There’s nothing wrong with partying when you’re in a relationship. As a matter of fact, it’s fun. It’s an opportunity to let loose, meet new people, and just generally have a good time.
But, as with everything in life, it has to be in the right balance.
When partying becomes more than an occasional fun night out for your girlfriend, when it starts to creep into her everyday life, taking a toll on her mental health and energy that should be for the relationship, then it becomes a problem.
Yet, it’s not as simple as telling her to stop. You want her to have fun, but you also need to feel comfortable in the relationship.
You don’t want to limit her freedom, but you also need to ensure the relationship is not losing its balance.
How to Know Your Girlfriend’s Partying Habit Is A Problem
1. It’s Affecting Her Health
You might notice your girlfriend is constantly fatigued or frequently unwell, especially after party nights.
She might frequently come down with colds, severe hangovers, or even unexplained aches.
These could be signs her body is not getting enough rest and recovery time due to frequent partying.
Also, take note if her eating habits have changed or if she’s lost significant weight. These could be indicative of neglecting her nutritional needs, which is quite common in people with heavy partying habits.
Consistent neglect of physical health for the sake of partying is a clear red flag.
2. Performance at Work or School Is Declining
This could be at her workplace or in her academics, depending on her current life stage. Is she frequently late, missing days, or just not performing to her usual standards?
Maybe her grades are dropping, or she’s receiving negative feedback at work. A constant decline in performance coupled with increased partying is certainly cause for concern.
3. Financial Issues
Partying frequently isn’t cheap. From club entries, drinks, to the cost of outfits – it adds up.
You might notice she’s always short on money or has begun to neglect her financial responsibilities.
If she’s continually borrowing money or running up credit card debt to fund her partying lifestyle, it’s definitely a red flag.
It’s normal to splurge occasionally on fun activities. But if she’s regularly overspending on partying to the point it’s causing financial strain, that’s a problem.
[Related: 7 Signs You’re Just Not Meant To Be Together]
4. She’s Always Recovering from Party Nights
Partying occasionally means having the occasional recovery day. But, if she’s spending most of her free time recovering from party nights, it might indicate a problem.
You might notice she’s always sleeping in, nursing a hangover, or just not being productive on her off days because she’s recuperating.
Spending so much time recovering from partying can also affect her relationships, hobbies, and responsibilities.
It’s okay to need downtime, but when downtime becomes ‘recovering from partying’ time, it’s a sign her partying habit might be excessive.
5. Change in Behavior or Personality
Is she more irritable or less patient than before? Does she seem less interested in activities she used to enjoy?
Also, if you notice she’s become secretive or defensive about her partying, it’s a sign that she might be aware it’s a problem but is unwilling or unable to address it.
Substantial behavioral changes are always worth paying attention to, especially if they coincide with a rise in partying.
[Also read: 5 Qualities To Look For In Your Life Partner]
What to Do If Your Girlfriend Parties Too Much
1. Understand Her Perspective
Your girlfriend enjoys partying, and that’s okay. People are entitled to their hobbies and interests.
But when these interests begin to disrupt your relationship, it’s worth stepping back and evaluating the situation.
When she’s out partying, what is it that attracts her to the scene? Is it the socializing, the dancing, or maybe just the atmosphere?
It’s essential to grasp her motivations before addressing the issue, because it helps you come from a place of understanding, not judgment.
Just remember, there’s a difference between understanding and accepting.
You might comprehend why she loves partying, but that doesn’t mean you have to be okay with it affecting your relationship.
Yet, a clear understanding of her perspective is a vital first step.
2. Talk to Her About Your Concerns
Once you’ve understood her point of view, it’s time to express yours.
This isn’t about issuing ultimatums or making her feel guilty. This is about having a heart-to-heart where you share your concerns.
You could be feeling ignored, unappreciated, or even worried about her safety. These are legitimate feelings and deserve to be aired.
But keep in mind, it’s not what you say, but how you say it that matters. Come from a place of love, not frustration. Let her know you’re sharing because you care about her and the relationship.
[Interesting: 7 Signs Of An Incompatible Relationship]
3. Set Boundaries Together
After understanding and communicating, the next step is setting boundaries. Here’s where you don’t just voice your concerns but actively participate in creating a solution.
A great relationship thrives on compromise, not one person bending entirely to the other’s will.
When creating these boundaries, involve her in the process. It shouldn’t feel like rules imposed by you, but rather, mutually agreed-upon guidelines.
For example, you could agree on a certain number of nights out per week or month, or specific days when parties are okay.
The essence here is to balance her love for partying with your need for shared quality time, or whatever else might be at stake.
This approach underscores respect for each other’s needs and the willingness to make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship.
4. Try to Share Her Interests
One method to deal with a girlfriend who parties constantly is by joining her. Now, this doesn’t mean you suddenly need to become a party animal.
But occasionally participating in her interests can bring you closer and give you an insight into her world.
By accompanying her, you not only get to spend time together but also understand her better. You might even end up enjoying it,
However, ensure it doesn’t become a chore or an obligation. That’s not the point here. The idea is to share experiences and grow together, not force oneself into undesirable situations.
Of course, this strategy might not work for everyone. But giving it a shot might reveal new facets of your relationship.
At the very least, it demonstrates your willingness to step out of your comfort zone for her.
5. Explore Alternative Social Activities
Could it be that your girlfriend’s heavy partying habits are a result of not knowing other fun social activities?
The party scene does offer an easy, all-in-one package for letting loose, socializing and having fun.
Why not take the lead and suggest some alternatives? Outdoor activities like hiking or camping, for example, can be exhilarating experiences. Or you could explore the world of hobbies together.
From painting classes to cooking lessons, there’s a whole universe of experiences waiting to be discovered.
[Read: Bored With Your Girlfriend? What to Do About it]
6. Involve Her Friends
In most cases, partying is a group activity. And there’s a good chance that your girlfriend’s social circle plays a significant role in her partying habits.
So, instead of just addressing the issue with your girlfriend, why not involve her friends in the solution?
Now, I’m not suggesting you go all out and confront them. What I mean is for you to subtly influence the group dynamics.
For instance, suggest a group activity that doesn’t revolve around partying. Organize a movie night, a beach day, or even a group trip.
Creating an environment where fun isn’t synonymous with partying might have a positive influence on her habits. You never know, they might just be looking for a break from the party scene as well!
7. Trust and Patience
Your girlfriend is her own person with her own journey and experiences. You’ve communicated your worries, suggested alternatives, and even sought professional help if necessary.
It’s now up to her to decide the next steps.
In the meantime, patience is your best friend. Changes don’t happen overnight, especially when it comes to lifestyle habits.
There might be times when progress seems slow or even nonexistent. But hang in there, as long as you see a genuine effort from her side, there’s hope.
Trusting her also shows respect for her autonomy. It shows that, while you have concerns, you’re not here to control her life but to support her through her decisions.
[Relate: 7 Signs of A Loyal Girlfriend]
8. Professional Help, If Necessary
Look, sometimes things can be a bit more serious than they initially appear.
If her constant partying is taking a toll on her health, career, or other important aspects of life, it might be time to consider professional help.
Approach this thoughtfully, though. You’re not diagnosing her or labeling her behavior.
Instead, you’re offering a route to understand herself better and maybe uncover any underlying issues that might be fueling the excessive partying.
But remember, the decision to seek professional help must be hers. You can only present it as an option and support her.
When Do You Draw The Line With A Girl Who Parties All The Time?
A good indicator that it’s time to draw the line is when you’ve talked to her repeatedly but she still refuses to change.
Meaning, her partying habit still consistently compromises the relationship and your own well-being.
This could manifest in various ways – perhaps you’re constantly worried, feeling neglected or even finding yourself embroiled in conflicts over her excessive partying.
Another crucial point to consider is whether she is neglecting her own health and responsibilities due to constant partying.
If you notice signs of physical deterioration, decreased performance at work or school, financial issues or substantial behavioral changes, it might be time to draw the line.
This isn’t just about the relationship anymore, but her well-being too.
FAQs
Is it wrong to party while in a relationship?
Being in a relationship shouldn’t curtail your social life or hobbies, and this includes partying. It’s completely fine to enjoy partying while in a relationship.
What’s more important is balance and consideration. Ensure that your partying habits don’t interfere with your relationship responsibilities or make your partner uncomfortable.
It’s also crucial to let your partner know about your plans, keep them updated if necessary, and be understanding if they voice any concerns.
How do I tell my girlfriend I don’t like her clubbing?
Communicating your feelings to your girlfriend about her clubbing habits requires tact and understanding.
Start by making sure you understand your own feelings. Are you concerned for her safety, feeling neglected, or is it triggering trust issues?
Once you’re clear about your emotions, you can approach her with an open conversation.
You can also suggest alternatives or compromises that could work for both of you. Just make sure there is clear communication and mutual respect.
[Also read: 6 Surefire Signs Your Woman Is Cheating]
How do I trust my girlfriend on a night out?
If you’re struggling with trusting your girlfriend on a night out, it’s crucial to reflect on why. Is it due to past experiences, insecurities, or her actions?
Understanding the root cause can help address the issue effectively.
Have a conversation with her about your concerns. Maybe you both can come up with solutions that make you feel more comfortable – like regular check-ins or sharing plans beforehand.
Keep in mind, these should not be controlling actions but ways to build trust and security in the relationship.
- All photos from freepik.com