Have you ever felt like you’re putting way more into a relationship than you’re getting out of it?
Sometimes, it’s hard to tell when you’re giving too much. Relationships should be about balance, where both people feel like they’re getting as much as they’re giving.
Here are seven signs that might show you’re doing more than your fair share.
It’s important to keep an eye out for these signs because they can tell you a lot about how healthy your relationship is.
If you find yourself nodding along to many of these signs, it might be time to think about how things are going with your partner.
Remember, it’s okay to take a step back and look at how things are going.
1. You’re Always the One Making Plans
You might be giving too much in your relationship if you find yourself always being the one who has to suggest what to do next.
Whether it’s deciding where to eat or planning weekend activities, if your partner rarely contributes ideas or makes efforts to organize things, it could be a sign of imbalance.
Relationships are a two-way street, and both people should feel excited about spending time together and coming up with fun things to do.
When your phone buzzes more with reminders for plans you’ve made rather than messages from your partner suggesting new ideas, it’s worth taking a step back.
Reflect on the last few weeks: How many times did you wait for them to propose something fun?
If all the initiative is coming from you, it might mean you’re investing more energy than your partner.
Always having to take charge of social arrangements can be exhausting.
Not only does it put unnecessary pressure on you, but it also prevents you from enjoying the spontaneity that your partner could bring into the relationship.
Everyone deserves a break from always being the planner, so it’s important for both partners to share this role.
2. Your Conversations Are One-Sided
Are you often left feeling like you’re the only one sharing thoughts and feelings in your relationship?
This could be a sign that you’re giving too much. In a healthy partnership, both people should feel comfortable and encouraged to express themselves.
When conversations are mostly you talking and your partner just listening—or not engaging much—it might be time to rethink the dynamics.
Notice if you’re always the one asking questions to keep the conversation going while responses from your partner are minimal or non-existent.
Communication should be like a tennis match, where both players are equally active, sending the ball back and forth. If you’re the only one hitting the ball, you’ll eventually get tired.
Furthermore, if you find yourself rehearsing what to say next instead of feeling relaxed and spontaneous, it might be because you’re overcompensating for your partner’s lack of participation.
A good talk should feel easy and balanced, where both people contribute naturally and eagerly.
[Related: 5 Common Dating Mistakes That Often Ruins Relationships]
3. You Feel Drained Rather Than Energized
Feeling constantly drained instead of energized can be a clear indicator that the scales are tipped too far in your relationship.
When you’re giving more than you’re getting back, it’s natural to feel depleted. Relationships should add to your life, not leave you feeling empty.
If after spending time with your partner, you often feel more tired and less happy, it’s important to assess why.
Are you doing all the work to make things function smoothly? Are you always adjusting your schedule and compromising your needs to fit theirs?
These can be exhausting and leave you feeling less fulfilled.
Moreover, pay attention to your emotions. Happiness and satisfaction from a relationship should come naturally, not as something you have to struggle to achieve.
When you’re constantly striving to make your partner happy at your own expense, it’s time to reconsider how much you’re giving and what you’re actually receiving in return.
4. Your Partner Rarely Says Thank You
Not hearing “thank you” from your partner can be a subtle sign that you’re giving too much.
Appreciation is a key ingredient in any relationship. When your efforts and kindness go unnoticed or unacknowledged, it can feel like you’re being taken for granted.
Everyone likes to feel appreciated, especially by someone they care about.
Imagine doing thoughtful things, like making dinner or organizing a special day out, and receiving no acknowledgment or gratitude in return.
Over time, this lack of appreciation can make you feel less motivated and less valued. A simple “thank you” can make a big difference in how valued you feel.
Consider how often you express gratitude towards your partner and how often they do the same. A balance of give and take in showing gratitude strengthens a relationship.
If you find yourself always on the giving end, it might be time to talk about how you both can better appreciate each other’s efforts.
5. You Make All the Compromises
Another sign you might be giving too much is if you’re the only one who makes compromises.
Compromise means both partners give a little to reach a solution that works for both.
However, if you’re always the one bending to fit your partner’s wishes or changing your plans to align with theirs, the balance may be off.
Take a moment to think about the last few disagreements or decisions you faced as a couple.
Who adjusted their stance to find a middle ground? Being flexible is great, but not if you’re the only one stretching.
Relationships require both people to sometimes step out of their comfort zones.
Moreover, constantly compromising can lead to resentment. If you often find yourself agreeing to things just to keep the peace or because you know your partner won’t budge, it’s a red flag.
Both partners should feel like their needs and wants are equally important.
6. Your Partner’s Problems Always Take Center Stage
Do you find that your conversations and time together are dominated by your partner’s issues?
In a loving relationship, both partners’ problems should get attention. But if you’re always the listener and never the one being heard, you might be giving too much.
Reflect on when you last shared something that was bothering you. Did your partner listen and offer support, or did the conversation quickly shift back to their problems?
Support should be mutual, with both partners having space to voice their concerns and receive empathy.
Additionally, always focusing on your partner’s problems can prevent you from addressing your own needs.
It’s essential for both individuals in a relationship to have the opportunity to talk about their own challenges and receive support.
7. You Fear Saying No
Feeling afraid to say no to your partner is a telling sign that you might be giving too much.
In any healthy relationship, you should feel comfortable setting boundaries and expressing your own desires or limitations.
Fear of how your partner will react if you refuse something can indicate that the relationship dynamics are skewed.
Ask yourself how you feel when you think about saying no to your partner. Anxious, nervous, or worried they might get upset?
These feelings suggest you’re more concerned with pleasing them than maintaining your own happiness and well-being.
Remember that saying no is a healthy part of any relationship. It helps maintain your sense of self and ensures that your needs are being met.
A partner who respects and values you will understand and accept your boundaries without making you feel guilty.