Have you ever been hanging out with someone and started to wonder, “What exactly are we?”
You’re not alone!
A lot of people find themselves in this spot, where they really like someone but aren’t sure if the feeling is mutual or what the other person thinks about the relationship.
It can be a bit confusing and even a little scary to bring up “the talk” about where things are going.
But don’t worry! Having the “What are we?” conversation is a big step in any relationship, and it’s totally normal to feel nervous about it.
This article is going to give you some tips on how to have that talk. We’ll cover the best ways to bring it up, how to express your feelings clearly, and what to do if you both don’t want the same thing.
Tips for Having The ‘What Are We?’ Talk Over Text
1. Reflect on Your Feelings
Before having ‘The Talk,’ spend some time reflecting on your feelings and what you want from the relationship.
Knowing your own mind helps you communicate more clearly and confidently.
Ask yourself what you’re hoping to achieve from the conversation and what your ideal relationship looks like.
This self-reflection is not just about getting your thoughts in order. It’s also about ensuring that you’re seeking a discussion with your partner for the right reasons.
Understanding your own emotions and desires helps you enter the conversation with a clear perspective and a genuine interest in mutual happiness.
2. Avoid Ultimatums
Ultimatums can feel like threats, which isn’t the best way to foster a loving and understanding relationship.
Instead of saying, “If we’re not serious, then I can’t do this anymore,” try to keep the conversation open and free from pressure.
This encourages a more honest and open exchange about where you both stand and what you both want.
It’s crucial to express your feelings and desires without making your partner feel like they have to decide on the spot.
Give them time to think and reflect if they need it. This shows that you respect their autonomy and are willing to work together to find a solution that works for both of you.
3. Choose the Right Moment
Finding the perfect time to talk is crucial.
You don’t want to spring it on your partner when they’re stressed about work or right in the middle of their favorite TV show.
Look for a quiet, comfortable moment when you’re both relaxed and not distracted by other things. This ensures that you both have the mental space to listen and share openly.
It’s also wise to make sure you’re both in a good mood. If one of you had a terrible day, it might not be the best time for deep discussions.
A calm and positive environment can make a huge difference in how the conversation unfolds, leading to a more honest and understanding dialogue.
4. Be Direct But Kind
When it’s time to ask, “What are we?” be as clear as you can about what you’re looking for without putting too much pressure on your partner.
It’s important to communicate your feelings honestly but in a way that’s considerate of theirs.
Saying something like, “I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together and I’m curious about how you see our relationship,” can open up the conversation in a non-threatening way.
Avoid beating around the bush.
While it might be tempting to drop hints or hope they’ll bring it up first, being direct is the best approach. This doesn’t mean you have to be harsh or demanding.
Expressing your thoughts and questions with kindness shows that you respect both your partner’s feelings and your own.
5. Manage Your Expectations
You might have certain hopes or desired outcomes, but it’s important to be prepared for any response.
Keeping an open mind helps prevent feeling blindsided if the conversation doesn’t go exactly as you imagined.
This also means accepting that your partner’s feelings might be in a different place than yours.
They might need more time to think about the relationship or have different views on what they want from it.
Being prepared for various outcomes can make the conversation less stressful for both of you.
6. Follow Up
After you’ve talked, it’s important to follow up. This doesn’t mean pressing for immediate answers if your partner asks for time to think.
Instead, check in with them in a few days to see if they’ve had any new thoughts or feelings about the conversation.
This shows that you’re still interested in understanding where they stand and that you’re committed to moving forward together.
A follow-up is also a good opportunity to express any new thoughts or feelings you might have.
Relationships are dynamic, and your feelings or desires might evolve even after a single conversation.
Keeping the lines of communication open is key to a healthy and happy relationship.
Sample Ways to Ask “What are We?” Over Text
1. “Hey, I’ve been thinking a lot about us lately and enjoying our time together. 😊 Just curious, how do you see our relationship?”
2. “So, I find myself smiling just thinking about you. It got me wondering, what do we mean to each other?”
3. “I love the vibe we have going! 💫 Out of curiosity, how would you describe ‘us’ to someone?”
4. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together, and I’m not complaining! Just wanted to ask, what are your thoughts on what we are to each other?”
5. “Quick question because it’s been on my mind… What do you think we are doing here? Are we just hanging out, or is it something more?”
6. “Lately, I’ve found myself thinking more and more about us and what we share. It’s been wonderful getting to know you and experiencing everything we have together. I’m reaching a point where I’m curious about how you view our connection and what you think the future might hold for us. Are we looking at something casual, or do you see potential for something more committed?”
7. “Hey! I’ve really liked how things have been going between us. 😄 I was wondering, do you see this as something casual or more serious?”
8. “I’ve been doing some thinking, and I feel like we’ve got a good thing going. How do you see us?”
9. “Just out of curiosity, where do you see our relationship going? I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together.”
10. “Hope you’re having a great day! I wanted to ask, in your eyes, are we just friends, or is there something more here?”
11. “Hey, I value honesty and just wanted to check-in. How do you define what we have between us?”
12. “I hope this message finds you well. As I’ve been reflecting on the time we’ve spent together, I’ve grown to value our connection deeply. It’s not every day you find someone with whom you click on so many levels. With that said, I’ve been wondering about your perspective on us. How do you see our relationship? Is this the beginning of a deeper commitment, or are we enjoying the moment without looking too far ahead?”
13. I’ve been feeling really happy with where things are going with us. 😌 Do you consider us to be exclusive, or are we keeping it casual?”
14. “So, I’ve been wondering and would love your honest thoughts – what are we to each other? No pressure, just want to understand where we stand. 💭”
15. “Hey! I’ve been thinking about how much fun we’ve been having together. 😃 Just curious, do you see us as heading towards something serious?”
16. “I’ve enjoyed every moment with you. 🌟 Makes me wonder, do you think there’s a label that fits us right now?”
17. “Good evening! I’ve been doing some thinking, and I felt it was important to reach out and discuss something that’s been on my mind. We’ve shared some incredible moments, and I find myself looking forward to every new adventure with you. I’m curious to hear your thoughts on what we’re building together. Do you see us as defining our relationship in more concrete terms, or are we still exploring what this is and where it could go?”
18. “Just lying here thinking about us and couldn’t help but wonder, what do you feel we are? Friends, more than friends?”
19. “I was chatting with a friend about us and got stumped trying to define what we have. How would you describe us to someone else?
20. “Hi! I’ve been feeling incredibly happy with how things have been going between us. It’s rare to find someone who fits so well with your vibe. This has led me to think about what we are to each other and where we might be headed. I’d love to get your thoughts on our connection. Do you feel like we’re moving toward something more defined, or are we just enjoying the ride as it comes?”
21. “Our connection feels special to me. 🌈 Do you see us as just a fun time, or is it becoming something more meaningful?”
22. “Every day with you is a new adventure, and I love that. 🚀 Makes me curious, though, do you see this as a long-term thing?”
24. “We’ve been spending a lot of great times together, and I find myself thinking about you a lot. Do you think we’re more than just casual?”
25. “Hey, just wanted to check in on us. 😊 Are we keeping things open, or are we leaning towards being exclusive?”
26. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about us lately. Our time together has been filled with so many memorable moments, and it’s made me wonder about the nature of our relationship. I’m genuinely interested in hearing your thoughts on where we stand. Are we creating something that’s leading towards a more serious commitment, or are we in a place where we’re just enjoying each other’s company in the moment?”
27. “As I sit here reflecting on the incredible times we’ve shared, I can’t help but feel grateful for having met you. Our connection feels different from anything I’ve experienced before, which brings me to the reason for this message. I’m curious about how you view our relationship and what you envision for our future. Is this the start of something more serious, or are we enjoying a beautiful connection without any labels?”
28. “I adore how we click together. 💕 In your eyes, are we dating, or is it too soon to put a label on it?”
29. “Lately, I’ve been feeling like there’s something really special between us. Do you feel the same way? What are we to each other?”
30. “I’ve been getting questions from friends about us and honestly wasn’t sure what to say. 😅 How do you see our situation?”
31. “Our chemistry is undeniable, and I’m really into you. 🙈 Just wondering, do you consider us to be in a relationship?”
32. “Hey! Just wanted to say how much I appreciate the moments we’ve shared and the connection we’ve built. It’s led me to think about where we’re headed and how we both view our relationship. I’m keen to hear your thoughts on this. Do you see us moving towards a more clearly defined relationship, or are we keeping things casual and seeing where things go?”
33. This might be a bit forward, but I really need to know where we stand. Are we exploring this as something serious or just keeping it light?”
34. “I feel like what we have is amazing and could be something more. Do you think there’s a future for us together?”
35. “I’ve been thinking about us a lot lately. How do you see what we’re doing here? Is it heading somewhere?”
36. “Hey, I’ve enjoyed our time together. Makes me wonder, what do you think about us and where we stand?”
37. “I’m curious about your thoughts on us. Do you see this as something casual or maybe something more?”
38. “Our time together has been incredible. Do you think we’re on the path to becoming something more serious?”
39. “I’ve been meaning to ask, how do you view our relationship? Are we just hanging out, or is it something deeper?”
40. “I hope this message finds you well. As I’ve been reflecting on our time together, I’ve felt more connected to you with each passing day. This has prompted me to think deeply about our relationship and its direction. I’m reaching out because I’m eager to understand your perspective on what we have. Are we building towards a committed relationship, or are we maintaining a casual connection that enjoys the present without looking too far into the future?”
41. “I find myself happy with where things are going with us. What’s your take on what we have?”
42. “I value what we have and was wondering, do you see us as defining this relationship anytime soon?”
43. “Just a thought, but where do you see us going? I’m trying to understand our direction.”
44. “Our connection feels special to me. Do you think we’re moving toward a committed relationship?”
45. “I’ve been getting the feeling that we might be something more. How do you feel about us and our connection?”
46. “Been doing some thinking about us. In your eyes, are we evolving into something more exclusive?”
47. “Good morning! I’ve been thinking about us a lot recently. Our connection and the way we vibe together is something I’ve come to cherish. It’s made me curious about how you view our relationship and where you see it going. Do you think we’re on the path to something more defined, or are we just enjoying the flow of things as they are?”
48. “Hey, I’ve been reflecting on our time together and was curious, do you feel like we’re more than just friends?”
49. “Our vibe together is amazing. Do you see us taking things to the next level anytime soon?”
50. “I’m really enjoying the journey we’re on. Do you think there’s a label that fits us right now?”
51. “I feel like we’ve got something good going. How do you see our relationship developing?”
52. “Hey there! I’ve been reflecting on the amazing journey we’ve embarked on together. From our deep conversations to the fun times we’ve shared, everything seems to be pointing towards something truly special. I’m reaching out because I’m eager to understand your feelings about us. In your eyes, are we moving toward a relationship with a clear definition, or are we keeping things open and fluid for now?”
53. “I hope you’re having a great day. As for me, I’ve been spending some time thinking about us and the unique connection we share. It’s not often that you meet someone who resonates with you on such a deep level. With all the wonderful moments we’ve experienced, I find myself curious about your perspective on our relationship. Do you think we’re heading in a direction that could define us more clearly, or are we enjoying the journey without any specific destination in mind?”
How do you start a “what are we” conversation?
Starting a “what are we” conversation can feel a bit scary, but it’s all about being honest and open.
Pick a good time when both of you are relaxed and not busy with other things.
Then, just be straightforward and say something like, “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you and I’m wondering what you think about us and where this is going.”
It’s important to speak from your heart and let the other person know you’re interested in understanding how they see the relationship.
How do you clarify a relationship status?
To clarify a relationship status, you need to have a direct conversation with the other person.
You can say, “I’ve been thinking about our connection and I’d like to know how you see our relationship. Are we just hanging out, or is this something more serious for you?”
You just need to ask clear questions and be ready to listen to their answers. Remember, it’s okay to ask for what you want to know.
What if they don’t want the same thing as me?
If they don’t want the same thing as you, it’s important to stay calm and listen to their perspective.
Everyone has their feelings and it’s okay to not be on the same page right away.
You can say, “I appreciate your honesty, and I’m glad we talked about this. Let’s think about what this means for us going forward.”
It’s all about respecting each other’s feelings and deciding what’s best for both of you, even if it means making tough decisions.
How do you handle feeling nervous about “the talk”?
Feeling nervous about “the talk” is normal. A good way to handle the nerves is to prepare yourself a bit before the conversation.
Think about what you want to say and how you feel about the relationship. Remember, it’s just a conversation and not a test.
Take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that it’s okay to express your feelings and questions. The goal is to be open and honest, and that’s always a good thing.