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All players have one thing in common – they rely on ambiguity, emotion, and predictability to keep you engaged in their game.

They bank on the fact that you’re unaware of their tactics, too emotionally invested, and your actions are easy to predict. 

But, what happens when you flip the script and become the strategist instead of the pawn in the game?

As the saying goes, knowledge is your power, and your moves are your weapons. 

But understand that what you learn from this article isn’t about becoming manipulative or resorting to their tactics. Rather, it’s about learning and understanding how she thinks so that you don’t fall for her mind games anymore.

The aim here is not to outplay but to play wisely, to ensure your emotional well-being and integrity aren’t compromised in the face of these games. Let’s get started. 

1. First, Understand the Game

Understanding what’s going on is the first and most important step. The player often relies on a lack of clarity to continue playing their game. 

So, recognize the signs: inconsistent behavior, playing hot and cold, evasiveness, or treating your feelings nonchalantly. Identifying these patterns can give you the upper hand.

However, it’s important not to jump to conclusions. Everybody can have off days, and these behaviors aren’t always indicative of manipulation. 

It’s when they become consistent that you need to become alert. This isn’t about becoming paranoid but about being perceptive.

By doing so, you empower yourself. You’ll be less prone to getting caught up in the cycle of games and confusion.

Also, it’ll help you to strategize and act more deliberately. In essence, you’re moving from being a mere pawn to becoming a player. Let’s continue. 

2. Emotional Detachment

How to play a player

Games can’t be played without an emotional response. And that’s what the player often preys on – your emotional reactions. 

Hence, learning to maintain emotional detachment is vital if you want to counter the player’s tactics. 

You need to stay calm, keep your emotions in check, and refuse to let their actions dictate your emotional state.

This isn’t about becoming stoic or apathetic but about managing your emotional reactions effectively. 

You don’t need to ignore your feelings; acknowledge them but don’t let them control your actions or decisions. 

This way, you can think clearly and act more logically, which is crucial when dealing with a player.

Emotional detachment isn’t something that happens overnight. It requires patience and practice. 

The key is to be mindful of your reactions and gradually learn to control them. Over time, you’ll find yourself less emotionally affected by her actions, which will disrupt her gameplay.

3. Be Unpredictable

Routine might be comfortable, but it’s also predictable. And predictability is a disadvantage when dealing with a girl who is playing you. 

The player thrives on predicting your reactions and actions. Thus, being unpredictable is a valuable tool.

This doesn’t mean you have to turn your life into a whirlwind of chaos. It’s about subtly mixing things up and keeping her guessing. Don’t always be available when she wants to meet. 

Don’t always respond to her messages immediately. These small changes can add an element of unpredictability that makes it harder for her to play her games.

Being unpredictable keeps things interesting. It also keeps you in control of the game. 

When she can’t predict your moves, it disrupts her gameplay, which can give you the upper hand. And who knows, you might find that a little unpredictability makes life more exciting!

4. Value Your Time

Playing a girl who is playing you

Let’s talk about the value of your time. Time is one of your most precious resources, and it’s important to communicate this fact as a high-value man. 

If you’re always available at her beck and call, it sends the message that you don’t have anything better to do, which puts you at a disadvantage. 

Start treating your time as the valuable asset it is. Have other commitments and interests that you prioritize. 

This not only helps maintain your self-esteem but also conveys a message that your time can’t be taken for granted.

The bottom line is, don’t cancel your plans to accommodate hers. Stand your ground. She needs to understand that your time is valuable and that you have other priorities. 

Doing so may result in her treating your time with more respect and thus, disrupting her gameplay.

5. Set Boundaries

By setting boundaries, you’re communicating what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t.

It’s crucial to express these boundaries clearly because it further emphasizes your value. 

But this doesn’t mean you need to be confrontational. Instead, voice your concerns calmly and assertively, and let her know what’s acceptable, and what crosses the line.

These boundaries need to be respected. If she continues to cross them, it might be a sign that you need to reconsider the relationship. 

In a game with a player, maintaining respect for your boundaries can disrupt her games and tilt the scales in your favor.

6. Cultivate Other Relationships

How to play someone who plays you

Putting all your eggs in one basket can leave you vulnerable. 

By focusing all your attention on this one girl, pursuing her, it’s easier for her to manipulate you. Instead, maintain and cultivate other relationships in your life.

Invest time in your relationships with friends and family. These relationships provide a support system and can offer a more balanced perspective. 

They’re also a reminder that one relationship, no matter how important, isn’t the sum total of your life.

By building and maintaining other healthy relationships, you’re signaling to her (and to yourself) that she’s not the center of your universe. 

This disrupts the power dynamics in her game, making it harder for her to manipulate you, and in turn, giving you more control in the relationship.

7. Keep Your Options Open

Keeping your options open might sound like a bold strategy, but it’s an effective one. When you’re stuck on one person, it’s easy to get caught up in their games. 

You may even start to lose sight of other potential relationships.

Be open to meeting new people. This doesn’t necessarily mean you should start dating everyone you meet, but maintaining an openness towards new connections can provide a healthy balance in your life.

In doing so, you’ll demonstrate to her that you’re not singularly fixated on her. This sends a strong message — you are someone desirable who has options, which can disrupt her gameplay significantly. 

Plus, who knows? You might even meet someone who values and respects you for who you are.

8. Patience

Guy playing the player

Reacting hastily or out of frustration can play right into her hands. Remember, she may be looking for an emotional reaction from you.

Instead, take a step back, breathe, and be patient. Don’t let her actions provoke you into making impulsive decisions. 

Responding thoughtfully and deliberately can leave her guessing and disrupt her game.

Moreover, patience allows you to observe her actions and understand her gameplay better. 

And this understanding can give you an upper hand. So, as hard as it may be, practicing patience can turn out to be your trump card.

9. Show Confidence

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, show confidence. Confidence can be a game-changer in any situation. Here’s why: 

People often play games because they think they can get away with it. By projecting confidence, you’re showing her that you can’t be easily manipulated.

This doesn’t mean being arrogant or confrontational. Instead, it’s about believing in yourself and your worth. Know that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and don’t settle for less.

Confidence disrupts her gameplay by showing her that her games won’t work on you. It makes you a hard target and can deter her from playing games. 

So, stand tall, believe in yourself, and let your confidence shine.


1. How can I tell if she’s playing me?

Recognizing if someone is playing you can be tricky, as it largely depends on the consistency of certain behaviors. 

For instance, if she’s frequently hot and cold, elusive, and seems to dismiss your feelings, you might be dealing with a player. 

Such individuals tend to string you along without ever fully committing, making you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster.

However, it’s vital to remember that everyone can have off days and display these behaviors occasionally. It becomes a concern when it’s a consistent pattern. 

If you’re constantly left guessing about your relationship status and her feelings for you, it may be a sign that she’s playing you.

2. Is it wrong to play the player?

Dealing with a situation where you feel like you’re being played can be complex. Some might argue that ‘fighting fire with fire’ by playing the player is fair. 

However, it’s essential to approach this with caution. The intent here is not to resort to manipulation or seek revenge, but rather to protect your emotional well-being and maintain your self-esteem.

Remember, everyone deserves respect and honest communication in their relationships. If you’re having to resort to psychological tactics to gain an upper hand, it may be a sign to reconsider if this relationship is healthy for you. 

In essence, the strategies provided in this article are about understanding the game and making informed decisions, not about becoming manipulative yourself.

3. What if these strategies don’t work?

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to relationships, and that includes dealing with a person who’s playing games with you. 

These strategies can provide a general framework to help you navigate this situation, but they might not always yield the desired results.

If you find that these strategies aren’t working, it might be time to reassess the relationship. You may need to consider whether this relationship is beneficial to you and worth the emotional turmoil. 

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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