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When you are attracted to someone, you become super conscious of everything they do: their acts, smiles, attitude toward you, everything. 

But what if you fall in love with someone who is not straightforward with their feelings for you?

Think about it this way: 

There’s a special girl you like. You think she feels the same way about you, but the only problem you have is that she blows hot and cold. At this moment, she’s all-loving and affectionate. The next moment, she’s cold and blowing you off. It leaves you confused and wondering: Does she feel anything for me? Is she playing me? 

There are so many reasons why women will fight their feelings for you. It could be that she is in a relationship, or she doesn’t want you to see her as desperate. 

According to research, society has a hand in stifling the sexuality and brazenness of women to the point where it becomes taboo to speak about their feelings or sexuality towards the opposite sex openly. 

However, as a guy in love, you want to know for sure if the feelings are there or if she’s not just interested. So what are the signs? 

1. The body doesn’t lie 

Guys, the first thing you should watch out for is body language. While the mouth can say, “I feel nothing for you,” the body will tell a different story. 

When you like someone, your body acts before your mind can catch up. According to science, this can be explained by the biological fact that the body produces several hormones when we are falling in love. 

One of these hormones is dopamine. This hormone is triggered when we meet or think about someone we like. It spurs our excitement, which makes us very eager to be in their presence. 

Dopamine is not the only chemical in the mix; there’s also oxytocin. A surge in these hormones increases attachment to the person you like. 

Now that you know what goes in the body when in love, you use this knowledge to analyze her feelings for you. Does she like hanging out with you? Does she trust you? Does she touch you when she laughs? A yes to any or all of these indicates that she likes you. 

Interesting: 7 Signs She Wants You To Make A Move On Her

2. She’ll show signs of internal conflict 

When a lady is fighting her feelings for you, ghosting is one way she does it.  Why? 

Time away from you is her attempt to balance her emotions and keep them in check. But you want to be careful about this because it might mean she doesn’t want to speak to you at the moment. 

Whenever you notice she has gone on her ghosting mode again, give her as much time as she wants. When she comes back, note the following: 

  • Is she still showing signs of interest in you? 
  • Does she respond to your message in time? 
  • Does she accept hangout invitations? 

If the answer is yes, it is simply just one of the signs she’s fighting her feelings for you. You will also get hot and cold treatments. She acts clingy and affectionate one day and completely aloof the next. If you notice these, it’s most likely a defense mechanism to push her feelings for you aside.

3. She is overly self-conscious around you 

If a lady likes you, she will make a conscious effort to look good for you. 

One sure sign she’s fighting her feelings for you is when she says she doesn’t care but always takes extra effort to look great. As women, we know that men are very visual and easily moved by things they see, which is why we look good to impress the man we like. 

Take note of her lips (if it’s glossed), her skin (if it’s perfectly moisturized), her hair (if it’s nicely done), and even fashion accessories. If she is dressed a little extra whenever she’s coming to see you, that’s a sign right there. 

Another point to note is that this goes way beyond looking physically attractive. You also want to note how she acts and talks around you. Does she act intelligently?  Is she suddenly more composed? 

If she does all this, she is concerned about your impression of her. It should tell you she likes you, even though she doesn’t want to admit it to you. 

Also read: 9 Signs She’s Pretending to Love You

4. She remembers the little details about you

In 2015, a team of scientists explored the effect of love and attraction on the brain. They found that when you’re in the company of someone you love or like, your brain gets a dopamine boost in certain regions, which helps preserve and store long-term memories. 

They also performed an experiment where the dopamine compound was injected into a group of people. It helped them remember details better than those who were not injected. 

In simpler terms, love gets you drunk on dopamine, and dopamine works for memory improvement. 

How does this apply to helping you figure out if the girl you like is fighting her feelings for you? Well, here it is: 

Imagine a girl blowing you off and claiming she doesn’t feel anything for you, but she remembers that you stubbed your toe on the couch two years ago? That’s an interesting detail to remember because it is seemingly inconsequential to you. But to her, it’s not because she sincerely cares. 

5. Pay attention to her eyes 

The eyes are windows to the soul. No matter how much a person wants to pretend they don’t have feelings for you, the eyes will always show exactly how they feel. 

If you are into gambling games, you know that at a poker table, the players are almost always wearing glasses. 

It is because they know the eyes are a valid giveaway to what they’re feeling at any moment. A simple blink can convey excitement or distress, which your opponent can bank on. As a guy who is wary about whether a girl is fighting her feelings for you, you can use this to your advantage. 

If she enjoys holding your gaze with a smile for more than a few seconds, it indicates her attraction to you. Combine this with the rapid fluttering of her eyelashes, subtly exposing her neck, playing with her hair, and you have a hundred percent evidence. 

6. She pretends not to be jealous 

You might have heard this popular Zoe Weil quote, “What we love, we protect.” 

According to science, jealousy arises when you feel like there’s a threat to your relationship or partner. It is a natural phenomenon that can only arise when we feel some attraction or love towards another person. 

Evolution terms it “mate guarding” because you want the person all to yourself, without interference from rivals or third parties. 

Note how she acts when you’re hanging out with another female. Does she get angry? Does she get critical of the other lady? 

Even if she is succeeding at fighting her feelings for you, she would not be able to hide her jealousy. 

Related: 9 Subtle Signs She Wants to Be More Than Just Friends

7. She likes to hang out with you  

In this time and age where everyone is running a rat race in their business and family, it is always hard to find someone who would be there for you. No questions asked.  

A girl who likes you will always show up whenever you are down. It is one of the most valid signs that she’s fighting her feelings for you. 

Imagine this scenario: 

You call her up, telling her you need someone to talk to due to some crisis you’re facing urgently. She tells you she’s a little busy and won’t be able to make it to you. However, in a few minutes, there’s a knock on your door, and there she is. Oh, she also brought wine. 

8. She gets nervous around you

When you’re at a job interview, sometimes your palms get sweaty, and your heart starts to race. It’s because you’re nervous. You want to make a good impression in the hopes that you’ll be picked for the role. 

Well, that scenario is familiar with what happens when we’re in the company of someone we like. We become conscious of everything, and it causes us to feel nervous. 

This feeling would also be compounded by norepinephrine; a chemical released when someone we desire crosses our path. This norepinephrine neurotransmitter is released in response to our excitement. If a girl is suddenly acting nervous and jittery around you, this may be why. 

9. Pay attention to her friends and family 

Does her family or friends coincidentally mention things you told her in private? If they do, it is one sure sign that she talks about you to those that are close to her. 

For instance, you told her you accidentally hit your hand on the bedpost in the morning. Then, surprisingly, the next time you meet her sister or BFF, she’s like, “How’s your hand? Did you use something to relieve the pain?”

Boom! She has been talking about you! 

Also, pay attention to how her friends act and tease her when you’re around. It’s probably because they know she likes you, even if she’s trying to hide it.


Women might be very good at hiding their feelings for you, but these are some of the best signs that these feelings are present. When you notice some or all of these things, it’s up to you to discover why she’s hiding her feelings. 

Be careful so you can decipher whether or not she is truly interested in you. If she isn’t, have the grace to move on. You will surely find someone to reciprocate your feelings very soon.

Related: 10 Sure Sign A Guy Is Fighting His Feelings For You

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Adetayo Toluwalope

Adetayo is an author and a prolific writer. Her writing experience broadly encompasses fiction and articles regarding dating and lifestyle. She's passionate about helping people become better versions of themselves through storytelling.

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