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In relationships, everyone hopes to be their best self and make smart choices. 

Smart women, especially, have a way of handling relationships that keeps them happy and strong, both together with their partner and on their own. 

They know what works best for them and stick to it, making sure they always feel good about where they are.

Smart women have learned a lot about love and what to do or not do to keep a relationship healthy. 

They pay attention to their own feelings and needs, communicate well, and make sure they’re treated with respect. 

They also know how important it is to have their own life outside of the relationship, with their own friends, hobbies, and goals.

This article talks about the things smart women make sure to avoid in relationships. 

It’s like a guide to keeping things balanced and making sure they stay true to themselves while being in a loving partnership.

1. Ignore their own needs

Smart women know that taking care of themselves is not selfish; it’s essential. 

Ignoring their own needs, whether it’s for personal space, hobbies, or rest, is something they steer clear of. 

They understand that to be happy in a relationship, you need to be happy with yourself first. 

Self-care and pursuing personal interests make them more balanced individuals, which, in turn, enriches the relationship.

Moreover, they recognize the importance of voicing their needs and desires within the relationship

Keeping silent about what they want or need can lead to resentment and unhappiness. 

Smart women communicate openly with their partners, ensuring that their own needs are not overshadowed by the relationship’s demands. 

2. Ignore red flags

smart woman in a relationship

Whether it’s disrespect, dishonesty, or incompatible values, they recognize that these issues can become serious problems down the line. 

Instead of making excuses for their partner’s behavior, they address concerns early on, seeking clarity and resolution.

Acknowledging red flags early helps prevent heartache and disappointment. 

Smart women know that addressing these issues can lead to a stronger relationship or, if necessary, save them from staying in a situation that isn’t right for them. 

They trust their instincts and take action to ensure their emotional well-being.

3. Beg for love

Smart women understand that love should be given freely and willingly. The idea of begging someone to love or pay attention to them doesn’t fit into their equation. 

They recognize their worth and know that a relationship should be a two-way street, with both partners equally invested. 

Love that needs to be begged for isn’t genuine love—it’s a shadow of what a healthy relationship should be.

Furthermore, these women are aware that true affection and respect cannot be forced or negotiated. 

If they find themselves in a situation where they feel the need to beg for love, they take it as a clear sign that the relationship is not right for them. 

The strength lies in knowing when to walk away from something that is no longer serving them, preserving their dignity and self-respect.

4. Sacrifice personal happiness for the relationship

Compromising their own happiness for the sake of maintaining a relationship is not something you’ll find smart women doing. 

They recognize that a healthy relationship should add to their happiness, not detract from it. 

If they find themselves consistently unhappy or unfulfilled, they’re willing to question whether the relationship is right for them. 

Happiness is not just a solo endeavor; it’s something both partners should strive for together.

Knowing that long-term contentment comes from a mutual effort, smart women seek partnerships where both individuals work towards each other’s happiness. 

They’re aware that sacrificing their own joy for someone else’s is unsustainable and leads to resentment. 

A smart woman looks for a balance, where she can be happy with her partner and as an individual.

5. Lose sight of their independence

Smart women value their independence and know that a healthy relationship does not mean you have to do everything together. 

Clinging too tightly to a partner or relying on them for every little thing can create an unhealthy dynamic. 

Instead, they maintain their own interests, friendships, and goals outside of the relationship. This independence is key to their identity and sense of self-worth.

Having their own life outside of the relationship not only keeps them grounded but also keeps the relationship interesting. 

It provides both partners with experiences and insights to share, enhancing their connection. 

Smart women understand that a truly loving partner will support their independence, not stifle it.

6. Settle for less than they deserve

Settling for less than they deserve is not in the vocabulary of smart women. 

They have a clear understanding of their value and refuse to accept anything that doesn’t meet their standards, especially in relationships. 

These women know that compromise is part of any partnership, but there’s a big difference between making mutual adjustments and lowering their standards to accommodate a partner who doesn’t treat them right.

By holding out for what they truly deserve, they set a standard not just for how they expect to be treated but also for what they are willing to contribute to the relationship

It’s not about entitlement; it’s about recognizing that a healthy, fulfilling relationship is built on mutual respect, love, and understanding, where both partners see and treat each other as equals.

7. Set aside their values for a partner

Smart women stand firm on their core beliefs and values, understanding that compromising these for anyone, including a partner, can lead to dissatisfaction and regret. 

A relationship should be a ground for mutual respect and understanding, not a place where one has to change their fundamental beliefs to fit in. 

When faced with a situation where their values are challenged, these women choose to uphold their integrity over compromising to keep the peace.

Valuing a sense of self and principles, smart women look for partners who respect and share their core values, or at the very least, honor their right to hold different ones. 

They know that true harmony in a relationship comes from this mutual respect, not from one person bending their values to match the other’s. 

This steadfastness ensures relationships are built on genuine compatibility, not concession.

8. Rely on a partner for their happiness

Understanding that happiness is an inside job, smart women never place the responsibility of their happiness solely on their partner’s shoulders. 

While a loving relationship can greatly contribute to one’s joy, they recognize that outsourcing their happiness to someone else is unfair and unrealistic. 

These women invest in their hobbies, friendships, and personal achievements, ensuring a well-rounded sense of fulfillment that isn’t dependent on their relationship status.

Creating a life rich with diverse sources of joy means that smart women bring a full, content heart into their relationships, not an empty one waiting to be filled. 

This approach not only alleviates undue pressure on the relationship but also fosters a healthier, more independent dynamic where both partners are encouraged to find happiness within themselves and share it with each other.

9. Neglect their friendships

For smart women, friendships are treasures that they wouldn’t dream of neglecting, even when in a relationship. 

They understand that a romantic partner cannot and should not fulfill every role in their lives. 

Friends offer support, laughter, and a different perspective that is vital for personal growth and happiness. 

Ignoring these relationships for the sake of a romantic partnership can lead to a loss of identity and isolation.

Maintaining these friendships provides a balanced life and a support network outside of the romantic relationship. 

Smart women cherish their friends and make the effort to nurture these connections, knowing that friendships are just as important for a fulfilling life as a loving partnership. 

They recognize that healthy relationships allow and encourage time spent with friends.

10. Ignore their own ambitions

Smart women never put their ambitions on the back burner for the sake of a relationship. 

They have goals and dreams that are important to them, and they seek partners who support and encourage their aspirations. 

For them, a relationship should be a source of motivation, not a barrier to their success. 

They believe in growing both as individuals and as a couple, understanding that personal achievements contribute to the relationship’s strength and happiness.

These women know that sacrificing their ambitions for a partner leads to resentment and regret. 

They strive for a partnership where both individuals can pursue their dreams, offering each other support along the way. 

A healthy relationship, in their eyes, is one where both partners inspire and uplift each other to reach their full potential.

11. Dismiss their gut feelings

Ignoring their gut feelings is not something smart women do in relationships. 

That instinctive sense that something isn’t right plays a crucial role in their decision-making. 

Whether it’s a niggling doubt about a partner’s sincerity or a feeling that something’s off, they trust their intuition. 

Acting on these feelings often leads to discovering truths that rationalization might have obscured.

Trusting this inner voice allows for honest self-reflection and can guide them in making choices that are in their best interest. 

Smart women understand that their gut feelings are a powerful ally in navigating relationship dynamics. 

By paying attention to these internal signals, they protect themselves from potential harm and ensure that they stay true to what they really want and need from a partnership.

12. Ignore her personal growth

woman reading

For smart women, personal growth is non-negotiable, even in a relationship. Stagnation is not an option; they seek to learn, evolve, and become better versions of themselves. 

A relationship that hinders personal development or feels like it’s holding them back is a clear mismatch. 

These women seek partners who not only support but also inspire their growth.

Embracing change and challenges, smart women view relationships as opportunities for mutual growth. 

They understand that a thriving relationship involves two individuals who grow together, not apart. 

Valuing their evolution, they ensure their relationship is a space where both partners can explore their potentials and support each other’s journeys toward becoming their best selves.

13. Lose themselves in the relationship

Maintaining a sense of individuality is crucial, and smart women make sure they never lose themselves in a relationship. 

They continue to pursue their own interests, maintain their personal goals, and spend time with friends and family, even while deeply in love. 

Recognizing that a healthy relationship consists of two whole individuals, they resist the urge to merge their identity completely with their partner’s.

This commitment to individuality ensures that the relationship remains dynamic and growth-oriented. 

Smart women know that bringing their full, authentic selves to the relationship not only enriches their own lives but also enhances the partnership. 

By preserving their individuality, they keep the relationship vibrant and resilient.

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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