that every discussion turns into a fight, and the happy, affectionate moments become increasingly rare.

In essence, it boils down to this: if you’re spending more time feeling upset, lonely, disrespected, or unheard than you are feeling loved and appreciated, something isn’t right.

[Related: Gut Feeling You’re Meant to be With Someone? 10 Signs You’re Right]

2. No Shared Vision of the Future 

When you're not just meant to be together

Picture your ideal future. Now think about your partner’s. Do they align? In a partnership that’s meant to last, both parties generally have shared or compatible visions for the future.

Many relationships begin without a clear picture of where they’re headed, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly fine not to have every detail planned out from the get-go. 

But as time goes on and the relationship deepens, a disconnect in future goals becomes increasingly problematic.

Perhaps you’re dreaming of a suburban home with kids and a golden retriever, while your partner craves an urban lifestyle filled with travel and adventure. 

Or maybe you’re deeply committed to a demanding career, while your partner yearns for a life partner who’s home most evenings. Such fundamental differences can become insurmountable barriers over time.

These are difficult issues to reconcile, and they suggest that you may simply be on different life paths. Love alone can’t overcome such profound discrepancies in life goals.

3. Feeling Alone in the Relationship 

When you’re in a committed relationship, you expect to have a companion, a confidante, a partner in crime. Yet, there are times when, despite being in a relationship, you might find yourself feeling utterly alone.

You may be sharing a life together, but you’re emotionally distant. 

You might notice that you’re carrying the burdens of life alone or that your partner isn’t there for you in times of emotional need.

This kind of loneliness isn’t about physical proximity; it’s about emotional connection. 

When you reach out for comfort or support and find emptiness, it might be a sign that the bond between you isn’t as strong as it should be.

Feeling alone in a relationship can be one of the loneliest experiences. It signals a fundamental disconnect, and, often, it’s a sign of a relationship that isn’t functioning as it should.

[Read: 7 Signs You Are Meant to Be Together]

4. Constant Attempts to Change Each Other 

7 signs you're not meant for each other

Acceptance is the foundation of any strong relationship. While it’s normal to help each other grow, there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed. 

That line is when help becomes an attempt to fundamentally change who your partner is.

It’s not uncommon to think that your partner would be “perfect” if only they changed a little. 

Maybe you wish they were more ambitious, more organized, or less emotional. But the moment you find yourself constantly wishing they were someone else, you’ve crossed that line. 

Instead of cherishing the person your partner is, you might be in love with the person you want them to be. This constant yearning for change is likely to cause resentment and dissatisfaction on both sides.

“True love is about accepting your partner with all their quirks and foibles. In a healthy relationship, change should be inspired, not imposed.”

5. Lack of Trust 

Trust goes beyond simply believing that your partner won’t cheat on you. It also means trusting them with your feelings, your dreams, and your vulnerabilities.

When you’re in a relationship where you always feel the need to check your partner’s phone, question their actions, or doubt their intentions, it’s a major sign of trouble. 

A lack of trust is like a poison, it seeps into every interaction and undermines the foundation of your connection.

What’s more, when you’re unable to share your deepest thoughts and fears because you don’t trust your partner’s response, it implies that the emotional intimacy needed for a lasting bond is lacking.

A relationship without trust is like a car without fuel. It simply can’t go anywhere.

[Related: When God Wants You With Someone, This Will Happen]

6. Incompatible Core Values 

Photo by Drazen Zigic from freepik

Values are like the compass guiding our lives. They influence our decisions, our actions, and how we perceive the world around us. 

For a relationship to thrive, it’s crucial that partners’ core values align—or at least, don’t clash in significant ways. 

When you value family above all else, but your partner sees family as an afterthought, conflict is likely to occur. 

If you’re dedicated to environmental sustainability, but your partner disregards recycling, tensions might arise. Discrepancies in core values can become a recurring source of disagreement.

When your value systems continually clash, it means there’s an underlying incompatibility that can make harmonious long-term coexistence difficult. 

Sometimes, love isn’t about finding someone exactly like you, but it does involve finding someone whose values and beliefs complement your own.

7. Your Intuition Tells You Something Is Off 

Lastly, never underestimate the power of your intuition. 

Sometimes it manifests as a vague sense of unease, an inexplicable discomfort, or a gut feeling that something isn’t right.

You might have everything on paper—a partner who’s kind, loving, and committed. But despite it all, if there’s a voice in your head that just won’t quiet down, it’s worth paying attention to. 

Your intuition is the culmination of your subconscious observations, and when it rings the alarm bell, it’s often for a good reason.

While it can be scary to confront these feelings, remember that your intuition exists to protect you. It’s always wise to take a step back, reassess, and listen to that inner voice.

[Read: 6 Signs They Are Not “The One” For You]

Wrapping up 

Love is complex, and relationships even more so. These signs aren’t a definitive checklist but a guide to aid self-reflection. If these signs resonate with you, it might be time to have a heart-to-heart with your partner. Remember, you deserve a relationship that brings joy, respect, and mutual growth.


1. What if only one or two of these signs are present in my relationship?

Just because you identify with one or two signs doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed. 

No relationship is perfect; each has its unique set of challenges and areas for growth. It’s crucial to assess the severity and frequency of these signs. 

A one-off incident or minor issue can often be resolved through communication or professional help, like couples therapy.

However, keep an eye out for patterns. If you repeatedly notice the same problems, or if a particular issue is causing significant distress, it’s worth paying attention to. 

Remember, these signs serve as a guide to understanding your relationship dynamics and shouldn’t be taken as a conclusive judgment.

2. How can I communicate these concerns to my partner?

Open, honest communication is key. If you’ve recognized some of these signs in your relationship, it’s crucial to discuss them with your partner. 

Start by finding a calm, quiet time when you’re both free from distractions. Approach the conversation with respect and kindness, expressing your feelings without blaming or criticizing.

Remember, these are sensitive topics and might be difficult for your partner to hear. Give them space to process your words and respond. 

Be prepared for resistance or defensiveness, but maintain your calm. The goal is to foster understanding and seek solutions together, not to win an argument.

[Related: 7 Signs You’re More Like Roommates than Spouses]

3. Can a relationship recover after recognizing these signs?

Absolutely. Recognizing these signs is the first step toward resolving issues. Many couples experience these problems and, with effort and commitment, manage to turn their relationships around. 

However, it’s important to note that both partners must be willing to acknowledge the issues and work towards resolution.

The process of recovery might involve open communication, behavioral changes, or seeking professional help. 

It’s not always easy, but with patience and persistence, many relationships not only recover but come out stronger. It’s also important to remember that sometimes, despite our best efforts, relationships don’t work out – and that’s okay. 

The goal is to strive for healthy, fulfilling relationships, whether they’re with others or with ourselves.

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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