Sometimes it’s tricky to tell if someone really likes you or if they’re just pretending. It’s important to know the difference because you want your friendships and relationships to be genuine.
Here are ten signs that might help you figure out if someone is only pretending to like you.
Paying attention to how people act and what they say can give you clues about their true feelings.
For example, if someone never asks about your day or doesn’t seem interested in what you have to say, they might not really care as much as it seems.
Also, if you’re always the one starting conversations or making plans, that could be another hint.
Let’s look at these signs so you can be more aware of who genuinely enjoys your company and who might just be going through the motions.
Knowing these signs can help you spend your time with people who truly value and appreciate you.
1. They Don’t Share Much About Themselves
When someone really likes you, they usually want to share details about their life and hear about yours.
If a person doesn’t share much about themselves, it could be a sign they’re just pretending to like you.
They might answer questions about themselves, but their responses seem vague or they quickly change the subject.
You may also notice that conversations with them feel a bit one-sided. You’re doing all the talking, and they’re just nodding along without adding much.
When people are genuinely interested in you, they contribute to the conversation by sharing stories or opinions, which doesn’t happen much if they’re not truly engaged.
Moreover, a lack of personal disclosure can be their way of keeping a distance.
By not sharing much, they avoid forming a deeper connection, which is often more comfortable for someone who isn’t really interested in building a genuine relationship.
[Interesting: 8 Concrete Signs Of a Fake Person]
2. Their Body Language Is Off
Body language can tell you a lot about how someone feels.
If someone’s words say they like you, but their body language sends a different message, they might not be as into you as they claim.
For instance, they might avoid eye contact, have their arms crossed, or position their body away from you when you’re together.
You might also notice inconsistencies in their smiles. A genuine smile lights up someone’s eyes and makes their whole face brighten.
If their smiles don’t reach their eyes, it might just be politeness rather than genuine pleasure.
Furthermore, truly interested people will often mirror your body language without even thinking about it.
If you lean forward, they lean forward; if you laugh, they laugh. Lack of mirroring can suggest a disconnect in how they feel about the interaction compared to you.
3. They’re Inconsistent
Inconsistency is a major clue that someone may be pretending to like you.
Maybe they act super friendly and interested one day, and then distant or disinterested the next.
This hot-and-cold behavior can be confusing and is often a sign that their feelings aren’t genuine.
You might also pick up on inconsistencies in what they say. Perhaps they tell you one thing about themselves and later say something that contradicts it.
This can happen because they’re not truly invested in what they’re telling you, so they forget the details they’ve shared.
Their level of attention can vary. They might text you a lot for a few days, then go quiet for a week.
Genuine liking usually leads to fairly consistent patterns of behavior because the person wants to continue building a connection with you.
If you feel like you’re always guessing about where you stand with them, it’s worth considering that their interest might not be as real as it seems.
4. They Only Reach Out When They Need Something
A person who is pretending to like you might only get in touch when they need a favor or want something from you.
You’ll notice that their calls or texts often come with a request. Maybe they need help with homework, a ride somewhere, or they want to borrow something.
When the conversation isn’t about their needs, they seem less interested or even distant.
You might also find that they are super friendly when they first contact you, but once their need is met, they stop engaging.
This pattern shows they value the benefits of knowing you more than your actual friendship or company.
Keep in mind how often they initiate contact without needing anything at all.
True friends reach out just to see how you’re doing or to make plans to hang out, not just because they want something from you.
[Read: When A Guy Friend Suddenly Goes Cold On You: This Is What It Means]
5. Compliments Feel Shallow or Are About Superficial Things
When someone genuinely likes you, their compliments feel sincere and are often about your personality or achievements.
On the other hand, if someone is pretending, their compliments might not only be infrequent but also feel shallow or focused only on superficial things like your appearance or what you can offer them.
You might notice that their compliments are generic or seem rehearsed, almost as if they’re saying what they think you want to hear.
This can make their words feel insincere and leave you feeling like they don’t really see the real you.
Furthermore, watch for how they compliment others in your presence.
Do their words seem more genuine when directed at someone else? This comparison might help you gauge whether their flattery towards you is just a facade.
6. They Don’t Introduce You to Their Friends or Family
Someone who truly likes you will be eager to show you off to their friends and family.
If you find that you’ve never met any important people in their life, it could be a sign that they’re not as invested in the relationship as they might say.
They might keep making excuses for why you haven’t been introduced, like it’s not the right time or the opportunity hasn’t come up.
Not being part of their wider social circle can also mean that they want to keep their relationship with you separate from the rest of their life.
This detachment can be a strategy to prevent deeper emotional connections.
Additionally, notice how they talk about their friends and family around you. Are they open about their relationships with others, or do they keep details vague?
When someone likes you, they’re usually happy to share stories and details about their life and the people in it.
7. They Never Make Long-Term Plans
If someone is pretending to like you, they often avoid making any long-term plans with you.
You might suggest going to a concert a few months away or planning a trip, and they seem hesitant or non-committal.
Their reluctance to plan for the future can indicate they’re not thinking about being in your life long-term.
You may also notice they are vague when talking about the future.
Instead of saying, “Let’s do this next summer,” they might say, “Maybe someday.” This kind of non-specific language keeps things open-ended and non-committal.
Their behavior in planning even short-term activities can be telling.
If they’re often flaky or cancel plans at the last minute, it reflects a lack of respect and commitment to the relationship.
People who truly care about you will make the effort to plan and stick to their plans with you.
8. They Agree with Everything You Say
When someone just agrees with everything you say, it might seem nice at first, but it can actually be a sign they’re not really into you.
True connections involve sharing ideas and sometimes even friendly debates. If they never disagree or have their own opinions, it shows they might not be genuinely engaging with you.
Notice how they react when you discuss topics that people usually have different opinions about.
Do they just nod along without much to say, or do they contribute their own thoughts? Someone who’s pretending might avoid disagreements to keep things smooth on the surface.
Also, think about whether their constant agreement makes conversations feel boring or shallow.
Real relationships grow from exchanges where both people feel free to express themselves fully, not just mirror back what the other person says.
9. They Don’t Ask Personal Questions
Someone who really likes you will want to know more about you—your hobbies, your day, your life goals.
However, if you find that the person hardly ever asks about your personal life, it could be a red flag. They might keep the conversation focused on casual or impersonal topics.
You can also tell a lot by the quality of questions they ask. Are they deep and thoughtful, or do they just skim the surface?
Genuine interest is usually accompanied by curiosity about who you are beneath the surface.
Furthermore, watch how they respond when you share personal details without being asked.
Do they show genuine interest or quickly change the subject? This reaction can reveal a lot about their true feelings toward you.
10. They Rarely Contact You First
If you’re always the one who initiates contact, that might be a sign they aren’t as into you as they say.
Someone who truly cares will reach out regularly because they want to talk to you. They don’t wait around to see if you’ll call or text first.
Think about how often they reach out to you first compared to how often you contact them.
A big imbalance here can show their lack of genuine interest.
Also, consider the nature of your conversations when they do initiate. Are they meaningful, or do they seem like they’re just checking in because they feel they have to?
Genuine connections are marked by both parties eagerly initiating contact and engaging in meaningful exchanges.