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The idea that someone may be obsessed with you can be overwhelming, and you may find yourself constantly questioning if your intuition is right. It’s a haunting feeling, one that can leave you feeling uneasy, paranoid, and even scared. 

Obsession is an often misunderstood emotion that can manifest in many different ways. You may be flattered at first, but as the behavior escalates, you may begin to feel uncomfortable, violated, and trapped.

The difference between a high level of interest and obsession is the level of intensity and control involved.

A healthy level of interest allows for mutual respect and autonomy, while obsession can be harmful and disruptive to both parties involved.

So how do you know if someone is truly obsessed with you? It’s not always as obvious as you may think.

It can start with small gestures, like constantly checking in on you, or liking all of your social media posts. But as time goes on, the behavior may become more intense and even dangerous.

That’s why we’ll be looking at 20 various signs that someone may be obsessed with you.

We’ll dive deep into the different ways obsession can manifest, and provide you with practical advice on how to handle the situation. 

Whether you’re dealing with a crush who just won’t take no for an answer or a stalker who is making your life a living hell, this article will give you the tools you need to protect yourself.

First, the signs of obsession.

1. Rumination

This involves constantly thinking about the person. When someone is obsessed with another person, they often find themselves obsessively replaying past interactions and conversations in their head, analyzing every word and gesture. 

They may also engage in what-if scenarios, constantly imagining different outcomes to past interactions. This obsessive thinking can be distressing and interfere with daily life. 

2. Estrangement anxiety

signs of obsession

Another sign of obsession is estrangement anxiety, which is a fear of losing the person. People who are obsessed with someone may become anxious at the thought of the person leaving or rejecting them. 

This may lead to engaging in behaviors they think can prevent this from happening, such as constantly checking in with the person, becoming overly clingy, or monitoring their social media activity. 

This sometimes happens if someone is obsessed with a romantic partner, they may become anxious and upset when the partner spends time with friends or family without them.

[Related: 7 Psychological Tricks to Make A Girl Obsessed With You]

3. Social media stalking

Stalking is a common sign of obsession that is made easier in today’s digital age. An obsessed person may spend excessive amounts of time checking their object’s social media profiles, looking for any sign of what the person is doing or who they are interacting with. 

They may also engage in more intrusive behaviors, such as sending multiple messages or comments on social media platforms or attempting to hack into the person’s accounts. 

For example, if someone is obsessed with a celebrity, they may spend hours scrolling through their social media feeds, looking for any information they can find about their personal life.

4. Fantasizing

Obsession may make people create elaborate scenarios in their minds about what their life would be like with the person they’re obsessed with, including romantic and sexual fantasies. 

They can be so caught up in their fantasies that they neglect their real-life relationships and responsibilities.

This can lead to feelings of disappointment and dissatisfaction when the fantasies do not come to fruition. 

In a situation where someone is obsessed with a coworker, they may spend hours daydreaming about a romantic relationship with the coworker, even though the coworker has shown no interest in them.

5. Idealization

an obsessed woman

This is when they put the person on a pedestal and see them as perfect. They overlook any flaws or negative traits in the person and only focus on their positive qualities. 

For instance, if someone is obsessed with a romantic partner, they may become infatuated with the partner’s physical appearance or personality traits, but ignore any red flags or warning signs that the relationship may not be healthy.

[Interesting: 13 Interesting Psychological Facts About Crushes]

6. Jealousy

Jealousy can be a sign of obsession when someone becomes excessively possessive or controlling in a relationship.

Obsession is an intense fixation or preoccupation with someone or something, and jealousy can stem from this fixation.

When someone is obsessed with their partner, they may feel a strong need to control them and keep them close.

They may become jealous when their partner interacts with others or spends time away from them, as they fear losing control or losing their partner’s affection.

This kind of jealousy can be unhealthy and damaging to both individuals in the relationship. It can lead to controlling behavior, emotional manipulation, and even physical abuse in extreme cases.

7. Obsessive communication

Obsessive communication is when they constantly seek contact with the person they’re obsessed with, often to the point of overwhelming them. 

They tend to send multiple messages, emails, or phone calls per day. And when the person does not respond or expresses a desire for space, they start having feelings of annoyance, frustration, and intrusion for the person receiving the communication. 

8. Possessiveness

Possessiveness is kind of similar to jealousy. It involves feeling ownership or entitlement over the person. People who are obsessed with someone may become possessive and controlling, attempting to limit the person’s interactions with others or dictate their behavior. 

[Also read: How to Make Him Obsessed With You (10 Psychological Tricks)

9. Validation seeking

Seeking validation is one of the signs someone is obsessed with you. An obsessed person may seek validation from the victim because they have an intense emotional attachment to them, and they feel that their self-worth is tied to the other person’s approval or acceptance. 

They believe that the victims are the only source of happiness, love, or fulfillment in their life. This is because their thoughts and actions revolve around the victim, and they cannot seem to move on or let go of the relationship. 

They may become preoccupied with the victim’s opinions, feelings, and reactions and constantly seek their attention or approval. 

This behavior can be problematic because it can lead to a power imbalance in the relationship, where the victim may feel pressured or obligated to provide validation or support to the obsessed person. 

The obsessed person may become emotionally dependent on the victim and may not be able to function without their presence or validation.

10. Boundary disregarding

someone obsessed

The thing about obsession is that it can be all-consuming, leading to an inability to see beyond one’s desires.

In the context of a relationship, this can manifest as a disregard for the other person’s boundaries, desires, or requests for space. 

The obsessed person may feel that they have a right to contact the victim or pursue the relationship, even if the victim has clearly expressed a desire for no contact or distance. 

This is because they are more focused on their desires than on the well-being and autonomy of the other person.

It can be a red flag for unhealthy and potentially dangerous behavior, especially if the obsessed person becomes more aggressive or persistent in their pursuit of the victim.

11. Clinging

Clingy behavior is often a manifestation of an intense desire for proximity and attention.

When someone is obsessed with another person, they may feel a sense of insecurity and fear of losing them.

They may also feel a lack of control over their own emotions and behavior, leading them to rely heavily on the victim for emotional validation and support.

This kind of clingy behavior is a sign of obsession because it demonstrates a lack of respect for the victim’s boundaries and autonomy.

The obsessed person may become possessive and controlling, trying to monopolize the victim’s time and attention.

12. Loss of self

If someone becomes obsessed with a romantic partner, they may constantly put their partner’s needs and desires above their own, even if it means sacrificing their well-being.

This often leads to feelings of resentment, frustration, and even self-hatred if the person feels that they are not living up to their standards.

Also, an obsession can be an underlying sign of psychological issues such as anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. 

These issues can cause a person to seek validation from external sources, rather than finding fulfillment from within themselves causing an unhealthy dependence on others or external circumstances for happiness.

The different stages of obsession

stages of obsession

Obsession can be a complex psychological phenomenon that can occur in different stages. And not all obsessions progress through these stages listed below in a linear fashion, some individuals may remain in one stage for an extended period.

Here are some of the common stages of obsession:

Early Attraction: 

This is the first stage of obsession when an individual is initially attracted to someone or something. At this stage, they may feel drawn to the person or object, and they may start to notice and pay more attention to them.

[Interesting: 18 Signs a Female Coworker Likes You But is Hiding it]

Focused Attention: 

In this stage, the individual’s attraction and interest become more focused and intense. They may begin to think about the person or object more frequently and in greater detail, and they may spend more time seeking out information or opportunities to be near them.

Intense Emotions: 

At this stage, the individual’s feelings of attraction and interest become even more intense, and they may experience strong emotions such as joy, euphoria, or excitement when thinking about or being near the person or object of obsession.

Obsessive Thoughts and Behaviors: 

Here the individual’s thoughts and behaviors become more compulsive and repetitive. They may begin to obsessively think about the person or object, replaying interactions or scenarios in their mind or engaging in repetitive behaviors such as checking their social media accounts.

Loss of Control: 

At this stage, the individual’s obsession may begin to interfere with their daily life and relationships. They may struggle to focus on other things or become isolated from others, and they may experience negative emotions such as anxiety, jealousy, or despair when they are unable to be near the person or object of obsession.


If left unchecked, obsession can escalate to more extreme and dangerous behaviors, such as stalking, harassment, or even violence. At this stage, professional intervention and support are essential to address the underlying psychological issues and ensure the safety of both the individual and others.

What can I do if I sense someone is obsessed with me?

When you feel that someone is obsessed with you, you may make some mistakes like thinking you can handle the problem yourself thereby ignoring the behavior or engaging in negative interaction. This can unintentionally escalate the situation and put you in more harm.

But instead, it’s important to take action to protect yourself and ensure your safety. Here are some steps you can take:

1. Set Clear Boundaries: 

Make it clear to the person that their behavior is not acceptable and that you do not want to have any contact with them. Be firm, but also try to be compassionate and understanding. Let them know that you are concerned about their well-being but that their behavior is causing you distress.

2. Avoid Contact: 

Avoid any unnecessary contact with the person, including in-person meetings, phone calls, or social media interactions. If you must interact with them, try to do so in a public place or with a trusted friend or family member present.

3. Document Incidents: 

Keep a record of any incidents that occur, including emails, messages, or other forms of communication. This can be useful if you need to seek legal or professional help later on.

4. Seek Support: 

Reach out to a trusted friend or family member for support, and consider seeking professional help if the situation becomes more serious. You may also want to consider contacting a support organization or legal authorities for help and advice.

Dealing with someone obsessed with you can be a difficult and potentially dangerous situation. Taking these steps can help you navigate the situation more safely and effectively.

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Anita Oge

Meet Anita, a relationship writer with a passion for helping people navigate the complexities of love and dating. With a background in information science, she has a wealth of knowledge and insight to share. Her writing is sure to leave you feeling empowered and inspired.

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