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Have you ever felt like a guy you care about is suddenly not talking to you as much? Like he’s keeping his distance or ignoring you on purpose? 

It can be really confusing and hurtful. This article will talk about a topic that many people have experienced: “when guys test by ignoring you”.

Sometimes in relationships, a guy might act distant to see how you’ll react. This is often called “testing.” 

Some guys might think, “If I ignore her, will she come after me? Does she really care?” While it might sound strange, it happens more often than we think.

But why do some people feel the need to test others? Is it a sign of insecurity? Or maybe it’s a way to gain control? It’s important to understand the reasons behind such behavior. 

This article will help you make sense of these confusing situations, so you can decide what’s best for you and your relationship.

Which Type of Guys Test You By Ignoring You

Which Type of Guys Test You By Ignoring You

1. The Power Player 

This guy thrives on control. He believes that by making you wait, he’s setting the pace of the relationship. 

These guys aren’t necessarily bad; they just have a different approach to relationships, one that revolves around being the dominant force.

But while they might seem all confident and assertive, deep down, they’re as vulnerable as anyone else. 

Ignoring might just be their shield, their way of protecting themselves from getting too emotionally invested too soon. Remember, everyone has their defense mechanisms. For some, it’s silence.

2. Mr. Fearful of Commitment 

The guy who’s afraid of getting too close, too soon. He’ll draw you in, make you feel special, and then, poof, he’s gone, at least for a while. 

The fear of commitment can make people do strange things, and sometimes, creating distance is their go-to move. They might not even be aware they’re doing it.

Ever been on a roller coaster? The highs, the lows, the adrenaline? Dating Mr. Fearful is a bit like that. One moment everything’s perfect, and the next, there’s this chilling silence. 

It’s not necessarily a “test” in the traditional sense. Instead, it’s their way of processing their feelings, of making sense of the whirlwind emotions they’re experiencing.

[Related: What Is The Best Reply When Someone Ignores You?]

3. The Insecure  

do guys test you by ignoring you

The insecure guy is constantly battling his own doubts and fears. To him, ignoring might not be a deliberate test, but rather a result of his own uncertainties. 

He might wonder, “Does she really like me? Am I good enough? What if I say something wrong?” 

These overwhelming questions can sometimes lead him to pull away, just to see if you’d notice.

But underneath that exterior, he’s craving validation. He’s not necessarily trying to play games; he’s just genuinely unsure of where he stands. So, he might retreat, hoping you’ll pull him back in.

4. The Media-Influenced Guy 

He’s read the articles, watched the movies, and listened to the “relationship experts” who say that playing hard to get is the key to a woman’s heart. So, he tries it out. He genuinely believes that’s how modern dating works.

But here’s what’s interesting. This guy is often genuinely looking for a connection. He’s just a bit misguided in his approach. He thinks that by being a bit aloof, he’s increasing his desirability. 

And who can blame him, with all the mixed messages out there? It’s a bit like following a diet trend without checking if it’s suitable for you. 

[Read: What It Means When Your Ex Ignores You But Doesn’t Block You]


Reasons Why A Guy Would Test You By Ignoring You

Reasons Why A Guy Would Test You By Ignoring You

1. He Wants to Gauge Your Interest Level 

So, picture this: a guy is genuinely into you, but he’s not quite sure if you feel the same. Instead of straight-up asking, he decides to take a step back and see how you’d react. 

Will you reach out? Will you notice his absence? It’s a risky move, but some guys think it’s worth it. They believe your reaction will give them a clearer picture of where they stand.

But here’s the thing, not every silent moment is a test. Sometimes, life gets in the way, and he could be genuinely busy. 

However, if you do sense a pattern, it might be worth checking in. Just a simple, “Hey, been a while, is everything okay?” can clear the air. After all, who said only guys can take the initiative?

2. The Fear of Getting Too Close 

We’ve all been there. Those moments when things feel too good, almost surreal. And for some, that can be terrifying. 

Pulling away, going silent, it’s all a defense mechanism. He might be worried about getting hurt or repeating past mistakes. It’s not always about you; sometimes, it’s about his own fears and insecurities.

Remember that old saying, “It’s not you, it’s me?” Well, sometimes it’s true. When a guy has been burned before, he might be hesitant to dive in headfirst again. 

The silent treatment? It’s his way of creating a safety net, a buffer to protect his feelings. The key here is patience and understanding.

No one said love was a smooth ride, but it’s the bumps along the way that make the journey worth it.

[Interesting: Should You Ignore Her After She Cancels A Date? (10 Things To Consider)

3. He’s Feeling Insecure 

You’ve been getting along well, maybe even shared a few laughs and intimate moments. Suddenly, he goes all radio silent on you. Confusing, right? It might just be his insecurities bubbling up. 

Questions like, “Am I good enough for her?” or “What if she loses interest?” can be daunting for anyone, especially if they’ve been let down before.

Remember those times you doubted yourself? Yeah, guys have those moments too. And sometimes, instead of confronting these feelings, they opt to retreat into their shell, hoping to safeguard their emotions. 

But here’s a little secret: deep down, they’re yearning for assurance. A gentle nudge, a comforting word can often be the bridge that mends the communication gap.

4. He Wants to Maintain His Independence 

Ever heard of the phrase, “Too much of a good thing can be bad”? Some guys genuinely believe in it. They worry that getting too close too soon might make them lose their sense of self. 

So, what they do is pull away, create some space, just to ensure they still have their own identity intact.

But here’s where it gets interesting. It’s not always about not wanting to be with you. Sometimes, it’s about balancing personal space with relationship space. 

5. He’s Evaluating His Feelings 

Maybe he’s assessing his feelings, trying to understand the depth of his emotions. It’s not about playing games; it’s about introspection. Emotions can be messy and overwhelming.

Imagine being at a crossroads, unsure which path to take. That’s what it feels like for him. The silence? It’s his way of processing, of making sense of the whirlwind of feelings he’s going through. 

And trust me, it’s better to have a partner who’s sure of his emotions than one who’s just going with the flow without any real depth.

[Related: 10 Things That Happen When You Ignore A Ghoster]

6. Past Baggage Weighing Him Down 

We all carry a bit of our past with us, don’t we? Previous relationships, heartbreaks, betrayals – they leave scars. 

And sometimes, these scars flare up, especially when things are going well. It’s like a reflex; when things seem too good to be true, old fears resurface, leading him to retreat.

But, what if, instead of seeing his withdrawal as a red flag, you saw it as an opportunity? An opportunity to build trust, to show him that not every relationship will end in heartbreak. Sometimes, all it takes is a leap of faith, from both sides.

7. He’s Afraid of Vulnerability 

do guys test you by ignoring you

Opening up, letting someone in, showing your true self – sounds scary, right? For some guys, vulnerability is a no-go zone. 

They’re conditioned to believe that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. So, when they find themselves getting close to someone, their defense mechanism kicks in, and they pull away.

What if his silence was a silent cry for understanding? For someone to tell him that it’s okay to be vulnerable, to have feelings, to not always have everything figured out? 

8. A Desire for Power and Control 

Some guys believe that by controlling the pace of communication, they’re setting the tone for the relationship. They think that by being unpredictable, they become more desirable. It’s a bit like playing hard to get, but with a twist.

Relationships built on power plays are on shaky ground. Trust, understanding, and mutual respect form the foundation of any lasting bond. 

If you feel someone is deliberately pulling away to gain the upper hand, it might be time for a chat. Because a relationship is a partnership, not a competition.

9. The Influence of Friends and Media 

Guys chat, gossip, and discuss dating strategies just like anyone else. And sometimes, they get some questionable advice. 

Maybe a friend told him to “keep you on your toes,” or he read an article about “making her miss you.” It’s not always malicious; sometimes, it’s just misguided.

But here’s a thought: maybe he’s just trying to navigate the tricky waters of dating, just like you. With so much information out there, it’s easy to get lost and try strategies that don’t necessarily align with one’s character.


How should you react when a guy ignores you?

First things first, don’t panic. Easier said than done, I know, but it’s crucial to avoid jumping to conclusions. 

Your first instinct might be to bombard him with messages or questions where you went wrong. But remember, everyone deserves their personal space, and sometimes taking a step back can provide clarity. 

Instead, give it a bit of time, ensure you’re communicating your feelings without being confrontational, and always trust your gut feeling. 

If the silence is concerning, approach the situation with an open mind and heart, aiming for understanding rather than accusations.

Relationships are built on mutual respect, and if you feel you’re constantly being ignored, it might be time for some self-reflection. 

What does a man think when he ignores you?

What does a man think when he ignores you?

Peering into the mind of someone else is always a challenge, and when it comes to understanding what a man thinks when he ignores you, it can be a myriad of things. 

Some men might believe that distancing themselves will give them time to reflect and understand their feelings. They might assume that by pulling away, they’re protecting both you and themselves from rushed decisions or confrontations.

On the flip side, some might be under the misguided impression that by being elusive, they become more desirable or are setting boundaries. Sometimes, it’s just how they’ve been conditioned to handle emotions or conflict. 

[Related: How To Test Your Boyfriend’s Loyalty Over Text]

Why would a guy purposely ignore you?

For some, ignoring you on purpose might be a protective mechanism – they might be dealing with personal issues, past baggage, or fears of getting too close and feel that distancing themselves is the best way to cope. 

They may believe that by creating distance, they can control the narrative of the relationship or safeguard their emotions.

However, for others, it could be a misguided strategy, influenced by peer advice or media, thinking it’s a way to ‘keep the mystery alive’ or maintain the upper hand in the relationship. 

Does ignoring a guy make him want you more?

Some people believe that by being aloof or unavailable, it increases desirability or interest. And to be honest, for some guys, this might pique their curiosity or make them pursue harder. 

The idea is rooted in the psychological principle of wanting what we can’t have.

However, genuine, lasting relationships are built on trust, transparency, and mutual respect. Consistently ignoring someone as a strategy can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and an unstable foundation for a relationship.


  • All photos from freepik.com

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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